Tag Archives: respectability

Today’s Word is… COPS

[Editor’s Note: I had a post in mind but in light of recent events, I really have nothing to say.  Maybe later this week.  So, I went back to tweaked an old post… RIP Alton Sterling]


So it was about 5 years ago, I had just moved into my first apartment.  I got up went to work and when I got home there was note on the door by a neighbor, “the cops stopped by looking for you”. My reaction, well, now this is odd.  They had also left a voicemail on my home phone saying they needed me to come by the station.  Total, help me sing. I go to the station, wondering every bad decision I’ve made in the past year and wondering who got some bail money, if necessary.  I just moved here, I’m a law abiding citizen, what could they possibly have to say.  I get there and…..they were just returning my wallet.  I had lost it weeks ago, already went through the arduous task of replacing everything in it and just when I made peace with the fact that it was lost in the sauce lost in the game…here it was.  Won’t He do it.   I had a talk with a few officers, talking about how I just moved out here, sights and sounds stuff like that.  They recommended a bunch of places that I probably would never set foot in, and then I was on my way.  Over the years, I would get familiar with the cops of the town, they walked the streets regularly, most lived in the town, whether I was in a suit or baggy camo shorts and a fitted; they waved, made meaningless small talk and essentially, treated me like a neighbor.

It was a whole new dynamic I wasn’t used to.  Prior to this point, I’ve been falsely arrested twice, weapons drawn on me, followed home, stopped and frisked on my own porch, called bitch, nigger, punk and thug, witnessed a family member being assaulted, knock on wood the only thing that hasn’t happened yet is someone I knew personally being killed.  (So you see why I may have been anxious about going to the station in the opening).  Of course, this was in my old neighborhood, where I was still for the most part a good kid.  The cops there maybe lived in the neighborhood, they didn’t know me by name which was ironic because I was getting frisked and name ran 3 times a day.  Me and my friends would take alternate routes home, keep our bookbags on so they would believe we were actually students, we would split up into separate groups of 2-3 because a large group of us together was just asking for it.  It was almost like having a playground bully except you couldn’t stand up to him, you just learned to stay out the way.   It wasn’t even worth explaining to our parents, hell, people have gotten hauled off for “disturbing the peace” just for defending us.

For what its worth, I do respect law enforcement and the thankless job they have. However, recent events has really made me reflect on my personal experiences with the boys in blue; which as you can see were two very different ones.   The glaring difference being the connection between officers and community they are serving.   In my old hood, we were treated as the enemy, to the point our mere presence was enough to drive them mad.  Their job wasn’t to serve, it was to eliminate, we weren’t allowed on these streets anymore and they made sure we got the message.  [These days the old neighborhood has got a face lift, a lot people have moved because of rising rent and the old park has been remodeled and named in honor of one of the lone white residents (who is actually a close family friend, so no shade or whatever). Funny how that worked out.  Shoutout that G’Cation, I’m sure the corner store will become a Starbucks one day.]

So what happens public servants are treated as guard dogs instead of part of the community they are supposed to be a part of?  Well, this does.  A cop familiar with his community could’ve told Eric Garner or Alton Sterling to cut the shit and go home, Tamir Rice to not flash his toy in public, Mike Brown and his friend to get out of the street.  Instead, they just saw targets, saw “the enemy” and acted accordingly.  So as the President on down asks, how can the police improve relations with people of color, it starts by establishing one period.  It starts with humanizing everyone and not thinking every brown person is The Incredible Hulk.  It shouldn’t be my job to make person who swore to protect me feel safe.  I shouldn’t have to pull my pants up, wear my cap forward and grin ear to ear just to be viewed as an equal.   In the same way I don’t view every cop as the same one who choke slammed me in that pizzeria, every cop shouldn’t view me or anyone else as a “demon”.  That doesn’t start with video cameras and fashion, it starts with empathy, acceptance and community.  Until police officers, truly love and accept all civilians, sadly I expect more of the same.  Living in a reality where myself and anyone I love being one bullet away from becoming a hashtag.



1 Comment

July 6, 2016 · 9:50 am

Today’s Word is… AYESHA


Ayeeeeeeesha youre the girl I never had, I wanna get to know you betta….Ah, 90s. One time for the people who sang along…and my white readers, I love y’all too.  So recently, the internet apparently voted for Ayesha Curry, wife of Steph Curry as the “aspirational” black woman of the year.  I use aspirational in quotes as what it really is, is internet negroes propping up one woman to tear a legion of others. (My vote was for Mrs LeBron James, Savannah Brinson; she stayed down even when his hairline didn’t, she didn’t make a fuss when she couldn’t get a ring until he did, when she saw Dwyane Wade was having break babies she didn’t fret, she calmly gathered her man and got the fuck out of Miami…she the real MVP.  Also the Currys look more like siblings than a couple) For example, previous ABW the Flotus Flower Bomb, Michelle Obama who was lauded not for her education, her grace, but because she dated “down” (overplayed because I mean he was going to be a Harvard educated lawyer, at worst…and most lawyers I know personally have shitty cars I don’t know why maybe it builds character).  This year, Ayesha is praised for her modesty.  In an era of thirst trapping and swiping left, suddenly its all about getting an Ayesha, she’s rare. (Yes, a God fearing black woman is sooo hard to find in America of all places, K.)


Y'all see it too...you aint gotta lie, we fam

I’ve spoken before on my issues with respectability, its the notion that said respect has to be earned in the first place.  That’s how you have the Rev Runs of the world saying dress how you want to be addressed meanwhile his princess is being shouted out in rap songs for her noted thirst trapping.  The dudes crying for an Ayesha Curry are largely full of shit, them 10s of thousands of likes on your favorite instamodel page is from the same dude telling women if they got their act together they maybe might could get a shot at them. 

But if we ARE going to make fetch happen here, I feel we are better than archaic respectability politics, we should make her someone really pedestal worthy.  Like my Ayesha probably…

– returns hoodies
– doesn’t save a bunch of shit on the dvr she never going to go watch
– take 17 years to get ready then side eye you when your shoes aren’t on
– doesnt say she’s not hungry then pick off your plate
– doesnt put her cold ass feet on you in the bed
– understands how was work is a rhetorical question
– remembers your brothers name
– lets silence happen and doesnt immediately assume something’s wrong
– doesnt sit next to you watching TV and ask what else is on 5 minutes later
– won’t lurk your Twitter looking for shit to be mad about
– leaves the Netflix password as is because youre finally at the part of Breaking Bad it gets really good

If we going to put someone on a pedestal, at least make it pedestal worthy and not just some shit that even you don’t believe.  Or of course, leave people’s wives alone and stop trying to cast aspersions on women you can’t have anyway.  It could all be so simple.



Filed under Uncategorized


I’ll be brief…..maybe.


How do you earn respect?  Trick question.  You don’t have to earn respect.  Well you shouldn’t, and you should be leery of anyone who implies you do.  So anyway, the pictured tweet came across my timeline and it sparked debate about respect for women.  I police my timeline well so most of my followers were on the correct side of the debate while the legion of buckfoys and the women who let them use their cars were on another.  I considered engaging, but then I realized that I have no time for such tomfoolery and besides I’ve spoken on said topic before; even here.  What sparked this post that I didn’t feel like tweeting out was just my issue with “respectability” period, whether its a woman stripping her way through school, Kim Kardashian doing a nude shoot, a stranger setting her cakes out for the Gram.  It sounds much like famous black celebrity saying pull your pants up, don’t watch Love and Hip Hop, stop making babies out of wedlock, and give them proper names.  Even if there’s a kernel of truth to that these aren’t the greatest things to do, the jig becomes boreal because of one simple, poignant point….



To quote Drake, muhfuggas never loved us.  And muhfuggas never loved these women. When you’re picking and choosing which “type” of woman warrants your respect while casting aspersions on the rest, you’re doing the same oppressive bullshit that has existed for centuries.  I wonder if the dude who tried to “expose” her bothered to find a respectable woman to praise; I doubt it.  In the same vein that there’s plenty of positive black television characters enough that I don’t want to hear shit about how Peter Gunz is setting us back.

Its pure vainglory to see strangers sit around and talk about how one must earn their respect. Who is you?  Its even worse to see women bend over backwards to show these strangers look how classy and low maintenance I am I’m not like those thots, or to see successful black men put on a Mountie hat and talk about how they are new black, or to see even see a black person who likes wine, Radiohead and reading for enjoyment carry on as if theyre somehow special or different.  For who, for what?

So moral of this rant, cut the bullshit.  There isn’t a rhyme or reason to your ignorance, misogyny or racism.  You’re just a fucked up person with a fucked up view of others and what makes it worse is that you think its on the other person to change to accommodate you.  Miss me with all that. Fin.


Leave a comment

Filed under Internet, Oh, Simply Stan