Tag Archives: millennial

Today’s Word is… GROWN

Just thinking out loud…. Don’t mind me.

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I don’t think I slept the day before I started college, maybe it was nerves, maybe it was excitement, probably was the partying I did all week to commemorate leaving.  What I do remember that it was morning, and it was time to go.  My father was busy, my mother didn’t drive so instead of the unofficial bring your parents to school day that usually is the first day of college, it was me and my luggage making the 3 hour greyhound from Boston to Amherst.  It was me and that same luggage years later, crashing at this place for a few days, a couple weeks, a summer, I was homeless.  I was never like on a park bench homeless but I wasn’t on any leases, wasn’t in anyone’s care, I just went one day to the next just trying to get on my feet and stay out the way.  I was grown, and was raised under no one was taking care of a grown ass man.  Tough love and whatnot.  I wouldn’t wish my late teens/early twenties on anyone, it wasn’t the most pleasant years, struggling to pay for school, organizing my crashes so I dont wear out my welcome one place or the next, some days just not eating (yet still too fat for the military…but that’s another story).  But don’t cry for me Argentina, yada yada yada I’m living better now Versace sweaters now (well not plural but still).

I been reflecting on my past lately, thinking about Mike Brown, Trayvon and some #familybusiness I won’t discuss, how I see boys and others see grown ass men.  Made me think of how I was viewed only a handful of years ago.  This tweener phase when one wants to be grown but really isn’t, and as evidenced personally most just aren’t about that life.  There’s the fork in the road of tough love vs flat out coddling.  We’ve all seen the cliche 30 something stay at home son who just plays video games and call in sports radio,  but then the alternative is a 18 year old boy cast out into the world because his mother is tired of talking to him.  There’s the parent who wants to be the best friend and hang with their adult child and then there’s well, my father who raised me and pretty much punched out of work.  Of course, I’m not a parent myself so I can only speak from a limited perspective but I guess I can just stop tip toeing around my question:

Why are we so quick to discard our young?

Again, I wasn’t kicked out, I chose to leave and circumstances beyond my control locked the door behind me.  However, plenty of my friends were.  The reasons, talking back, girls, running the streets stuff that isn’t exemplary but now they’re young, homeless, and making a wage they can’t live off of.  Then on the other end of the spectrum, I know people in their mid to late 20s who live at home, most of which never left.  However, even they have tales of threats, drama and resentment, not kicking out but its very apparent they are not wanted.  I can’t imagine that being any more pleasant.  We all see what the world is, and how it can chew one up and them out why are the first blows coming from the nest?

That’s not to say, shield them from it but I can’t say I’m in the camp of tossing them out into it either.  There has to be some middle ground between “my roof my rules” and your kid and their kid both calling you “Mom”.  What is “grown” now?  I can say I don’t think its 18, 19 or even 20 now.  I can only hope I keep my baby off the pole and my boy out of the national headlines for being executed without fault and then being told how he deserved to die because dark skin is “scary” out the basement. 

-Stan-

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Filed under La Familia, Randomness, Simply Stan

Today’s Word is… PHONE

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I’ve been on this earth for 25 years, quarter century, a crack dealers jail sentence.  I’m a tweener between 90s baby and millennial and usually bounce sides.  For example, I think Jordan is the greatest player ever but can admit Kobe/LeBron do some things better.  I went my entire high school education without a cell phone, but been on some form of social media since 17.  I said all that to say this, where I’m really split between 90s baby and millennial is that I hate talking on the muhfuggin phone.  I was that teen on the phone all night talking about nothing but our first world problems and adult feelings we aint know nothing about, but these days I’m over it.  Let’s go to lunch, video chat, hell write me a letter, but why do some women seem so insistent on talking on the phone?  By some its usually women older than I am or have some Steve Harveyism that a man who doesn’t call got a wife or doesn’t like you.

Perhaps its the introvert in me that cringes every time my phone rings. A ringtone is never not intrusive, whether I’m at work, actually using my phone, or just sitting alone in four cornered room staring at candles.  Other people’s phones annoy me, especially in public when I hear the sh t and apparently they can’t.  The convenience of a cell phone is its downfall, at least back in the day, I left and the phone stayed there, something about always having access to me, not a big fan.

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There’s exceptions to the rule like if one of us has a question that needs an immediate answer, I’m mad and need to yell at you, you have a great story or one of us is driving, or you’re just that incredibly awesome we can talk for hours and its effortless.  Two people. Two people can probably make that claim.  Otherwise, its a chore and what makes it more of a chore is trying to hide the annoyance in my voice.  Bluntly put, our daily lives are not that interesting.  Even in an era of social media/blogging, even this blog I put it out there, people read or don’t, talking on the phone you’re forcing them to listen, care, respond.  Texts you can respond at your own convenience, in person theres almost always something else going on (TV, food, activities, people watching). 

Maybe I’m being too hard on phone calls, people bore via text and real life.  I think we communicate too much sometimes, that 2 hour phone conversation would’ve been better had we just got up.  If all I did today was talk to you, what’s there to talk about tonight?  Admittedly romance is lost when I’m just words on a screen, but so is hearing your voice and not seeing your face.  Phone calls are just as impersonal, even if you’re getting more attention than a text its still only part of them.  A text is a snack, a call is an appetizer, face to face is the meal, you don’t want to feel up on either but if you’re that hungry why not go for the snack until the meal comes?  That makes sense right? 

-Stan-

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