Tag Archives: privacy

Today’s Word is… SNAPCHAT

I have a love/hate relationship with Snapchat.  Sure, the idea of a taking a picture with a puppy filter or spending time creating a cartoon versions of yourself is fairly puerile. At least,  that part at least speaks to the layer of corniness that lies within me.  I’m not one of those weird people who hate filters because how dare someone look more attractive in a picture they took themselves for public consumption.   I enjoy watching other people’s “stories”, Sunday morning is perhaps the best time, the people I follow tend to have…eventful Saturday nights, while I’m a child of God. (who watches ratchet snaps on Sunday mornings… I’m just a person).  As for what I hate… I mean besides the massive battery drain, really creepy snap map feature, and the false sense of security that is a “disappearing” snap that anyone with a jailbroken/rooted device and see and keep forever?  Ironically, it was the same thing I love about Sunday morning. 

It happened when went out the other night and found myself on the wrong side of the snap, everyone snapping themselves and no one really dancing.  Then the few who were, now they are being snapped.  I’m sure your curated snaps are lit but as someone who was there in real lif,  I was bored cuz everyone wanted to snap that Bodak Yellow was playing instead of dance to it. Gone are the days when you had to rely on the club photographer who takes the sweaty high res picture that is never as flattering as you thought it was that night.  Even just a quick few group pics, now everyone is damn Spielberg.  Doing a public service that no one asked for.  Everyone doesn’t need to be “there”.  I just watched a video of Steph Curry making fun of LeBron at a wedding and my first thought was, (lightskinneds have no couth) and the second was, you were a guest at that man’s wedding B, who raised you?  Or is that just the voyeuristic society we live in now. 

What is the point of paying for a concert that you gonna record for free?  Do people realize that dark clubs and deep bass don’t make for quality content?  So not only are you killing the vibe but then the snaps aren’t even coming out worth a damn.  (Also, how haven’t skrip clubs banned phones somehow, it feels like I shouldn’t be seeing half the shit I be seeing…again, just a person).   Why can’t I post an old picture without Snapchat telling everyone that it’s a 2 week old picture, why you so loud, Snapchat damn?  Is your relationship even real if you never make the snap? Apparently not.  Why do I sound so old right now? Gross. 

I mean, I’m not THAT much different.  I have a Snapchat, a Twitter, a Facebook, an Instagram, and a blog… I operate with a heavy inclination that people give a fuck. It speaks to the narcissistic society we live in now.  We document our lives in spite of the fact that most of our lives don’t warrant daily coverage.  Snapping your drive to work, telling some 17 part confessional most people just going to skip, the need to post content when there isn’t anything worth posting.  On vacation, celebrating, having a fun night then by all means take pictures, capture moments, share your world…in moderation.  Maybe Snapchat needs a limit, like after 5 snaps it should tell you to log off and enjoy the moment. Or maybe its just some shit I might be a little too old to understand.  I still don’t even know how the score thing works.  

-Stan-

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Today’s Word is… MARTIN

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Martin Payne was the original Twitter niggas before Twitter niggas existed.  Quick witted but scathing, loved his woman but not at the expense of his street cred, always ready to fight but never ready to fight at the same damn time.  Dragged women for weaves and their weight…..he was before his time.  Above all else, Martin was good for saying something on his radio show or to his boys that got him in trouble at home.  The best example being in the very first episode:

“Let me tell you something about my girl Gina, GINA worships the ground I walk on.  If I tell Gina to jump, she says ‘how high?’ I tell her watch her head cuz she going to the moon…she don’t give me all that backtalk because she know she got a man who can…..De-liv-ah”

(Yes I did that from memory, its my favorite episode). Of course, Gina got home and reminded him who really worships who

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This was 24 years ago (feel old) yet it’s probably more relevant today than its ever been.   Why? Because just as Radio Martin wrote a check Martin at home had to cash, in this day and age its not uncommon to find yourself in situations where you have to be mindful of what you say because you never know who’s reading.

In the episode Martin was clearly wrong, but in real life its very easy to slip up and have a Martin moment.  We’re increasingly passive aggressive in this social media era, communication has been reduced to subtweets and memes.  I have to check myself sometimes, as much as I want to say “she gets on my fucking nerves” and hit send, I need to be cognizant of the fact I’m sending this to 3500 strangers who can do with it what they wish. (A few months back I made a cheeky crack about my ex girlfriend and it blew up to the point I’ve had a stranger in real life point at me and be like “pull the plug”…Twitter is amazing and frightening at the same damn time). As the great philosopher K. Omari West describes it, I’m just talking like it’s you and me.  Which it is, but then it isn’t.  Lord knows my Twitter has gotten me in trouble over the years, much like Martin I tried to trivialize, tried to get indignant but at the end of it, like Meek Mill or Azaelia Banks, I was catching this L. (Shoutout to the white reader who doesn’t get any of these references). 

Just as I have had my Martin moments.  I’ve had my Gina ones too.  Have a little squabble, you’re like Baby, I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake
I’m gonna shake it off, shake it off (see white readers, I got you) and then log on social media and there’s that passive aggressive meme, subtweet or Beyoncé lyric, and I’m like WTF?!?  Now she got other people in our business?  Letting some other dude know something is rotten in the state of Denmark?  Be ready to lose my mind up in here, up in here.  I’m (something like) a writer, I like to think I’m subtle and clever with my shade, while she might as well post my picture with a red circle around it like “this is exactly who I’m talking about”.  Gets on my damn nerve.
(So as you can tell, this may or may not happen occasionally)

Two Martins seldom work, you both sending shots, until someone goes for the jugular and now you’re screenshotted on BlackSportsOnline.  We are a society that promulgates our thoughts now, for better or for worse and someone gotta be the Gina and maintain the order offline.  It’s not even a gender thing, we just seen Beyoncé just drag Jay for half an album and he can’t fire back, he just gotta love them ankles and listen to Dangerously in Love to remind himself she still loves him.  Actually, Bey might be Martin AND Gina, Jigga is just Cole.  Poor Hov.  He stabbed a guy and now he’s this.  Anyway, sometimes you just got to respect how people choose to express themselves, provided they aren’t flat out disrespectful. 

Me, I’m very much a Martin.  I’m going to say what’s on my mind whether social media or here.  I’m respectful and will elucidate on something said if necessary (I just really really don’t like to).  My ideal match gets that about me but can also hold me accountable if I stray too far off the reservation.  Sometimes I say things she might not like or agree with but respects my right to say it. Or…maybe she’s better off just blocking me and refusing to read this blog (Hi).  Maybe we are just too woke for our own good these days. We wouldn’t be here if our grandparents knew everything the other was up to and thinking about.  While the onus is on a Martin to not be out here talking reckless especially in public, a Gina gotta understand that every word isn’t meant for her eyes and ears.  But we know most people aren’t that understanding so just watch what you say in these stweets…lurkers be lurking. 

-Stan-

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Today’s Word is… SHAME

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HOW SWAY

So a few years back when I worked in retail, me and my coworkers would all take similar lunches/breaks and watch Maury in the breakroom.  Only godsisters can judge me.  It was a guilty pleasure for us, we even bet on paternity results (did I mention I was a supervisor….a mess, I was.)   For what its worth, even then I knew it was trash television but it was a refreshing break from irritants that are retail customers with inferiority complexes who feel they can talk to you any type of way like they themselves don’t make like $10/hr at some call center (I really hated retail).  Fast forward to recently, I had a day off nothing on TV, why not throw on some Maury for old times sake.  It was like when I tried to get back into watching wrestling, I saw the jig from a mile away and I just couldn’t enjoy it anymore.  Anyway, as I struggled through an episode of Maury I tapped out before Jerry Springer and went online.  Where, well,  there was another episode of Maury.

A woman was telling a story about her “fiancé” who brought her to meet his family and introduced her as a friend.  Twitter chimed in saying she overreacted so to prove her case (to these anonymous strangers) she started to air more dirty laundry to rationalize her own decision in real life to strangers.   Instead of playing to a studio audience of seemingly unemployed people in Stamford, CT, she was playing to a timeline of seemingly unemployed people online.  She was convinced she had to leave, but now she needed to prove it to them, why? I still don’t know.  Just last week, another woman fell for “the Maury”, this time informing the timeline of a woman who was sending explicit photos to her husband and even posting them online (is that illegal yet?) Once again, oblivious to the fact that the TL is laughing at her not with her.

Maybe its a sign of the times that people really have no shame anymore. Everyone is a “hater”, no one is good enough to have a valid opinion on you anyway so why not put your dirty laundry out there?  I always thought Maury and the like seem too outrageous to possibly be real then when I log on and see my timeline abuzz about some buckfoy who lives at home with his mother but flying out followers and by the way he was married, you cant help but feel like you’re in the audience at Maury.  You can’t even point the finger at trash television when we hop on social media and highlight trash.  Not to sound #fakedeep and soapboxy but when does anyone just keep some sh t to themselves?  We’re our own writers, editors, publishers and its amazing what we choose to release.  I’ve been doing this whole blogging thing for 2 years and I’ll be damned if I’m going to expose myself to go viral for 15 minutes.  But maybe thats just me tho.

-Stan-

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Today’s Word is… PRIVACY

[The following is a repost from about a year ago, an oldie but goodie with a few added thoughts, enjoy]

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The "I just found his blog" face

A little while back, Twitter quietly enabled a feature to download your own archives, every tweet you have ever sent there at your disposal.  Now I’m an admitted Twitter lover, I’ve had mines for over 4 years (5 now), about 30,000 tweets (41,000 which is about 8000 year, 21 a day, thats actually not THAT bad) to my credit.  It also serves as a snapshot of my life, my words, my thoughts as I grew and mature.  Some of it, I look back and laugh, others merely shake my head.  Notably a very public spat with “Her” that wasn’t a good look for either of us.  As time progressed and Twitter itself became more popular, more people I knew in real life started logging on and naturally I dialed back a little.  Not that I was essentially being someone that I was not, but rather there were traits I rather not have highlighted.  When I started this blog, I was going to make an accompanying twitter account but I thought better of it.  Like Facebook and Twitter before it, I didn’t want to once again have to worry about censorship or saying things here I would have to explain later.  I feel we are all entitled to some sort of privacy, something that’s is all but lost in a social media era.  

So there’s a girl, let’s call her “Special”, (met a new girl, shes not as special but ironically the same convo came up, as for Special, idk we just….stopped.) Anyway, now me and special are talking, she mentions something on instagram,

“Are you on instagram”
“Yeah”
“What’s your name”
“Tristan”

I mean she could’ve been more specific, but seriously there is a method to my madness.  Any person I’m considering seriously dating, complete social media blackout, don’t friend, follow, poke, like, tag, me.  I don’t have anything to hide but there’s nothing for you to see.  This was an easier sell than I even thought, perhaps because by now we all know somebody who has or personally have had a relationship end because of social media.  People are flirts, keyboard gangsters, their profiles are able to be access but hundreds or even thousands *fixes tie* of people, no one wants to embarrassed, that high road looks a little too high for my taste.   Ultimately she agreed.  It was too easy….maybe she has something to hide. (New girl only has professional social accounts, or so she says)

That’s what makes this a double edged sword.  Who knows what she posts?  Who knows if she just gonna just be Googling me anyway?  If she finds something she doesn’t like can I get off per the 4th amendment?  To answer my own questions, I don’t care. I don’t need to see thirsty negroes posting “damn ma” on her pictures (okay I might’ve snuck a peek and it wasn’t me it was a friend who wanted to see who she was). I don’t say anything on my social networks that would get me in trouble and everyone knows women don’t believe in illegal search and seizure, will break in your house, steal your tablet and then have something to say about a Facebook message she saw. 

Perhaps privacy should’ve always been the alternative, “She” was on all my sites and every tweet felt like I was on the first episode of “Martin”, I told “Miss” about the blog as my friend, now she’s a jilted lover who loves to hate to love to hate reading.  Exes before that had the passwords and everything.  Social media blackout….this might could work.

-Stan-             
 
       

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