Tag Archives: weight loss

Today’s Word is… WEIGHT

I’m talking with “coworker” and she says she wants me to help her lose weight.  I personally try to steer clear of this, one because I’m in no way shape or form a weight loss expert, I lost weight but I also got A’s in Calculus, now it looks like a foreign language to me.  “I only really wanna lose like 10 lbs, just like my stomach and thighs” I’m completely uninterested at this point. “Coworker” got a sneaky hot body already so maybe this is just one of her ploys to talk to me more after her whole incident at the mixer.  But aside from that I get annoyed when people talk about losing weight and only cite certain areas.  It’s become a pet peeve of mines.  Actually a lot of things have, in regards to diet and fitness.  There’s so much misinformation out there that even a self proclaimed non expert like myself can’t help but be like wtf???

I’ve tried them all at some point. I’ve popped a Xenadrine  i’m sweating….WOO. Teas, shakes, 6 meals a day, fasting, heavy lifting, light lifting, AM workouts, PM workouts, cheat days, cheat weeks, strict clean eating, 2000 calories a day, 1400 a day…at the end of the day I’m 83 lbs lighter (Yes still I have yet to lose a pound in 2013 give or take fluctuations) and have no idea why.  I guess that’s more a testament to how really unjustifiably bad I was before. However if there was anything I’ve learned so far….

Pay for quality– I’m notoriously cheap.  I thought I could run 3 miles in my old Air Forces, homemade cleanses work as well as any one their selling, the green coffee bean extract pills on EBay are probably legit like store brand cereals, Planet Fitness is a quality gym for the price #shots.  All wrong, Well PF is cool if you find a decent one.

Accountability– No, it’s not all water weight, no muscle doesn’t weigh more than fat, and you know Damn Well that wasn’t a 400 calorie meal you ate.  These were all things I had to accept at some point.  I remember when I got under 250 you couldn’t tell me anything, next thing you know I was 265 again.  Sometimes we get in our own way.

Challenge Yourself– Even way back in the day when I went to the Y with my friends, my favorite machine was the leg press.  I had strong legs, when all else failed I would leg press 500, 600, I even had a school gym record of 900 lbs(someone would top it at 1000, he was on PEDs I’m still convinced),  I couldn’t do much else but that was where I owned.  Yet I couldn’t do proper squats or lunges.  I could do an hour on the elliptical but only jog in 2-3 minute intervals. I wasn’t pushing myself and the scale/tape showed it.  Dropping to 10 lbs in a month was cool, deadlifting 10 more lbs than I weighed that week was cooler.

And most importantly…

Results may vary– The reason I never care to give advice is because what works/doesn’t work for me might not have the same effect on someone else. For every rule of thumb one has I bet there’s 50 articles debunking it,  Running vs Jogging, whole eggs vs egg whites, strength vs cardio, short workouts vs long workouts in essence nobody really knows. Only thing that’s the consensus is watch what you eat and get off your behind. Well unless Sensa and Lipozene apparently they’re miracle burners. #moreshots

riiiiiiight

-Stan-

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Today’s Word is… PLATEAU

https://i0.wp.com/upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/7/70/227_intro.jpg/250px-227_intro.jpg

Weight loss update: I’m exactly where I was month ago. D’oh.  I actually did great on Thanksgiving, it was the entire week following it.  I blame egg nog, cheesecake and Domino’s pan pizza.  But what’s done is done and it’s time to get back on track for this finally stretch.  27 lbs in 28 days is utterly impossible (maybe 213 in 2013?, 14 lbs in 4 weeks, is about what 3 lbs a week, yeah maybe thats pushing it as well) so in this final stretch it’s time to get as close to 200 as possible.  Whatever Brandy, almost does count. But first I need to bust out of this plateau… (is it considered a plateau if you lost weight in 2 weeks, gained more back and lost that again to coincidentally break even…I don’t care I’m not changing my word anyway). So alas my plan going forward  get past this plateau and move put more energy to other phases of my life that sucks, you know like the love life, career, lack of network, etc.  To make it easier to remember (and probably a lot harder to write) I’ll name the steps after Jay-Z songs/lines. After all, it is Jigga Day tomorrow, yes Jigga day is an actual day.  I’m not a stan tho.

What Would Jigga Do

What Would Jigga Do

“I will not lose”- The obvious one. I cannot get disheartened.  Granted I expected to be done by now, 100 lbs in 9 months is totally doable according to the internet, maybe because I never actually buy the plans that they plug at the end of the articles. Shrug life.

 A Week Ago ft Too Short- It really was all good just a week ago.  I had conquered the Thinsgiving challenge, I had actually lost weight, so what happened, hubris met hungry.   I started to eat larger portions, ordered out twice, figured I would just burn it off.  Then things came up I wasn’t able to make it to the gym, I walk 2 miles a day but that wasn’t exactly making up for the extra amount I was eating.  Obviously, I can’t do this anymore, can’t allow myself to get cocky now I’m not finished yet.

“Get ya weight up…not ya hate up”– Lifting heavy versus lifting light is a battle as old as left Twix versus right Twix.  There’s benefits to both, lifting heavy builds more muscle which burns more at rest.  Lifting light leads to larger burns during the actual workout. Simple solution do both, focus on getting the most reps at my max weight.  Honestly it’s something I regret not keeping better track of before

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Run this Town ft Kanye West & Rihanna- I need to start running again.  I’ve beat the elliptical to a pulp over the past 9 months, my body is probably too used to it.  Running presents a much needed change of pace even though I’m woefully flat footed and Wu Shin Splints aint nothing to f*** wit.   It’s too cold to run outside (I seriously don’t get how people do it), and I hate treadmills..I’ll figure it out.

“You starting to look like bread”- I tried to cut carbs, but it be calling me.  Carbs make me really lazy, pasta especially, thus not hitting the gym, thus gaining weight.  It also makes me look puffy no Diddy.

At least he's exercising...

At least he’s exercising…

Can I get A… ft Amil & Ja Rule- No more ordering out for real this time.  It’s convenient when I don’t want to wash dishes, forgot to thaw something, etc

Change Clothes ft Pharell- Perhaps the biggest inconvenience of all is that I only fit about 30% of my wardrobe.  I wore a 2x, but probably had even bigger because I didn’t want to look bigger than I already was (it doesn’t make sense but it does).  I’m down to a large (can even pull off ‘slim fit’ clothes although its not really my taste) and all my old clothes are going to be a hefty tax deduction.  So in essence I can’t go back, the bridge is burned.  If that’s not a motivation tactic, I don’t know what is.

So on that note, we’ll see what happens in a month.   Cool, awesome, bye.

-Stan-

 

 

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Today’s Word is… DIET

I’m not a dieter, somebody lied. I got a whopper in the car, with some fries.  *Rick Ross grunt*  I actually hate whoppers, mayonnaise bleh.  As some may know, I’m on a tear to lose 100 lbs by the end of 2012. I’m about 25 lbs away (currently weighing in at 227, no Marla Gibbs) with 2 months to go and statistically speaking as things go currently, I will fall short (i lose about 1.8-2.2 lbs/wk =14.4-17.6 lbs, so maybe I’ll just lie and threaten people to keep up the lie like Lance Armstrong).  However, that’s on my current path, which isn’t the most neatly paved one.  I eat what I want, when I want and pretty much cancel it out via fasting and intense workouts.  Going forward, I will take a better road, becoming a little more aware of what I’m eating.  I won’t call it a diet however; diets to me I think about sweating bullets resisting the urge to eat a cookie. Damn that I’m a grown man, if I want a cookie, I’ll eat a cookie. What the following is more of a manly masculine male guide to follow for the next 58 days *cue explosions, chainsaws , bikini clad women and pitbull barks*

awwww yeah.

You don’t win friends with salad: That line alone is why “Lisa the Vegetarian” is still my favorite Simpsons episode, that and “Homer versus the 18th amendment”,  I’d actually pay for my own Netflix account if they had The Simpsons on there…okay I’m rambling.  If you’re out with people you’re not thinking about healthy food choices, especially if you’re with the homies.  Simple solution, bring lunch instead of going out with coworkers, find other date activities besides dinner.

Nothing fried, died and laid to the side: This something I been doing actually, give or take a few times I just wasn’t trying to wait 50 years to bake chicken.  Being able to grill also helped but now summer’s over I don’t want to fall into the habit of frying food.  I haven’t bought oil in a while and I’m not a fan of cooking spray so without the means it’s kind of hard for me to do anyway

Taking out Take Out: Easier said than done, I’m incredibly lazy. Most of the time I get fast food its because I don’t want to cook or don’t want to wash dishes.

 The cliche of all cliches, eat your vegetables.  I eat plenty of fruit but I need to sneak in more vegetables into more meals besides dinner.  Load up an omelette with some, snack on carrots instead of grapes, and I could have a v8 but they’re gross.

 

 

Blame it on the Alcohol: If Diddy released a Ciroc Zero today, I’d write him for President on Tuesday.  I’m not a big drinker anyways but I will limit drinking at almost all costs.  Light beer tastes like disappointment anyways.

White Power: I haven’t ate too much red meat period, going forward I will cut it out completely.  Pork as well (i know i know its not red meat but still bye bacon).

Black Power:  All white is not created equalI will also cut white rice, white bread and white pasta, in favor of brown rice and whole grains

Then there’s, logging food to stay accountable, continuing my normal exercise routine, and no cheat meals; there’s a day for that called “Thanksgiving” coming up.  We’ll see where I am when its all said and done, maybe I’ll give an update next month assuming i’m not failing miserably.  It’s still not a diet tho.

#loselikeaman

-Stan-

 

 

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Today’s Word is… SAFE

Photo by: Elise Amendola / AP …Also #goRedSox

My all time favorite episode of  “Seinfeld” is ‘The Opposite’.  No, this isn’t up for debate.  I feel just like George in the beginning.  Everything I have done up to this point in life has been…well I won’t say wrong…but off.  I have always taken the safe approach to things.  I chose a business major over art because I felt that it was more bang for my debt.  I’ve never done drugs because I don’t like to be out of my consciousness (yet i drink socially so I don’t seem too square #theirony).   Lately, I’ve been doing things out of the norm (i.e. this blog, weight loss, saying no) and it’s been to mixed results.  Some are supportive, others think I’m changing for the worse.  But is it worse for me or them…

For example, “She” resents a lot of things about the “new” me.  Although most of my changes have been more about self improvement, she sees herself as a potential trade up.  I’ve always been her Mr. Good Enough, attractive enough she didn’t have to justify me to family and friends but not enough she felt threatened.  She made more money than me, much more popular, liked me at my lowest basically.  Over time, I’ve lost 60 lbs, got a new job, I’m a lot more social, and rather than being happy she only sees competition.  The potential is no longer a secret, like a great sale she thought only she knew of she doesn’t want anyone to beat her to it. Suddenly the things she loved about me, irked her now.  The tension reached its peak, and it was either her or me. Have you ever loved someone who resents you, not fun at all.  However we’ve been together for years, ups and downs, perhaps these feelings will pass and we can go back to what we were.  Or maybe I just don’t want to start over, playing it safe.

She isn’t the only one.  As I touched on in “Redundacy”, others are feeling left out as well.  Like “she”, they feel threatened that others know about their secret sale.  Threatened enough to give me grief about it, yes, motivated enough to just make the purchase, no. I remain in the “safe” zone, about half a notch about the friend zone, not taken seriously however not ruled out fully.  One in particular, lets call her…”Ms.”, doesn’t want claims or labels but gets jealous like we’re an actual item.    “Ms.” says she only wants what makes me happy as long as its not her yet or anyone else for that matter.  However, there is a connection there that transcends labels, its perhaps why she deals with me despite knowing of others and why I deal with her knowing her commitment issues.  Maybe I should just let her go but I keep her around, playing it safe.

One of the few who seem to be on my side, is “Miss”, who also had her jealous moments but whether its pride or understanding,but hasn’t given me the much grief. BUT She’s also seeing someone now.  The old me would’ve fought for her, won her, and then not know what to do next.  But I’m going the opposite route, I’m not causing any waves, won’t say a word and let things play out.  Yeezy taught me.  Then again as I weigh the pros/cons the main pro is a lack of cons.  She’s attractive, she’s sweet, she’s compassionate but is she what I want? She’s pretty much me in the other situation, I’m not sure if she can take me  seriously, but I’m not sure if I should let it go altogether.  Perhaps I want her because I can’t have her?  What if we don’t work out and I lose her altogether? Is it worth it? For now I’ll leave it alone, playing it safe.

Kanyashian

Good things come to those who wait…perhaps im being loose with the word good

Which brings me to my question: Is playing it safe keeping options open or settling on someone who may not give you everything you want.  What’s the difference between being selfish and standing firm on what you want?

-Stan-

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