Tag Archives: urban

Today’s Word is… COMMUNICATION

I love social media.  It’s directly catered to someone like me: moderately attractive, quirky one liners, constantly looking at cleavage not trying to get noticed. However I’m really particular about what I say on there, I have to provide some incentive to get to know me.  I’m the same with text messaging, I have to provide some incentive to hang out with me. Nothing against either; they’re fun, convenient but *passes mic to Justin Timberlake* “Ayo I’m tired of using technology, I need you right here in front of  me”. To be honest, communication has become a lost art.  It’s not just technology, but people are so caught up reading statuses and tweets they forget that behind the computer or smartphone there’s an actual person they could be talking to.



For this reason, I don’t like texting very much.  Sometimes we get caught up with words on a screen and I want you to remember that behind all these nice words and emojis, there’s a man.  A man you can hang with, converse with, sleep with.  Also I’m distracted easily, we can be engaged in great conversation but then I get a notification that someone just dropped a 7 letter word on my ass. tee tee why el.  On another note if im fully engaged in text conversation, i’m going to text other people at the same time. I’m sure you’re probably doing the same thing as well.  That’s the other reason I dislike texting, if I’m talking to you I want to feel as though I have your attention.  Perhaps I do; but I can’t know for sure and I’m left to assume, and you know what they say about one who assumes, when you assume, you’re on a social network.

Stay Schemin…


My Facebook, like my Ayo Technology reference, is very dated.  I have the same profile I had in 2006 my Freshman year, back when Facebook was cool and my grandparents weren’t the first people to like my photos.  There’s very little to go on there, a couple of pictures with exes, the timeline feature thankfully only shows snippets and my statuses are few and far between.  In fact, “Miss” noted how drama free my Facebook was, she was disappointed.

My Twitter provides a little more insight.  However, its mostly musings.  I’m not one to say “oh its just Twitter”, because musings or not, they are still my words; I stand by them, I guarantee them, like Frank Lucas stands behind “Blue Magic”.  When I do get personal it’s usually in a subliminal form, perhaps the pettiest yet hilarious way to talk about someone.  However, many make the mistake of judging me from what I say on Twitter but essentially they’re getting cliff notes, to know me you’re going to have to read the book.

This blog has so far gotten personal, and so far its already backfired.  Yes it’s only been 24 hours and “Safe” is biting in my behind.  “Ms” stumbled upon the blog, actually I was just shamelessly promoting it on another site.  Now she’s wants nothing to do with me, perplexing because there’s nothing I wrote that I hadn’t brought to her attention prior.  Nonetheless I’m over it, well not actually but pride will not let me chase this woman again.  It’s exhausting.  Hopefully, when dust settles we can have a healthy conversation but probably won’t happen.  Well That’s communication now, text rants, snooping, and lack of active listening.



Filed under Relationships

Today’s Word is… SAFE

Photo by: Elise Amendola / AP …Also #goRedSox

My all time favorite episode of  “Seinfeld” is ‘The Opposite’.  No, this isn’t up for debate.  I feel just like George in the beginning.  Everything I have done up to this point in life has been…well I won’t say wrong…but off.  I have always taken the safe approach to things.  I chose a business major over art because I felt that it was more bang for my debt.  I’ve never done drugs because I don’t like to be out of my consciousness (yet i drink socially so I don’t seem too square #theirony).   Lately, I’ve been doing things out of the norm (i.e. this blog, weight loss, saying no) and it’s been to mixed results.  Some are supportive, others think I’m changing for the worse.  But is it worse for me or them…

For example, “She” resents a lot of things about the “new” me.  Although most of my changes have been more about self improvement, she sees herself as a potential trade up.  I’ve always been her Mr. Good Enough, attractive enough she didn’t have to justify me to family and friends but not enough she felt threatened.  She made more money than me, much more popular, liked me at my lowest basically.  Over time, I’ve lost 60 lbs, got a new job, I’m a lot more social, and rather than being happy she only sees competition.  The potential is no longer a secret, like a great sale she thought only she knew of she doesn’t want anyone to beat her to it. Suddenly the things she loved about me, irked her now.  The tension reached its peak, and it was either her or me. Have you ever loved someone who resents you, not fun at all.  However we’ve been together for years, ups and downs, perhaps these feelings will pass and we can go back to what we were.  Or maybe I just don’t want to start over, playing it safe.

She isn’t the only one.  As I touched on in “Redundacy”, others are feeling left out as well.  Like “she”, they feel threatened that others know about their secret sale.  Threatened enough to give me grief about it, yes, motivated enough to just make the purchase, no. I remain in the “safe” zone, about half a notch about the friend zone, not taken seriously however not ruled out fully.  One in particular, lets call her…”Ms.”, doesn’t want claims or labels but gets jealous like we’re an actual item.    “Ms.” says she only wants what makes me happy as long as its not her yet or anyone else for that matter.  However, there is a connection there that transcends labels, its perhaps why she deals with me despite knowing of others and why I deal with her knowing her commitment issues.  Maybe I should just let her go but I keep her around, playing it safe.

One of the few who seem to be on my side, is “Miss”, who also had her jealous moments but whether its pride or understanding,but hasn’t given me the much grief. BUT She’s also seeing someone now.  The old me would’ve fought for her, won her, and then not know what to do next.  But I’m going the opposite route, I’m not causing any waves, won’t say a word and let things play out.  Yeezy taught me.  Then again as I weigh the pros/cons the main pro is a lack of cons.  She’s attractive, she’s sweet, she’s compassionate but is she what I want? She’s pretty much me in the other situation, I’m not sure if she can take me  seriously, but I’m not sure if I should let it go altogether.  Perhaps I want her because I can’t have her?  What if we don’t work out and I lose her altogether? Is it worth it? For now I’ll leave it alone, playing it safe.


Good things come to those who wait…perhaps im being loose with the word good

Which brings me to my question: Is playing it safe keeping options open or settling on someone who may not give you everything you want.  What’s the difference between being selfish and standing firm on what you want?



Filed under Love, Simply Stan

Today’s Word is… REDUNDANCY

Perhaps my least favorite activity is online job hunting.  It’s a job itself.  Searching postings, forwarding resumes, scheduling/attend interview, get rejected. Lather, Rinse, Repeat.  Most of the job boards are full of fluff, advertised as a great entry level management opportunity but in reality you’re just soliciting paper clips and vacuum belts to irritated business owners #NBCSpoilerAlert.  On the other end, you  have temporary agencies who basically spend their time looking up the same job postings you were.   “Tristan, something has just came in, I think its a great opportunity” “So uh, how do you feel about paper clips?”

Paper Clips...fail.

Job hunting isn’t the only source of redundancy in my life.  Unfortunately, my social life has been on auto-pilot for a while as well.  Feel like I’ve been having the same conversations with different people of the same group. It’s either


“Damn bro, you been hiding what you been up too”

“Nothing much man, just working really”

“Oh yeah i feel you…yo you heard <story about fight, so and so got locked  up, someone else got out, such and such is pregnant now>”

“Damn thats crazy”

“yeah man, yo you got my jack we gotta get up sometimes”

“We do man, holla at me”


“I miss you”

“I miss you too”

“No you don’t that’s why you’re always too busy for me”

“We’re talking now aren’t we”

“Oh its only because you’re bored”

“Am I supposed to hit you up when I’m busy”

“You just don’t get it…never mind”



“We need to talk”

“About what now”

“Us…this situation…”

“Has anything changed since the last talk”

“Yes i haven’t even <something i have told her i needed her to change>”

“But <proves how she’s lying, shows all my work>”

“See you always do this”

(there’s ALOT more to this maybe i’ll get more into detail, maybe I wont, stay tuned)



“Hey you what you up to”


“Oh same here how was your day”


“Why are you being so short with me”

“I’m not”

“What I do this time”

“Nothing I’m just upset over something i shouldn’t be”


“You already know so why bother”


Yes, I’m the cliche negro that will text k as an indication of this conversation being over.

I guess lately I’ve been feeling like I’m in a rut.  If someone else told me this I would say, go head and switch your style up but it’s easier said than done.  Perhaps I need to move and start over someplace.  I forget where I was going with this, I’m rambling.



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Filed under Simply Stan

Today’s Word is… START

Proverbs 17:27

Take em to church

Is this thing on?

As my title implies, its only fitting the first post be brief.  I’m Tristan, a man of few words, well Stan of a few words since every carnation of A Man of Few Words was taken already.  I’m starting a blog, as evidenced from my first 14 titles being taken already I was perhaps 6-7 years too late, but hey what can you do?  I’m not fully sure why it took so long. I love writing, it’s my favorite form of expression.  Ever since way back in elementary school, I was the kid who used to go in with the blue books.  My weekend was never as exciting as the other kids but I would lie like crazy.


Dramatization. Me, during journal time

[Flashback: So one time I made up a story about flying to my grandfathers house.  Now I had never flew before (actually still haven’t) so I wasn’t fully sure of like how the whole airport system worked. Also I lived in Boston and my grandfather lived in Queens so the fact that I (allegedly) flew to NY and back in a weekend already made Ms. O’Brien suspicious. So just to be mean she not only made me present my entry, but opened the floor to Q&As.  Only six years old. Played myself. Hard body.  Still hate her for that.]

18 years later, here I am walking to the front of the classroom with my blue book.  My life is slightly more interesting now.  As for what this blog is, I’m not fully sure yet.  I’ve done topical blogs before (a couple of sports blog, relationship advice, poetry, songs -_- , its amazing the things that pop up in a Google search), but this will be different; I will write when I’m inspired.  Perhaps daily, perhaps weekly, monthly maybe this will be my first/last post (likely in between the first and second one). Welcome.


EDITOR’S NOTE: Rome wasn’t built in a day, this blog was.  Over time I will be tweaking alot of things, trying to finally utilize the design and desktop publishing skills I learned.  Also, I’m still trying to find a niche so this blog might seem all over the place initially but hopefully you’ll stick around when it gets better.


Filed under Simply Stan