Tag Archives: Kim Kardashian

Today’s Word is… HONOR

I’m a fan, I don’t stan. I don’t blindly support people just to do it, I look at things objectively. I love my New England Patriots but everyone knows Brady fumbled in the “tuck rule” game, I love comics but I’m not going to dress up and go to Comic-con. Kanye West is one of my favorite artists but I’m not about to cosign 73% of the bullshit he says or does but for the 27% he is right, I will defend accordingly. So recently, Kanye found himself in the news for cold clocking some dude who called Kim out her name. Reactions went from “it’s just a name” to “publicity stunt” to Ye is just out of his damn mind. My reaction was taking the celebrity element out of it, a man hit another man for disrespecting his woman, that’s normal right? Some people on Twitter agreed, others did not. Yes, violence is not the answer all that jazz but I guess I’m old school in believing that if you talk out your behind, prepare to have a foot in it. Chivalry has been on life support for years now but defending a woman’s honor has that died out as well?

Full disclosure, I pretty much grew up in a house full of women, I took out the trash, I killed the spiders, I walked in the house first on New Years (still don’t get the meaning of that). I was also the second youngest so when it to hierarchy I only had my little sister under me. I was her protector, she was rough around the edges, she followed me around played like one of the boys but she was still my baby sister, mess with her you mess with me. Didn’t help she had a reckless mouth, but it didn’t matter because if a boy jumped up he’d get beat down. My mother, herself having three big brothers, made sure of it. Fast forward a bit, I still have that mentality whether it’s my sister, a girlfriend or even a little homie. Granted, I’m a wee bit too old to be fighting, especially in this brave new world of camera phones, Worldstarhiphop and dudes busting guns because they never learned a right cross. Somehow it’s weak or simping to defend your woman yet there’s prisons full of men who would do anything for their hitta their hitta. (Which speaks to the unnerving sentiment on black men and their women but I won’t go there…today.) Obviously, I never go looking to start confrontation but sometimes defending her honor is necessary.
For example, a little while back I found myself in some situation (I’m pretty sure I told this story but I don’t remember the post) and yada yada yada I had to take it to that ghetto university. Now the situation could’ve/should’ve been avoided and when it was over, I made sure to let her know how I felt about us both being put in that position. However, in the heat of the moment I wasn’t going to sit back and say “this your fault”.

You already know doe, you on ya own thats motto ninja YOYO

The other backlash with Kanye was that it was just a word, sticks and stones bruh. I guess I can’t say much seeing as how I reacted to being called that word and perhaps it was a silly reason to call in the cavalry, but for all we know she could’ve been having a rough day and just needed to talk and Kanye being a man felt the need to defend his lady, I can’t find fault in that. If I’m with a woman, I step away for a second and some dude heckles a bit, I’m not going to walk up swinging. If I come back and she’s visibly upset, I’ll probably have a word with him. If she tells me about it on the ride back, I’ll probably be frustrated but I can understand her reasons for not telling me sooner. Some people can laugh off insults, harassment while others are rattled and need support, when you start saying what one should and shouldn’t be able to tolerate it’s kind of a slippery slope.

At the end of the day, when it comes to defending a woman’s honor, it’s risk management. I’m not a 12 year old boy who could deck a kid and get away with it, I’m a grown man with things to lose. It’s just a matter of if that person is worth risking it for.


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Filed under Dating, Randomness

Today’s Word is… HEAUX


I never got why people hate Kim Kardashian.  Now I can’t say I’m a fan of hers, I don’t watch any of those 38 reality shows, she’s just as bad of a singer as Britney Sp….*loud subway train passes*, and even from an adult de cinema perspective there was plenty to be desired.  However, I never been inclined to hate her, her fame or the empire she’s built simply off the premise that America is so muhfuggin nosy.  I felt this way well before she was ultimately linked with Kanye West beared an heir and now they’ve recently got engaged.  Even though Kanye left her because she got fat, at least that’s what the supermarket tabloid told me, also the President is a gay muslim socialist (sidebar: like how can tabloids just say, anything they want, it’s like they are fueling stupidity at alarming rates)..  Anyway, when the engagement was announced my twitter feed in true Reed Richards fashion reached as far as they could to change the narrative.  “Kim’s engaged but your babydaddy don’t even follow you”, “Golddigger jokes”, and of course “you can’t turn a hoe into a housewife”.  My reaction, well, I don’t care that much, Kanye got his dream girl now hopefully she can open up the doors to high fashion that he can’t so he can make another “My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy” and less electronic grunge frustration music. I actually love “Yeezus” I rather not get another one. 


That concludes the pop culture segment of this post, now for what I really wanted to speak on, the idea of what’s a hoe or heaux, I feel cajun.  Kim was in a couple high profile relationships, she wasn’t exactly just being passed around the industry, Hi Rihanna.  By that metric, we’re all heauxs right?  We all go through that phase where we everything at the wall (maybe a person or two…giggity) and see what sticks.  I had my phase, it makes about 65% of this blog material, being the other guy, cheating in general, dating multiple people at once, being cougar chow, FWBs, one night stands, 18-22 year old me really wasn’t sh t.  I’ve accepted that whomever I end up with will likely have a past unless Apple or Google figures out time travel. I can only hope she’s honest and forthcoming about it as I intend to be and we will move on from there. 

This brings me to a long while back and a barbershop debate being had.  This guy was engaged to this woman Shaniece (she had a few nicknames i won’t repeat, i didnt know her personally “she was befo yo time youngblood”, but everyone in the hood done heard a Shaniece story, i hope she moves before her kids get older).  This guy must’ve really like their haricuts because I would’ve Riley Coopered and fought every ninja there, bro.  I would’ve got a fade and delivered one. Anyway, one of the old heads came to his defense with a story about his wife, how she too had a reputation but she grew, matured from it all, “they make the best wives, they’re humble” (the pg version of the quote, he really said something about how a certain body part in a mouth teaches humility).  Makes sense in theory, well not him per se, but the overall premise, we grown why would I be concerned with what others think or heard? 

All aren’t built like that; they let their relationships crumble do to outside noise .001% of the level Knorth by North West’s parents face.  Now, are there some trifling women you ought to run from, of course, but to be naive to think you the only one she did that to, she’s in your bed because of your incredible seduction, or everyone has some agenda is just silly.  I rather be with a woman who owns her past than the one who hides from it, acceptance is growth, aversion is hinderance.


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Filed under Dating, Love, Randomness, Relationships

Today’s Word is… SAFE

Photo by: Elise Amendola / AP …Also #goRedSox

My all time favorite episode of  “Seinfeld” is ‘The Opposite’.  No, this isn’t up for debate.  I feel just like George in the beginning.  Everything I have done up to this point in life has been…well I won’t say wrong…but off.  I have always taken the safe approach to things.  I chose a business major over art because I felt that it was more bang for my debt.  I’ve never done drugs because I don’t like to be out of my consciousness (yet i drink socially so I don’t seem too square #theirony).   Lately, I’ve been doing things out of the norm (i.e. this blog, weight loss, saying no) and it’s been to mixed results.  Some are supportive, others think I’m changing for the worse.  But is it worse for me or them…

For example, “She” resents a lot of things about the “new” me.  Although most of my changes have been more about self improvement, she sees herself as a potential trade up.  I’ve always been her Mr. Good Enough, attractive enough she didn’t have to justify me to family and friends but not enough she felt threatened.  She made more money than me, much more popular, liked me at my lowest basically.  Over time, I’ve lost 60 lbs, got a new job, I’m a lot more social, and rather than being happy she only sees competition.  The potential is no longer a secret, like a great sale she thought only she knew of she doesn’t want anyone to beat her to it. Suddenly the things she loved about me, irked her now.  The tension reached its peak, and it was either her or me. Have you ever loved someone who resents you, not fun at all.  However we’ve been together for years, ups and downs, perhaps these feelings will pass and we can go back to what we were.  Or maybe I just don’t want to start over, playing it safe.

She isn’t the only one.  As I touched on in “Redundacy”, others are feeling left out as well.  Like “she”, they feel threatened that others know about their secret sale.  Threatened enough to give me grief about it, yes, motivated enough to just make the purchase, no. I remain in the “safe” zone, about half a notch about the friend zone, not taken seriously however not ruled out fully.  One in particular, lets call her…”Ms.”, doesn’t want claims or labels but gets jealous like we’re an actual item.    “Ms.” says she only wants what makes me happy as long as its not her yet or anyone else for that matter.  However, there is a connection there that transcends labels, its perhaps why she deals with me despite knowing of others and why I deal with her knowing her commitment issues.  Maybe I should just let her go but I keep her around, playing it safe.

One of the few who seem to be on my side, is “Miss”, who also had her jealous moments but whether its pride or understanding,but hasn’t given me the much grief. BUT She’s also seeing someone now.  The old me would’ve fought for her, won her, and then not know what to do next.  But I’m going the opposite route, I’m not causing any waves, won’t say a word and let things play out.  Yeezy taught me.  Then again as I weigh the pros/cons the main pro is a lack of cons.  She’s attractive, she’s sweet, she’s compassionate but is she what I want? She’s pretty much me in the other situation, I’m not sure if she can take me  seriously, but I’m not sure if I should let it go altogether.  Perhaps I want her because I can’t have her?  What if we don’t work out and I lose her altogether? Is it worth it? For now I’ll leave it alone, playing it safe.


Good things come to those who wait…perhaps im being loose with the word good

Which brings me to my question: Is playing it safe keeping options open or settling on someone who may not give you everything you want.  What’s the difference between being selfish and standing firm on what you want?



Filed under Love, Simply Stan