Tag Archives: skype

Today’s Word is… INVESTMENT

Been a long time. Shouldn’t left you. Without a blog post to step to.  I never liked that Aaliyah song. Anyway, over this lovely 4 day weekend I got caught up on some reader emails.  Now on most blog sites, you get an email, you open with said email, and your response is the post, but I like to discuss the issue with the reader and then post it post discussion. Triple entendre, don’t even ask me how.  I prefer this way, one it helps with the typical storytelling style of the blog, and I think conversations work so much better than just one long answer to a question. Anyway here’s the yada yada yada:

Girl meets boy online, embark on long distance relationship, for almost a year. They skype so he knows she’s no Catfish, but they havent met in person so she could smell like Catfish.  They make plans she keeps cancelling, on the latest cancellation he says he’s done, the next week gets a local girlfriend.  Girl is confused how he can move on so quickly, would like some closure on the issue.

 

We touched on a few things, why the cancellations, what she wants now, the elephant in the room that he got a girl in a week…but what kept turning up was the sense of entitlement she felt that after a year, he can just be done.  She felt she deserved a little more respect than that.  I can understand her view but I agree with his.  One, because as a reader she was well aware that my number one rule to long distance relationships, is no cancellations.  Long distance takes a lot of patience and hope, you lose one or both, you lost period.  He simply lost hope in her.

Sometimes you just got to know when to fold em.  He had invested a year in words and breasts on a screen, okay I don’t know how real their skype sessions got but I’m just assuming, a year you should be get to e-second base, right? Whatever.  He realized he was putting time and energy into something that wasn’t playing out how he envisioned.  He was left with two choices, keep investing and hoping it pans out, or just take you were in a year relationship and all you got was an e-shirt.  Okay, let me be a little more sensitive, hell I’m currently feeling someone who’s a wee bit out my jurisdiction, but thats another post, maybe.  

As for her she’s at that same crossroad, she’s invested a year into someone and it’s just…over?  How can he just be over it that quickly? Does he not care? Did he ever?  She wants answers, but is she owed them?  I’ve discussed “closure” before and perhaps my position evolved as i do see it as a necessary evil.  It should be simple and to the point, this won’t work because ________, don’t debate me on it, don’t ask about who I’m seeing now, take the humble pie with a glass of accountability.  To an extent, he gave her that, he told her he couldn’t take her seriously anymore.  Explaining the new girlfriend, maintaining a friendship, seeing her when he’s in town in a few months, he doesn’t owe her any of that.  Only return on this investment is a lesson learned.

-Stan-

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Today’s Word is… UNDERRATED

Soul.

I have 6078 songs on iTunes. Cool story, Stan.  It’s a random collection of mixtapes, albums, and songs other people downloaded to put on their phones but never deleted (I find that extremely rude by the way, its like using someones bathroom and not flushing).  With over 6000 songs it’s hard to pick one to just listen to randomly, so I usually just throw on shuffle and let iTunes figure it out for me.  So as I listen to music go from rock, to dancehall, to rap, to pop, my ears perk up when I hear one song.  It’s untitled (another pet peeve of mines, i have my itunes organized then people download randomness and throws it off), it’s a guy sounds like Dwele, I whip out my phone and shazam it, it is Dwele, I actually had the song already so she had no reason to download it -__-.  But anyway it got me into a soul vibe, lyricism, smooth instrumentals, powerful voices…no fist pumping, no Skrillex, no enhanced vocals. Soul is such an underrated genre.

Like with my overrated post, when I say underrated I’m not saying that other people don’t like it or that it’s even that great. But like neo-soul music, it doesn’t get as much credit as it ought.

Skinny Women- It’s almost a double standard skinny women are often vilified for simply being skinny. While I can say I typically go for thicker women, I wouldn’t say they are the end all be all. Skinny women need love too. Just keep that stomach flat tho, no need for 6 pack abs. Bleh.

Phone Calls- Something about actually calling someone and hearing their voice that seems much more personal.  Texting is too synonymous with multitasking very rarely am I sitting and waiting for your message, I’m probably doing something else (or talking to someone else).  Skype is fun but i get tired of staring at your cleavage the screen and its not like i can look away you’re watching me.

Drawing- Before silly tee shirts, and muttering funny one liners, drawing was my way to meet girls.  Even in college when everyone had out laptops pretending to take notes, I would sit next to a cute girl and doodle away and wait for her to notice.  Now in an era where pencil and paper are becoming endangered species, I still will find time to draw.  Speaking of, this 30 in 30 blog challenge completely took over my #sketchbooksundays on Instagram.

Guess I’m a dog then…cuz…umm…

Stretching- It’s not just a way for women to be subtly sexy, it’s important for everyone to stretch. It’s amazing how many times you go to the gym, see a guy bench press 300 then need the wall to support him as he kneels to tie his sneaker.  I might not lay out a mat and do yoga but I do stretch all the time, throughout the workday and at the gym.

Tap Water- I go to the grocery store and buy two cases of water every month (and Mitt Romney smirk if they forget to ring it) but even then when I run out I turn to good ol tap water.  It kills me how many people act too good for tap water like they don’t bathe, brush their teeth and make ice with it.

Bob’s Burgers- Easily the funniest show on Fox Sunday, well besides when the Cowboys are playing (shots shots…shots shots shots…shots)

Student Discounts- I will continue to use any and all student discounts until I look too damn old to get away with it.  I still want to enroll in a school this month and claim it on my taxes.  HOPE credit for the muhfuggin win!!!!

QWERTY keyboards- I’ve been eligible for an upgrade since July (yes my longest relationships are now Facebook (6 yrs), Twitter (2.5 years) and Sprint (2 years) tragic) but I wont use it because there’s absolutely no new phones with a keyboard.  I own a tablet, I don’t need a mini etch and sketch sized phone to watch movies on and draw clown hair on LeBron’s picture. And Text to Speech isnt as great as you think, I can’t tell my phone to play Kanye West because Google keeps putting Conyay

Anything Handwritten- I drew up a concept for my tattoo; its centered around my mother’s actual signature (i actually revealed this at Thanksgiving now my sister wants it, we gon have problems).  What’s more artistic that something written from your own hand, especially in this Matrix age where they don’t even teach cursive anymore so I feel my whole 2nd grade education was a sham.  When “Ms” had her internship in Thailand (before we crashed and burned) I suggested we write each other as well, it seemed more personal than a gmail or a skype.  Letters are not just for soldiers and convicts.

Dry Cleaners- I love my local dry cleaners.  It’s pretty much my favorite thing about the town besides the ice cream parlor. I take my coats in before the winter, my track jackets and hoodies before the spring.  They come out looking as good as new.  When I need something tailored, I do my laundry and a stain didn’t get out to my liking, or I just need to know my new jacket size, I go to my cleaners.  I swear I’ma buy that place.

Honorable Mentions: Blog comments, Books, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, dating single mothers, Ciara, egg yolks, fitness walking, sweaters, cats, 12pm dates, Facebook (yes facebook), Fabolous, thrift stores, the fact that while rappers steadily pushing failed clothing lines and record labels, Dr. Dre made $110M off headphones

What I miss? Sound off below?

-Stan-

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Today’s Word is… DISTANCE

Computer Love…

I told you before about the first girl I ever said I love you to.  I was actually wrong, the first girl I said I love you too was another girlfriend I h.  We had met in a chatroom, I had said something funny, she IM’ed me A/S/L? and the whirlwind romance ensued.  Those were the days.  We never broke up technically we just proceeded to get caught up in our own lives. Also I forgot my excite email password and I had left AOL for Comcast internet. We were like 14 then, we had big plans to attend the same college and everything.  On Facebook I saw she did actually attend Howard, and I actually considered HU for other reasons but that was coincidence.  I was full of it, saying whatever mastering the art of seduction at a young age.  She was full of it, she just liked being able to say she had a boyfriend, like any other teenage girl.  Couldn’t tell us nothing at the time though, that was going to be my Topanga.  Fast forward 10 years, I looked her up on Facebook, she was engaged, her fiance looked like a less attractive version of me.  I should’ve poked her.  That could’ve been me.  Welp. Anyway, I was a lot more open to long distance relationships at 14, I was shy, fat, had bad acne, dressed poorly and didn’t have sex yet to even miss it.  At 24, I smell better, a lot more confident, and my face cleared up, and I’m just as open to a long distance relationship well really not really.

We could’ve had it all….

I like the freedom, but sometimes I crave attention.  It appeals to the romantic in me, but the realist says they never work.  It’s hard to find a woman worth my time, but I like playing the dating market. I’m a gemini, I waffle alot.  There was no skype when I was 14, all I had to go on was pictures and hoping her parents had long distance on their phone.  There wasn’t even texting, dialing up to the internet and hoping an IM or email was waiting there for you.  There was also little to no way I ever was going to meet these computer loves, at 14 I had even left the state but a few times.  At 24, I’m free to go where ever I please and a plane ticket is cheaper than a month of having a local girlfriend (i did the math).   Ultimately, I would be open to it as long as there’s…

TRUST- Trust is big in a local relationship so i’m sure long distance is x100.  In the past I was oblivious for all I know she could’ve been doing who knows what but in a way I don’t care.  It’s impossible to know whats going on in another area code so I really need to be able to trust her, and she needs to be able to trust me.

ATTENTION- I like attention, only a few missed skypes and calls and I will lose interest. Sounds cold but it is what it is, the primary incentive of having a girlfriend is when i’m lonely, i have a girlfriend if I find myself still alone all the time why am I in a LDR in the first place.

PLANS- Unlike 14 year old me, I expect to eventually be able to see you.  Not one day, or in time but actual dates and booked flights.         LDRs are fueled by anticipation but anticipation has to lead somewhere. If a relationship loses credibility its only a matter of time before it ends

LOVE- I can’t like someone in an LDR, I have to be in love to the point I rather this than be without them at all.  I got to count the days until we meet be willing to pass up drinks with a coworker just to skype you, basically love has to motivate me.  I’m not going to sacrifice single life to maybe could see where things go, we have to be there already.

LDR like any relationship is a lot of work, there’s understanding, sacrifice and temptations on both sides.  It’s high risk, mild reward, and unless you’re dating Dante who killed 5 people, and got 193 years, there’s usually a light at the end of the tunnel.  It could be an altar, it can be a fresh start in a new place, it could be just something to hold you over until you find someone else to marry 10 years after the fact.  There’s also plenty of obstacles that I’ll do next time, since I still have 25 posts in a row to write.  But now I’ll leave with you with everyone’s favorite homewrecker….Alicia Keys

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Filed under Dating, Love, Relationships, Simply Stan