Tag Archives: stress

Today’s Word is… SLEEP

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“So what you up to”

“Just out with the ladies, actually around your neck of the woods….”

“How about you”

“I’m just home, chilling watching a movie”

“You gonna be busy later”

“Doubt it, why”

“I was gonna stop by…”

Now at this point I’m hitting my dougie, sprucing up the crib, the usual houseguest protocol.  She said she was gonna slide off a lil early be there round 1. I finish my movie, watching something on TV, its about 1:25, no biggity no doubt, I call her she like yada yada yada she still coming, ok cool.  I look at the clock its about 6 am, 5 missed calls, 4 knocks on the door, 3 question marks, 2 expletives and one pissed off salted shorty. Apparently, I dozed off….at 1:28.  I literally hung up and I was down for the count, lights out ninjaaaa.  I then knew what I had to do….go back to sleep its only 6am yo.

You see, I’m about my sleep.  I don’t have children yet, I’m not in college anymore, there’s literally no legit reason for me not to get my 7-8 hours.  I never been a big napper, I can’t see myself just sleeping in the middle of the day for no reason unless I’m sick.  I rather have a full nights sleep. Friends and family will joke call me grandpa, whatever let me rest.  I’m not the boyfriend who is about to sit up in bed arguing, I’ll get back to you on the next business day. (okay this is like 7% effective, cuz women)  I can’t rock with those “grinders” who swear insomnia will make them rich, Lord willing, the world will be there to conquer tomorrow but for now I’m gon throw some Z’s on this bitch.

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We’re a hyperactive society.  The CDC says about 41 million Americans get about 6 hours of sleep, that’s 13% of the country (pretty sure that’s correct, too lazy to research, this is the internet just take my word for it).  We’re overcaffeinated and underrested.  Not to get on a soapbox about health because, well I’m far from the hero Gotham needs in that department but its interesting that we go so far to avoid something so simple and benefitial to us.  There’s plenty of reasons people just don’t sleep but a lot of it comes down to stress and distractions; two things I actively try to avoid in my life.

I’m the dude who will turn off my phone mid fight, I’m adament in not investing more than 40 hours in a company and a brand that is not my own, my bills and rent are set on automatic, and any other concerns going to be there tomorrow anyway, so why lose sleep over them tonight.  Of course this is all easier said than done; sometimes that subliminal post touches a nerve, she’s actually there and you cant ignore her, or you cant be laissez faire on an issue and have to get it done, or you’re just really drunk and cant sleep.

They say nothing good happens after a certain time of night.  They be lying tho.  I’ve missed my fair share of moments like #thelob, a few stories I can’t repeat, and times I’ve broken my self assigned bedtime and it was well worth it (other times not so much).  I don’t always remember my dreams but I enjoy them (and be having deja vus out the ass, maybe I’m a medium or something) but I never wake up with a regret over what I potentially missed.   It’ll be waiting for me tomorrow, and knock on wood I’ll be there as well; but in the meantime, let a nigga sleep!

-Stan-

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Filed under Randomness, Simply Stan

Today’s Word is… SUPERMAN

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So, I miss her.  

I miss her quirkiness, her creativity, our chemistry. 

I miss the way I was when she was in my life, I was excited, optimistic, ready to conquer the world.  She was my muse, my peace, my hope.

With every subtle reminder, every drop of alcohol that lands in the pit of my stomach, every moment alone, I want to plan my comeback.  I can surprise her somehow, maybe write her something from the heart, maybe this post, I mean she used to read. If only I could remind her I used to mean as much to her as she me.

But what’s the point?  Maybe we can reconnect for a couple weeks, a few months, even a handful of days and while I would treasure every minute…it’d still be temporary. 

We could never be happy, because she’s unhappy. 

I have to remind myself of that fact when the urge to try resurfaces.  I could make her laugh, smile, swoon, cu…but still, I cannot make her happy. Its a recurring theme as of late, I’m falling out with people for no other reason than life sucks.  All I can do is exhibit patience, continue to reassure but eventually kind words fall on deaf ears.  Eventually “you don’t understand” and “you’re not there” and “you don’t care”, her distancing becomes your kryptonite.  Life has become my greatest foil; looking for love in a market of debt, stress and anguish.  Underemployed or unemployed, broken hearts and broken families, not that I’m remotely special, but I guess I can’t let life take love.  Work will always go “good”, my rants seldom on repeat, I just hate feeling like a burden.  Or maybe misery does need company; maybe I’m just not vulnerable enough?  (Spoiler alert: that’s the topic of the next post)

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I can’t be Superman, I’m a bandaid for a gunshot wound.  Yet I’m stubborn, I try to help anyway but life continues to win.  I can’t undo what her ex did, I can’t make those bills disappear, I can’t wipe away every tear, I can’t just fix her life so she can be with me.  All I can do is hopefully find someone with minimal baggage or someone who likes me enough not to care.  Its a sign of the times I suppose, people put off romance for life all the time, couples marry and have kids later in life if they do so at all, I know plenty of people who just swore off dating indefinitely.  This just might be one of those things I’m on the outside looking in on, my life is far from what I want it to be but shit, I can multitask.

-Stan-

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Filed under Dating, Love, Randomness, Simply Stan