Tag Archives: Rant

Today’s Word is… RESPECTABILITY

I’ll be brief…..maybe.

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How do you earn respect?  Trick question.  You don’t have to earn respect.  Well you shouldn’t, and you should be leery of anyone who implies you do.  So anyway, the pictured tweet came across my timeline and it sparked debate about respect for women.  I police my timeline well so most of my followers were on the correct side of the debate while the legion of buckfoys and the women who let them use their cars were on another.  I considered engaging, but then I realized that I have no time for such tomfoolery and besides I’ve spoken on said topic before; even here.  What sparked this post that I didn’t feel like tweeting out was just my issue with “respectability” period, whether its a woman stripping her way through school, Kim Kardashian doing a nude shoot, a stranger setting her cakes out for the Gram.  It sounds much like famous black celebrity saying pull your pants up, don’t watch Love and Hip Hop, stop making babies out of wedlock, and give them proper names.  Even if there’s a kernel of truth to that these aren’t the greatest things to do, the jig becomes boreal because of one simple, poignant point….

THESE PEOPLE DON’T WANT TO RESPECT YOU ANYDAMNWAY

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To quote Drake, muhfuggas never loved us.  And muhfuggas never loved these women. When you’re picking and choosing which “type” of woman warrants your respect while casting aspersions on the rest, you’re doing the same oppressive bullshit that has existed for centuries.  I wonder if the dude who tried to “expose” her bothered to find a respectable woman to praise; I doubt it.  In the same vein that there’s plenty of positive black television characters enough that I don’t want to hear shit about how Peter Gunz is setting us back.

Its pure vainglory to see strangers sit around and talk about how one must earn their respect. Who is you?  Its even worse to see women bend over backwards to show these strangers look how classy and low maintenance I am I’m not like those thots, or to see successful black men put on a Mountie hat and talk about how they are new black, or to see even see a black person who likes wine, Radiohead and reading for enjoyment carry on as if theyre somehow special or different.  For who, for what?

So moral of this rant, cut the bullshit.  There isn’t a rhyme or reason to your ignorance, misogyny or racism.  You’re just a fucked up person with a fucked up view of others and what makes it worse is that you think its on the other person to change to accommodate you.  Miss me with all that. Fin.

-Stan-

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Today’s Word is… SNOW

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77 inches of snow.  Seventy seven.  Snow tall enough run a pick and roll in the NBA.  Snow always standing in the back of a group photo.  Snow so white, its an Oscar nominee.  Snow be like #occupyallstreets. Who pissed off Mother Nature? Was it the conservatives who think climate change is myth?  Did some little kid see Frozen and wish this shit would happen in real life?  Did I join the Night’s Watch? Did the entire continent shift up to the north pole?  Like, tiny flakes of frozen water fell from the sky and it has taken over an entire city.  In 3 weeks.  I haven’t had a full work week in a month.  I’ve gotten accustomed to a certain standard of living, I’m not here for these short checks, B

*breathe*

So anyway, I’m reporting live from my house because again, snow has decided to shut the city down and well, what’s there to do now?  I mean sure there’s

1. Sex (Unavailable)

2. Procure #1 which is an activity itself

3. Create a Hypoghettical and watch Twitter argue

4. Watch all the Fast & The Furious movies because phuck fyshics

5. Binge watch the Wire and or Breaking Bad because you’re tired of pretending you watch the Wire and or Breaking Bad

6. Post a dope pic on Instagram and watch how many extinguished flames were just thinking about you

7. Master Spanish on Duolingo then turn it to Univision to see how much you don’t know Spanish

8. Make Hot Chocolate….. With Bailey’s

9. Make a Tinder for a last ditch effort to find a Blizzard Bae

10. Start a new recipe only to get halfway through and realize you’re missing an ingredient and you’re not going out in this weather so you substitute with things you have

10a. Upon realizing your version is better; submit your recipe

11. Take pics in different outfits so later in the week you have ammo when someone wants a pic and you look like shit

12. Watch Martin reruns and peep how many times one of them break character and laugh and they were like w.e we ain’t reshooting this scene

13. Listen to the Serial Podcast and explain to others how an 18 year old pothead masterminded a frame job for murder

14.  Go on YouTube and laugh at RKO vines

15. Look outside to see that your neighbor went in so you can shovel without making small talk about the weather

16. Text someone using a bunch of Emojis you never used before even if they make no sense

17. Think of a TV show, Music artist or Movie and look at up on Wikipedia and then just fall into the rabbit hole of clicking links to more entries

18. Binge read this blog from “Start”, watch me go from bad, to kinda good, to basically running on fumes

19. Think of a random person from elementary school then try and look them up, don’t actually reach out, cuz creepy.

20. Get an update on #2…and either make a playlist on Spotify of #LeaveItInMusic or #Sadderday depending on how well that works out

21. Look up a new workout regimen you’re not going to follow

22. Go on EBay and try and win auctions at the last minute to drive the price up.

23. Watch HGTV until you hate your house and everything in it

24. Watch a bad black movie on Netflix, make a new profile otherwise your recommendations are going to look like the dude who sells DVDs at the barbershop

25. Live Tweet a Disney movie with adult sensibilities…because “slave” Jasmine towards end of Aladdin > Princess Jasmine

26. Clean your damn house. That probably could’ve been stated earlier

27. Go on random Instagram followers pages and like pictures

28. Watch an old sitcom and think about how much easier it would’ve been if they had smartphones

29. Start a bunch of games in Words With Friends and Trivia Crack you’re going to not care about in 3 days

30. Write a blog post on things you could do on a snow day even though this was written Sunday night so when most people read this, I’ll probably be like

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All day.

31. Make a GoFundMe so I can move somewhere there isn’t Derrick Rose level of snow outside.

-Stan-

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Today’s Word is… THUG

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So what is a thug?  By definition, it’s a criminal.  What is a criminal, someone who commits a crime.  What isn’t a crime? Being a black person. 

So what is a thug? It has become the Coke Zero version of the n word, used in the same degrading context that it might as well be the “t word” (sorry t word has already been taken; would you like to try t word01, t word_, word.t). A year after Seahawks cornerback shared these very sentiments, it appears no one has learned their lesson because this year the thug scope has been aimed at Sherman’s teammate Marshawn Lynch.  Not for being loud, aggressive and outspoken like Sherman, he actually wants to just do his job and go home.  Thug life.  When thug isn’t being misappropriated to an athlete, its being used to describe an unarmed police homicide victim, the President, the author of this blog.  Now what do we all have in common? *cue Jeopardy music*

So what is a thug?  It’s the Coke Zero version of n*gger.  It’s n*gger but don’t take my job, it’s n*gger but don’t call me a racist, it’s I need to feel okay with unarmed teens dying, it’s I need to still feel superior to a black millionaire, it’s why can you people say the other word and I can’t. 

So what is thug? To me, its a slur.  I’ll go out on a limb and say if someone refers to a black person as such, you meant the other word.  They meant to dehumanize, they meant to devalue, they meant to stir up a certain feeling of disdain.  In short, words means things and I wish people especially in the media would stop insulting our intelligence by feigning ignorance to the context of what they’re saying.  When they call Lynch a thug, they aren’t thinking about Bond villain henchmen or the Indian muggers of the 1800s, they are thinking “a contemptible black person”. 

So what is a thug?  It’s not to be taken lightly, it’s not a racist cheat code, it’s not a Super Bowl winning Running Back who won’t give a quote.  In the same way society frowns upon white people saying the n word (unless you play wide receiver for the Eagles) I hope eventually words like “thug”, “ghetto”, “hood”, “inner city” become just as despised because we’re not naive and know exactly whats being implied. 

-Stan-

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Today’s Word is… TWITTER

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One of my first barbershops I went to was this half barbershop/half salon up the street.  It started off strictly two separate establishments as dudes with braids & sistas with fades grew more trendy the masses joined together and not long after a Battle of the Sexes was waged.  Initially, I was “young blood” being talked through, not to, by men and women alike trying to win their respective debates under the guise of giving me some game.  As I got older I partook in some of the dialogues but eventually, I just wanted to get my “regular, 1 1/2, skinny chinstrap, leave the goatee” and go about my business. So, I found a new barbershop.  It got exhausting debating hypoghettocals like “So you wouldn’t smash your cousins ex if you only met her one time before at a party and she don’t recognize you now” with a bunch of people whose opinions on the matter don’t actually mean anything.  (Also my regular barber got locked up Free “Dread” Bwop Bwop *air horns*).    That’s how I feel about Twitter or “Black Twitter” as the media outlets like to call it sometimes; it just gets….exhausting. 

Now if you follow me on there, you know I’m fairly active on Twitter.  At its best, Twitter is great at getting and reacting to news in real time or consuming media.  Whether its the Superbowl, Apple Press Conference, a State of the Union address, Twitter is the go to for context, opinion, and them jokes (and of course trolls but they get half a bar…..y’all know the rest).  Then there’s times when there isn’t really any news, no game is on, no TV show with a cult following on; its a Tuesday morning and people are at work? more or less getting their barbershop on with outlandish opinions, with mentions and RTs providing credence to the nonsense.  It feels like I’m back at the old barbershop. Everything is a battle.

I’m in my mid 20s, corporate job, Gemini, no kids, under 6′, attended a PWI, have a Samsung phone, PS4, Boston sports fan, indifferent on the weight and hair choice of dating partners, somewhat traditionalist, lean liberal, and I like Turkey Bacon.  That right there is about 35 twitter debates, except I don’t feel the need to turn every aspect of my life into a societal debate.  It’s not so much that I think celeb X is attractive, everyone must or else prepare for battle.  If a 21 year old wants to think her husband must make 100K, why must the league of 30something Twitter rain judgement upon her and tell her she can’t because they didn’t?  Why can’t a song be a song or a movie a movie without someone putting their own agenda into it?  We do we even care when it has no actual bearing on our feelings, our lives.  I remember the barbershop wars would get so heated, you would think these were couples arguing and not strangers and acquaintances that wasn’t checking for each other anyway.  So why even invest the energy? Who cares?

We care. We all do.  It’s a natural urge to defend when one feels attacked, even if the attacker is a sassy stranger getting a roll n set or just some miscellaneous person on Twitter.  Over time, that urge wanes when you realize ultimately that person doesn’t matter.  “Don’t feed the trolls” “Its Just Twitter” “I Know Somebody Like It” much easier said than done when confronted with some fuggery.  I’ve gotten better with just rolling my eyes and keeping it moving but on a good day, I will go off.  But you know I’m being better in 2015, channel your inner Kanye n whatnot.  I stopped going to the barbershop, I could just as easily delete Twitter……

….nah.  Its too connected to my TV watching (cuz some shows are just unwatchable without live tweeting) but I will make it a point to take some breaks when I’m fourfiveseconds from wyling because some people, well, I just wonder who raised them

-Stan-

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Today’s Word is… COMFORT

Editors Note: This was supposed to be a different post entirely and turned into just me thinking out loud….just ride with me for a minute

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So I was shopping for clothes, because fall is the season for stunting on muhfuggas.  After a long summer of not working out as much, ordering out because it was too damn hot, and getting plenty of play anyway, well let’s just say I put on a few pounds.  Now, since I lost the weight over a year ago I wore a L regular, I tried on shirts in that size and….I got them on.  They made due now but will I be able to wear them in November, not so sure.  (For the record, I’m going to get my shit together, more D&F posts and all that).  I opted for XLs to be on the safe side.  I wasn’t happy with where I was but there was only so much to be done at this point, so I will deal.  That’s what comfort ultimately is, you’re just okay in your ways.

Comfort is a gift and a curse, its satisfying to feel content with a situation but its also a trap; get too comfortable and you never change.  Jobs, dating life, living situation, eventually you just have to tell yourself this is cool, but its not good enough.  Its something I have to remind myself of constantly.  I spent last summer comfortable in a long distance situationship only to be gut checked and realize I wasted a summer being enamored with words on a screen.  I spent this past summer climbing up a corporate ladder while looking longingly at the escalator for creatives. And I spent this summer chilling out maxing relaxing all cool and now my shirts have an X in them again.  I regret nothing, but I still can say, I can do better than this.  

I’ve always been more realist than dreamer, as more INFJ types tend to be.  I don’t think I fear failure as much as I look and run 5 simulations before I leap.  I admire dreamers who just don’t care and just do.  Several childhood friends of mine decided to be rappers, they’re terrible but I’ve written songs and books that’ll never see the light of day so they are doing better than me in that regard.  Reine is a big dreamer and I admire that about her, even if some things are just flat out insane.  Realists are not always confined to comfort, I can recognize dead end situations and will hit eject and others well, if it ain’t broke…

I think we all need a healthy dose of comfort and unpredictability.  I want a steady paycheck, to go home to the same pretty face, to be confident in my own appearance and ability, but I don’t want to do the same thing for 40 years, I don’t want to be in a relationship I’m not happy in, or to be so comfortable that I’m 350 lbs and still making the same salary I did at 23.  Some people march to the beat of their own drum, they are a barista at Starbucks in Hollywood waiting for their big break.  It might work out for them but that person isn’t me.  And I’m comfortable with that.

-Stan-

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Today’s Word is… OPEN

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Dear Open Letter Writers,

This is the part where I act as though I don’t really know who you are, it makes me feel self important even though I’m obviously moved enough to write an open letter.  Now, allow me to qualify myself by saying as a blogger, I really get the need for lazy writing I truly do, but these open letters, well, they need to cease.  I don’t understand when these Marge Simpson manifestos became such a writing staple, but writing letters to celebrities you’ll never meet is weird, and lame.  As for you Dom Lemons of the world, calling out black people is not brave or new; you arent Martin Luther King Jr writing from Birmingham Jail, you are writing on a smartphone on the toilet…..please be seated….way in the back.

Let’s stop pretending you’re doing this for your kids, real or imagined, or for the better of your people.  You’re doing this for hits, buzz and e-pats on the back. Nicki Minaj and Miley Cyrus aren’t corrupting your child, her TV in the bedroom, iPhone, iPad and friends you don’t take any interest in are.  Open letter parents, you were kids right?  Now looking back were the pop culture staples the reason you acted out, skipped class, kissed classmates?  Perhaps you’re parents should’ve wrote strongly worded letters.  Of course, without the internet it would be even more likely no one of whom it was intended would give a f ck, so maybe they could just read it to a bunch of people who agree, well, like you do now.

Oh by the way, stop acting as though you don’t know what you’re going to say in this letter prepped for public consumption.  As someone who himself can qualify himself as an author of a half written open letter I can say that I know exactly where I’m going with this and if a thought did come to me I wouldn’t have to say Oh and another thing, because no one ever implied I was finished, because its a damn letter, who are these people playing the wrap it up music in your head.  You should probably get that checked out.

So open letter writers, I must ask, whats the point of this  Are you expecting a response, do you really plan to go back and forth with Beyonce like Ta-Nehisi Coates and Jonathan Chait? Do you get a purple heart for the bravery it takes to take a stand against no one in front of your readers?  How many E! True Hollywood Stories and Behind The Musics have you watched where the person’s life changed for the better because they read a thinkpiece? Why do you end letters with rhetorical questions?  Is it because no one will answer these questions so by default you win?  Anyway, even though I wasted my own time writing this letter, its time to be cool and nonchalant again.  DO YOU(did you really think I wasnt going to have pointless caps like I’m Tweet Mill) open letter writers, get them likes.

I’m just saying.

-Stan-

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Today’s Word is… RELATIONSHIP

This might be one of those rant posts that makes more sense to me than you….ride with me anyway…

You ever see a fast food commercial, the food looks so perfectly well prepared and appetizing, you just got to have it? You go to an actual drive thru and voice over the speaker sounds kind of sultry, you pull up with a smile and she’s not as cute as she sounds? However, she smiles sweetly as she takes your $100 even though you had smaller bills you wanted to stunt before you realize what kinda car you in? Then you realize you shouldn’t be self conscious for someone who works at a fast food place. Then you remember your ass used to be a lot attendant so who are you to judge, then you realize even though you’re only reading you feel like you need to take a deep breath. 

*Exhale*

So the disgruntled manager hands you your order, upset he worked 15 years at this place and now he got to fulfill orders since they’re short staffed because someone is late and he can’t fire him, he’s his nephew.  You get to a red light, open your bag and take out the Burger and it don’t look anything like the commercial that made you burn 1134 calories to rationalize eating in the first place? Well that’s a relationship.  It’s never quite what you anticipated when you went in.  No pun intended.

I suck at relationships.  It befuddles me, I’m honest, sweet, caring and sh t. I mean yeah I’m a flirt, stubborn to a fault, and will avoid the hell out of a confrontation, but otherwise I made myself so easy to love.  Women like me until they like me, then they like want nothing to with me, and become cold well, like me. Quadruple entendre don’t even ask me how.  The irony in this is that I’m almost always the one who breaks things off.  However, that’s merely a formality, as I said the other day, when its clear the relationship is going in the wrong direction, I rather break it off before resentment and regret plagues any chance of maintaining a healthy friendship.  But that doesn’t change the fact that somewhere down the line, I failed. I still struggle to understand why.  Relationships should be easy in theory, stay honest, stay growing, meet expectations.  Right?

It can all be so simple, but I rather make it hard. Actually I just wanted to make a Lauryn Hill reference, I don’t think I’m asking for much. Communication, respect, space, trust, affection these should be the standards, I shouldn’t have to earn them. Relationships I feel become more complicated than they have to be because people can’t seem to stomach the fact they just aren’t ready for one. It’s so much more than I like you you like me let’s not be with anyone but each other. There’s expectations to be met, don’t inquire about a job for which you are not qualified. Yet we do anyway, selfishly. Perhaps just out of territorial nature, or we think love conquers all.

Relationships are understandably frustrating, you’re constantly in conflict between your desires and theirs, minor issues and long term goals, temptation and loyalty. However, I feel those things work themselves out with the right person. A relationship shouldn’t be an experiment to see if you can change them, or to keep them from going elsewhere, or just to avoid being alone. It’s a meeting of expectations, a cleansing of doubts, a promise to love. It’s a step forward towards the ultimate goal of building a life together….otherwise why not just be two people who are attracted to one another?

-Stan-
            

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