Tag Archives: reputation

Today’s Word is… REPRESENT

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Once upon a time not long ago, really it was like beginning of the year.  I was at the gym doing my thing, this girl walks by, petite but thick, sun kissed caramel skin, luxurious curly fro she had tied back into a ponytail, even though we’re in a gym she looks like she smells like almonds.  She was dope.  I smile, she smiles back, I go about my workout, maybe went a little harder than I usually do (I really had it together then…sigh, but thats another post, maybe the next one).  Later that week, I’m at the grocery store I see this girl again, casually dressed with the right mix of mmph, once again catch glances we smile we go about our business.  A week after that, I’m at my favorite froyo shop in she walks…okay, now I got to talk to her.  So I introduce myself like “I’m Shyne and you, you’s my destiny” I forget where I was actually headed but we sat down with our yogurts and talked for a bit, she had just moved around here she was shocked to see another black face #noHalloween.   She had other plans so we decided we should run into each other on purpose, we exchange numbers.  Froyo guy was impressed. 

We go out on a few dates we text each other, everything is going lovely…..except, despite being finer than the tip of a fountain pen, she’s not….that….smart. I mean I’m not exactly Einstein but let’s say she didn’t share the same passion for knowledge as I. (Nice save) She said things that literally stopped you in your tracks, like all emotions leave your face, if there was a camera rolling you would look dead at it.  At first, I thought she was being silly, I would laugh some of these sillier comments off, others I really just reevaluated my decision making, like when she said she wanted to go to Miami for Memorial Day and asked did she need a passport. 

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There were plenty of gems of that nature, some I won’t even play myself and say.  Fast forward a bit, we’re not a couple but we’re pretty cool so much she’s starting to meet friends and family.  Suddenly, I start to see her under that blacklight, is THIS what I’m ready to ride with? 

Full disclousre, I aint shit.  I don’t have some brand to protect or much of a reputation period, but who you choose to align yourself with matters.  Family you’re born into, friends you make in your surroundings (school, neighborhood, work), who you choose to commit to is completely on you. She’s becoming familiar with people closest to me, she now represents me.  Now I find myself cringing on the inside when she’s talking to other people hoping she doesn’t embarrass me or shaking my head at her refusal to use there, their and they’re properly in an online status.  Yes, common sense says we’re two different people but like an employee to a company, we’re linked.  She is who she is, I wouldn’t try to change her nor could I.  What I could change, is how she represents me. 

Different roles, different standards.  Her as a friend, it’s whatever, her as a girlfriend there’s qualifiers like “#shefinetho”.  It works vice versa, me as a friend I can look like whatever, me the boyfriend that’s when the “nice” and “sweet” qualifiers come in, or maybe I’m too shy, nerdy or who knows why someone wouldn’t approve of me, I’m quite awesome. Of course, we could date eachother anyway and just go the Xscape route (see what I did there), but there’s no romantic chemistry and why start a book when you know how it ends.Alas, we’re just friends. And she thought a sink ran on electricity. She’s a sweetheart tho.  Where am I going with this….oh yeah, representatives.  We like to pretend nothing anyone says matters, big up imaginary haters, but appearances matter.   We like to downplay our pasts but there’s always some stock in who you choose to represent you and your relationship. 

-Stan-

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Today’s Word is… HEAUX

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I never got why people hate Kim Kardashian.  Now I can’t say I’m a fan of hers, I don’t watch any of those 38 reality shows, she’s just as bad of a singer as Britney Sp….*loud subway train passes*, and even from an adult de cinema perspective there was plenty to be desired.  However, I never been inclined to hate her, her fame or the empire she’s built simply off the premise that America is so muhfuggin nosy.  I felt this way well before she was ultimately linked with Kanye West beared an heir and now they’ve recently got engaged.  Even though Kanye left her because she got fat, at least that’s what the supermarket tabloid told me, also the President is a gay muslim socialist (sidebar: like how can tabloids just say, anything they want, it’s like they are fueling stupidity at alarming rates)..  Anyway, when the engagement was announced my twitter feed in true Reed Richards fashion reached as far as they could to change the narrative.  “Kim’s engaged but your babydaddy don’t even follow you”, “Golddigger jokes”, and of course “you can’t turn a hoe into a housewife”.  My reaction, well, I don’t care that much, Kanye got his dream girl now hopefully she can open up the doors to high fashion that he can’t so he can make another “My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy” and less electronic grunge frustration music. I actually love “Yeezus” I rather not get another one. 

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That concludes the pop culture segment of this post, now for what I really wanted to speak on, the idea of what’s a hoe or heaux, I feel cajun.  Kim was in a couple high profile relationships, she wasn’t exactly just being passed around the industry, Hi Rihanna.  By that metric, we’re all heauxs right?  We all go through that phase where we everything at the wall (maybe a person or two…giggity) and see what sticks.  I had my phase, it makes about 65% of this blog material, being the other guy, cheating in general, dating multiple people at once, being cougar chow, FWBs, one night stands, 18-22 year old me really wasn’t sh t.  I’ve accepted that whomever I end up with will likely have a past unless Apple or Google figures out time travel. I can only hope she’s honest and forthcoming about it as I intend to be and we will move on from there. 

This brings me to a long while back and a barbershop debate being had.  This guy was engaged to this woman Shaniece (she had a few nicknames i won’t repeat, i didnt know her personally “she was befo yo time youngblood”, but everyone in the hood done heard a Shaniece story, i hope she moves before her kids get older).  This guy must’ve really like their haricuts because I would’ve Riley Coopered and fought every ninja there, bro.  I would’ve got a fade and delivered one. Anyway, one of the old heads came to his defense with a story about his wife, how she too had a reputation but she grew, matured from it all, “they make the best wives, they’re humble” (the pg version of the quote, he really said something about how a certain body part in a mouth teaches humility).  Makes sense in theory, well not him per se, but the overall premise, we grown why would I be concerned with what others think or heard? 

All aren’t built like that; they let their relationships crumble do to outside noise .001% of the level Knorth by North West’s parents face.  Now, are there some trifling women you ought to run from, of course, but to be naive to think you the only one she did that to, she’s in your bed because of your incredible seduction, or everyone has some agenda is just silly.  I rather be with a woman who owns her past than the one who hides from it, acceptance is growth, aversion is hinderance.

-Stan-         

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