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Today’s Word is… COURTING

Storytime boys and girls:

It was summer of 2007, I was riding around and getting it with my boy, he had to stop at the store I stayed in the car messaging away on my sidekick.  It was almost seconds later the door opened, and enters a leg, not a denimed one with Air Force ones but rather thick, auburn one; uncovered except up the thigh where her striped dress started.   She sits in the drivers seat and adjusts her dress, she peers over at me and screams.  I’m startled and I drop my phone.   “Who are you?” we both say in unison.  “This is my car” she interjects, “No this is -” I’m interrupted by a horn, it was from her actual car, same make and model parked right behind us.  She’s flustered by this awkward situation, buries her face in her hands. “I’m so sorry”, another honk from her passenger in the other car, she again fixes her dress and leaves, stopping to apologize to my boy who was walking back to the driver’s door.  “I see you Mac” my boy exclaimed.  “You bag that?” catching another glimpse of her in his mirror.  “I don’t even know what just happened”.

It’s a few weeks later, its a group of us at the mall, “yo ain’t that the girl from the store”, there she was, dressed much more conservatively, jeans and shirt, sitting at a table in the food court alone.  They pressured me to go talk to her.  “Aren’t you that carjacker?” she smiled, we talked for a bit and as I walked back I realized we didn’t even exchange numbers.  Strike 2. What I did know was she worked somewhere in the mall.   Every time I came back to the mall, I was on the lookout for her until eventually I found out where she worked. She was a cashier at the Old Navy, now just to be there when she was. Retelling the story it sounds creepy but then it made perfect sense, I don’t know what it was but I had to have her.  

She was working the register, and I think I grabbed anything and got in line.  She was hip to my game (or lack thereof).  “Hi carjacker” “Hi Stalker”. Ouch.  I asked if perhaps we can run into each other on purpose. She agreed. I finally got the girl.

Fast forward two months, I’m in a relationship with a completely different girl. There was no awkward meetings, no stalking, no persistence. I basically just got her AIM off her MySpace page, started casual convo, we hung out, enjoyed each others company next thing you know we were dating. Me and carjacker went out twice, I couldn’t get a read on her. I think there was interest, but she wasn’t exactly swooned like ol girl was. Basically I went with what was easier. Looking back, it’s pretty much set a bad precedent for my dating life, I, like plenty my age, have simply gotten lazy in art that is courting.

Writing this post made me curious about Carjacker, I found her on facebook, she messaged me her number already. It’s crazy considering the things I went through to get it just 6 years ago. The game done changed. But is it for the better or worse? Is new age courting laziness or convenient? Is there even room for the old school methods.
In an era where people are less creeped out from a random friend request than a simple approach; calling a girl and asking her out on a date is so outdated (see what I did there), I’ve spoken on texts, dates and even defining relationships before, yet I’m also guilty of texting too much, chilling in lieu of dates and even settling for unofficial exclusivity. In my defense, some women find courting silly or tacky, or they are so unaccustomed to it they don’t know how to feel. I’ve been called too nice, not aggressive enough. I’m treating her dinner and she was already down to give dessert #dontbejudgingtho. Other women who wanted me to come a little harder, depending how I felt about her I obliged or left it be.

Whether its a text or phone call, $200 date or hanging out at the house. I really think at the end of the day courting is courting. I’m expressing interest in you in hopes you will reciprocate. Sweet messages might make one swoon and another side eye. Different strokes and whatnot. All I know is if she’s someone I truly want; I’m coming with everything I got,

-Stan-

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Today’s Word is… THIRST

The thirst.

“It ain’t thirstin’ if it’s working” -Origin Unknown or I just made it up

Thirsty is probably one of my favorite words.  It’s funny and mean at the same time.  You call someone thirsty for a celebrity they’ll probably laugh it off, call a dude thirsty for a regular female and he’ll probably either be ready to fight or cry depending on his own toughness.  However, the definition of the word varies.  For some, thirsty is merely complimenting or acknowledging someone who has little to no interest in you.  For others, its more or less persistence for something that isn’t going to happen. However, the theme is common, thirst is usually one sided, unwanted and subject to ridicule.  Men are thirsty, women are thirsty, it’s one of the lovely things without a double standard.  Men tend get the brunt of it, because as the natural pursuers, we are usually putting ourselves out there to mixed results.  But at what point does persistence and confidence turn into thirst and creepy?

Looking back, I’ve had some thirsty moments #thesearemyconfessions.  I won’t play myself and go into too much detail but there were times I went all the way in chasing a woman.  With one, Mild stalking (I knew our paths crossed coming home from school, sometimes I would stall for time if she was late),  with others I went with notes, flowers, online comments, and a song that will never see the light of day. By today’s standards I was uber-thirsty, Steve Urkelian if you would.  Back then I didn’t see it that way, I knew she liked me a little bit like a little tiny bit and I didn’t exactly have too many other offers on the table.  I was 1/3 in my thirst efforts but thankfully for me Myspace died, screenshots hadn’t become so popular and we never rolled in the same circles.

My reception of thirst is different.  Perhaps because men and women tend to thirst for different things, men of course pursue sex, women pursue relationships (although i genuinely liked the girls mentioned earlier, scouts honor n sh t).  Both men and women will accept the flattery for a bit (unless they’re completely turned off by the person) but once they learn of the others intention they get off at the first exit they see.  For instance, I flirt a lot, maybe even lead on a little but to me it’s all out of mere amusement and ego strokes.  Once one takes things to that next level I abort. It can be cute and flirty at first but once you start blowing up my phone and acting like #wegotogether, I don’t want to play anymore.

Of course, it isn’t thirst if one is ready to give you a drink.  There’s girls out there that will give the DM mack some play, the dudes that will let himself get tagged in a Facebook post of Beyonce’s “Love on Top”.  Just like there’s girls that would call a dude thirsty for holding a door for her and dudes that will call a girl thirsty because she called him twice in a row.  It’s all on perception really, so stay thirsty my friends

-Stan-

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