Tag Archives: workplace

Today’s Word is… PREFERENCE

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“Yo I’m about to invite the interns to our table”

So my boy leaves and walks back with these two girls.  One was brown skinned, short, slender, she had pretty eyes but I’m not sure if they’re real or contacts.  The other fiery red hair, piercing green eyes, also small but a little thicker.  It was two of them and two of us, did he just set me up to set him up?  He introduces me to them, and we start talking, clearly he’s flirting with the white girl and presumably I’m supposed to entertain the sista. Now because, 1. I’m not interested in coworkers, 2. The white girl was easily more attractive, I found myself more drawn to her.  Anyway, lunch ends we all go back to work.  I run into the intern again as we’re leaving, we continue our conversation, she throws a few lobs out there about how she exclusively dates black guys, her affinity for Drake, and I was secretly bracing myself for a Trayvon question.  We go our separate ways. 

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Few days later, me and my boy talking, he asks me about the intern, I tell him nothing is going down, he tells me he hears she’s into brothers (did she release a PSA?).  “Yeah, she one of those”.  Now, I knew what he was getting at but I wanted to make sure he knew what he was getting at.  “A white girl who only dates black guys” he follows up “Why is it always so finite though, even black women I date usually ONLY dates white guys” A fair point, just about every white woman I’ve dated only dated black guys, but to be fair, honestly I would be reluctant to just approach a white woman cold.  I usually would let them approach me or wait for lobs like the intern threw.  That’s for no reason other than my usual obliviousness, I need some kind of hint from women of any race. 

My boy brought up a good point, preferences always have an origin story.  I prefer to date women over 24, younger women simply aren’t mature enough to handle the caliber of relationship I expect.  I prefer not to date mothers, I like flexibility and I’ve had bad experiences.  To say I prefer only white women, there’s no rationale to ONLY like that race, I came from a black woman, I will have black kids, to say I’m simply unattracted to black women would be ridiculous, any other reason would be rooted in some sort of unproven stereotype.  I’ve been out with my boy and had sistas dismiss me for him because they think he’s safer, more responsible, when we have the same job, he lives at home and has a child, I do not.  Stereotypes still say don’t bet on black #doe.  He’s been rejected by black women because they assume he’s lame, not “down”, or not checking for them.  They don’t know better. 

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Now, fast forward a few days I’m talking to the black intern.  Ironically efugginuff (yes that’s a word) she was put off by our first meeting and assumed “i was one of those”.  Now I knew what she was getting at but I wanted to see if she knew what she was getting at.  “You was all over ______, thought you just didn’t like other black people”(talking to two white people and not her, issue with blacks #thereach). I quickly clarified and also made a note, white or black I don’t talk to coworkers or interns. (She’s 21 which would be another strike).   We resolved whatever issue she had (I was getting some of the fakest good mornings ever) and for now all is well in the workplace.  As for why white women who date black guys ONLY date black guys? Simple, once you go black, I think you know the rest.  Kidding. Mostly.

-Stan-

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Filed under Dating, Simply Stan

Today’s Word is… FLIRTATIONSHIP

[EDITORS NOTE: Suffering from a mild case of writers block, I asked readers to give me a word, most were common names and food so alas I ended up with this one…*Kanye shrug*]

Yes 14 posts in and I’ve already resorted to made up words. Sue me.  So what is a flirtationship, it’s as the name suggest a flirting relationship, nothing more, nothing less. There’s several types of flirtationships: there’s the online flirtationship, common on Twitter, message boards and blogs.  There’s the Workplace flirtationship;  This is the one you tease throughout the work and causes whispers at the water bubbler, it’s like Jim and Pam from The Office before NBC forced them to be together because every show has to have a forced will they/won’t they couple. There’s the Customer Service flirtationship;  this is people who are paid to like you but you think it’s more anyways see cashiers, waitresses, strippers.  There’s levels of flirtationships; there’s thirst, casual, and what if.  The thirst is usually one sided,compliments which are shrugged off. Casual is mutual, there’s attraction but not enough to make either act upon it.  Then there’s what if the most dangerous where it becomes more than jokes and innuendo you start wondering what if, but again never acting on it.

I. Don’t take the flirtationship too seriously– Unless stated otherwise, flirting should be taken as just that.  Personally, I’m very oblivious, if a girl is throwing obvious signs I’ll probably still miss it.  I’m also oblivious to the fact that she might take what I’m saying to the head.

II. Don’t take the flirtationship outside of the original realm–  Perhaps a personal preference but if I flirt with you casually online, I don’t care to meet you.  What happens at the workplace stays at the workplace.  Why am I weird like that? Because it kills the mystique of it.  I don’t want to find out the cute waitress is really engaged or one of my twitter followers is really not as she say.

III. Don’t ruin actual relationships with Flirtationships- It goes without saying but most women I’m actually with, hate how flirty I am.  No matter how much I try to assure otherwise it’s a losing battle so obviously if it comes down to the flirtationship or actual relationship, relationship wins all the time, like rock over scissors.  In that same regard, like rule #1, don’t take me too seriously, don’t lose your husband over me.

IV. Flirtationships rarely evolve into anything more- As I is to III, II is to IV.  When one tempts fate and tries to take the flirtationship to the next level it rarely works. Why? Because usually flirtationships are based off superficiality.  Men and women usually flirt because there isn’t much else to talk about.

This is the part where I usually apply the word to my own life but I got nothing.  I enjoy my flirtationships, they’re silly, spontaneous and boost my already large heh heh heh ego.  But of course flirtationships aren’t for everybody, engage at your own discretion.

-Stan-

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Filed under Love, Randomness, Relationships