Another handful of emails, most of which pertain to things I already wrote about. However, there’s an underlying theme in them all. These women and man are knock out, drag out, undeniably, frustratingly loyal. Something, I can relate to, and to an extent, admire. I’m a loyal guy, my best friend been my best friend since I was 5, you read here I’m constantly forgiving people. However, me and my friends fought, literally, and go right back to normal, exes have done things that warranted no longer wanting to be in a relationship with them, but never have I just stood by and allowed myself to be cheated on or disrespected in the meantime. Ultimately, I’m loyal to myself above all, I’m not sacrificing my own happiness for someone else. Relationships, friendships are optional, why the hell am I going to choose to be around someone who makes me miserable? To make them happy? Nah.
Okay, I’ll draw from one email. A woman, around my age, dates a man who goes off to serve our country. He comes home, struggles to adjust to his former life, while his girlfriend stands by his side just happy to have him home. Fast forward a few months, he’s reaching out to old girlfriends, she’s finding pictures in his phone (sidebar: ladies can yall stop going through phones without warrants, thanks), and while she’s working and going to school, as he struggles to find gainful employment, his mornings and afternoons consist of being online again trolling for women without even having enough respect to browse Incognito (internet history is fair game, its her computer and he should be job searching). He suffers from PTSD and will play that card at every opportunity, as someone who barely plays Call of Duty, I can’t possibly speak on what he’s going through.
Her question, not how to get this dude out my house, how to confront him with all this evidence, hell even what should I do? Rather, how to spice things up and keep his focus. Man, where can I find me one of her? A wife with a family she’s not trying to break up, I get, a 25 year old grad student with a live in boyfriend, not worth that sacrifice. Again, we handcuff ourselves to loyalty. He’s financially and emotionally dependent on her, she takes the responsibility seriously. She’s willing to take disrespect and lies in exchange for being needed. She devoted herself to this man while he was away, how can she walk away from him now he’s here? What’ll make her happy is making him happy, even if its worth losing her own.
Loyalty is an admirable trait, a desirable trait, it is also exploitable. We all have those people who pretty much dare you to walk away, knowing you won’t. My reader and I then talked on what she wanted in love and life, not from him but in general, and then was he providing any of that. She knew what she had to do, and who knows if she will actually do it.