Tag Archives: scandal

Today’s Word is… STAN

Feel like this post is probably going to rub people the wrong way…..Sorry.

So on one of my rare visits to Facebook, I see a friend posts a video to Britney Spears new video, with the title “Britney’s back…BOW DOWN BITCHES”.  So I see some Beyonce fans not take to kindly to that and they respond on the status.  The feed gets really heated and I eat my popcorn and scroll.  I actually had popcorn, what were the odds?  I text the friend “I warned you about the swarm of them killa Beys lol”. She turns on me, “don’t you start defending that shoplifters belly having ass bitch”.  Me and her have had this debate in the past, I’m not necessarily a Beyonce stan, hell a fan even, but speaking talent wise Britney doesn’t even hold a candle.  When me and her had those back and forths it was always friendly fire, no love lost.  Although I was right, I knew to leave it alone after a while. Besides, you don’t win with stans. Ever.  They turn up their emotions to levels unknown and I’m just not prepared to go to that level for a celebrity crush, that’s how you end up with grays in your beard and receding hairlines.  Stans are something else, yo.

I’m a passionate guy, but I can’t say I stan for anything.  Stans are wired differently, I’m more of a spirited debater who comes armed with facts.  I’m a huge Kanye West fan, I’ll defend any album in his catalog but I’m not going to defend leather skirts and temper tanturms because high fashion won’t let him be great.  I think Tom Brady is the best QB in football ( > Peyton) but he underthrew Wes Welker in the Super Bowl.  Of course, even said debates would have to be brought up to me, I’m not searching Twitter and Youtube for opposite opinions just to argue, I like what I like, I think what I think, you’re free to be wrong on your own.  I’m not a missionary. 

Those are probably the worst stans, the ones who try to convert you on some Jehovah Twitnesses steez.  The perfect example are Scandal stans, Standals, Gladiators or whatever else they called who swear Olivia is the pope.  “Dessiner” suggested I watch, I was like “..nah.” she welped and we moved on.  That’s why she’s awesome”.  A friend from work made same inquiry, it became a long drawn out conversation that went from me not finding a TV show appealing to being a man who cant support a show that has a woman lead, interracial couple, and that I can’t keep up with what I personally see is a very dumbed down “political” storyline. K.

Stans are loyal, devoted, forgiving, you’d think they’d be perfect mates, right?  If she can forgive Chris Brown and pretend he can rap, there’s hope for the common man right? Noap.  Stans are also irrational, overly emotional, and clearly possessive.  Most of the people I know who stan male or female are single and fill that void with *drumroll* stanning in the first place. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying things, but there’s something isnt right with investing time and energy into something that isn’t truly yours.  Allow me to correct myself, I stan for Stan. My writing, my art, my brand, my career…I will defend any post to the death (okay i’m lying some of these are….w.e). If stans put as much energy in themselves as they do defending Drake’s wack ass album, who knows where they’d be. 


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Today’s Word is… SIDECHICK

The mistress, sidechick, whatever other name you want to use, is a unique character.  They typically represent a multitude of things. Sometimes they don’t even exist; they’re merely an ideal.  They represent everything you aren’t therefore must be.  The personification of the temptation that befalls any committed man.  Sometimes they’re simply the butt of a joke, someone so naive and oblivious to the fact that they are the only one in their relationship. They celebrate Valentine’s Day on the 15th, only get phone calls after 10pm, and never seem to put 2 and 2 together. But often, they are someone who was simply deceived.  A sympathetic figure whose only is being in love with the wrong person or rather the right person at the wrong time. 

I’ve spoken before on the lone time I cheated. It was a drunken, yet inexcusable night of passion. As I woke up, I could see the elephant in the room. What happens now? She was willing to be the other woman, I unwilling to allow her. I knew her better than that, it would kill her.  It was an interesting prospect, the golden egg of convenience, one represented passion, the other stability, in picking one I lose the other, but if I had both? I couldn’t do it, I cared too much to hurt anyone, it was bad enough this first night happened.   Being the other woman is something I would never want to afflict on someone I care about, no matter how tragically romantic Kerry Washington attempts to make it look on television.

I think part of it comes from exasperation. It’s better than nothing. The idea of not being with someone you care about is way worse. No different from two single people enjoying eachothers’ company. Other times it’s better than something, I know personally at one point I willingly was the other guy, let him deal with the perils of a relationship I’ll be the good time. It was my ego getting the best of me, I convinced myself I was too good for a relationship. In reality it was the opposite, I didn’t offer much but a projection. Let her think I was better for her than he, but never step up and prove so. I think that’s the thought process behind shameless mistresses, it’s easy to look the part of the better alternative, harder to prove.

However, in any aspect it’s just something that’s hard to defend. Single people are free to pursue whomever they wish, however any ego boost or validation afforded by “taking” someone else’s man, is typically overcompensation. If it’s someone you really feel you can’t be without, don’t provide incentive to not be chosen. Hold him accountable, demand more. As for the committed the options are simple: Be single, find someone who’s into open relationships (that’s another post entirely I ain’t even going to touch), or simply accept that you can’t have them all. Affairs are simply greed and selfishness.


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Today’s Word is… WOMEN

I remember there was this one girl from around the way. She had a big booty so i’ll call her big booty. I had got to her first, she liked me and while we wasn’t dating most of the block knew she was mine. Or so I thought, constantly she would call and tell me stories about how one my friends tried to get at her. One even acted like he didn’t even know me smh. I wasn’t tripping however, we wasn’t a couple, if she wanted someone else it was what it was.  Also I didn’t like her too much; she was dumb, like really dumb, like I had to check her ID to make sure she wasn’t secretly 11 years old or something.  Besides that in this day and age dudes don’t fight over women, a basic male will scrap over sneakers, phones and rappers but a woman, not unless she’s Rihanna.  Or defending her honor but that’s another post entirely.  Women have grown a lot more territorial these days.  They will fight for what’s theirs or proceed and take from another.  While men have collectively agreed to not stress, women are at each other’s throat.  They used to play so nicely; what happened?

Friends- If a girl has no other female friends, I will feel some type of way about her.  There has to be some character flaw if no one who doesn’t want to have sex with you seems to like your ass. Yet all girls seem to go through the I don’t talk to females phase, they all want to be the first lady in a group on dudes, it’s Eve syndrome.  Their reasoning is always the same, they gossip, cause drama etc but newsflash, dudes are probably worse than females these days.  Unless they’re blood or sorors, you rarely see women together anymore.

Relationships- I’m way into Thursday Night Football to follow but from what I heard,”Scandal”, my imaginary girlfriend Kerry Washington stars as the President’s sidepiece, but his wife is a b**** so its perfectly acceptable.  Women don’t respect relationships if they dont respect both parties; for example “She” rubbed a lot of women the wrong way.  She was rude to just about any female not blood related to the point I probably could’ve cheated off the strength they hated her.  They had no respect for her or the relationship (however i did so i elected not to pick any forbidden fruit).

The Trife is real

Sex- Men always knew women loved sex as much as we did , but it was a hidden secret.  These days women are a lot more open about their sexuality, what was taboo is the standard, and is it me or are 3/5 chicks bi curious now?  The mantra is what you wont do, the next will. Some women will be damned if someone else comes and does what they don’t like anyway but its the principality.  Women are pretty much outdoing each other the men are merely practice dummies.

Competition- When I was dating “Madame” she was jealous of my friend, my friend was also jealous of her. They didn’t know each other but didn’t like each other (ironically enough they would later go to school together become cool and have no idea how much they “hated” each other #itsasmallworldafterall).  Even today, every girl I’m talking to don’t think much of every girl I’m talking to.  Apparently I have bad taste, aside from them of course.  They all have names for them, “my groupies”, “my herd”, “my victims”, “my bimbos”, and “them other bishes”.  Perhaps its overconfidence, perhaps its just lack of respect for my standards.


Empathy- We live in a world where baby mothers being stomped on camera, bus patrons are being uppercutted on camera and intimate pictures and videos being leaked are the norm.  Its a “welp, its not me” mentality that seems to resonate throughout.  I’m not acting like I’m the most compassionate guy in the world but its odd to see women say “Evelyn Lozada had it coming”.

Now I’m not saying all women are like this, there’s binders full of exceptions (who likely read this post with the sourest face).  But for the most part women have lost respect for one another.  There is no battle of the sexes, men can just kick back and watch women fight each other.  Baby mother vs Girlfriend, Ex vs New Girl, Sidechick vs Wife, the battles just wage on.  I guess as a man I shouldn’t care, we fought for years over women, maybe its just their turn.



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