Storytime boys and girls:
It was summer of 2007, I was riding around and getting it with my boy, he had to stop at the store I stayed in the car messaging away on my sidekick. It was almost seconds later the door opened, and enters a leg, not a denimed one with Air Force ones but rather thick, auburn one; uncovered except up the thigh where her striped dress started. She sits in the drivers seat and adjusts her dress, she peers over at me and screams. I’m startled and I drop my phone. “Who are you?” we both say in unison. “This is my car” she interjects, “No this is -” I’m interrupted by a horn, it was from her actual car, same make and model parked right behind us. She’s flustered by this awkward situation, buries her face in her hands. “I’m so sorry”, another honk from her passenger in the other car, she again fixes her dress and leaves, stopping to apologize to my boy who was walking back to the driver’s door. “I see you Mac” my boy exclaimed. “You bag that?” catching another glimpse of her in his mirror. “I don’t even know what just happened”.
It’s a few weeks later, its a group of us at the mall, “yo ain’t that the girl from the store”, there she was, dressed much more conservatively, jeans and shirt, sitting at a table in the food court alone. They pressured me to go talk to her. “Aren’t you that carjacker?” she smiled, we talked for a bit and as I walked back I realized we didn’t even exchange numbers. Strike 2. What I did know was she worked somewhere in the mall. Every time I came back to the mall, I was on the lookout for her until eventually I found out where she worked. She was a cashier at the Old Navy, now just to be there when she was. Retelling the story it sounds creepy but then it made perfect sense, I don’t know what it was but I had to have her.
She was working the register, and I think I grabbed anything and got in line. She was hip to my game (or lack thereof). “Hi carjacker” “Hi Stalker”. Ouch. I asked if perhaps we can run into each other on purpose. She agreed. I finally got the girl.
Fast forward two months, I’m in a relationship with a completely different girl. There was no awkward meetings, no stalking, no persistence. I basically just got her AIM off her MySpace page, started casual convo, we hung out, enjoyed each others company next thing you know we were dating. Me and carjacker went out twice, I couldn’t get a read on her. I think there was interest, but she wasn’t exactly swooned like ol girl was. Basically I went with what was easier. Looking back, it’s pretty much set a bad precedent for my dating life, I, like plenty my age, have simply gotten lazy in art that is courting.
Writing this post made me curious about Carjacker, I found her on facebook, she messaged me her number already. It’s crazy considering the things I went through to get it just 6 years ago. The game done changed. But is it for the better or worse? Is new age courting laziness or convenient? Is there even room for the old school methods.
In an era where people are less creeped out from a random friend request than a simple approach; calling a girl and asking her out on a date is so outdated (see what I did there), I’ve spoken on texts, dates and even defining relationships before, yet I’m also guilty of texting too much, chilling in lieu of dates and even settling for unofficial exclusivity. In my defense, some women find courting silly or tacky, or they are so unaccustomed to it they don’t know how to feel. I’ve been called too nice, not aggressive enough. I’m treating her dinner and she was already down to give dessert #dontbejudgingtho. Other women who wanted me to come a little harder, depending how I felt about her I obliged or left it be.
Whether its a text or phone call, $200 date or hanging out at the house. I really think at the end of the day courting is courting. I’m expressing interest in you in hopes you will reciprocate. Sweet messages might make one swoon and another side eye. Different strokes and whatnot. All I know is if she’s someone I truly want; I’m coming with everything I got,