Tag Archives: jealous

Today’s Word is… ATTRACTED

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So yesterday I was on Twitter, cracking jokes, basking in the vain custom that is hundreds of strangers wishing you a Happy Birthday on the Internet, I ended up coming across Jeremy Meeks; convicted felon turned social media heartthrob.  Anyone who has been on Twitter in the past year knows that this isn’t necessarily new; from @PostBigFines to @PostBadBeards to @PostBadW2s, its standard practice for us to share images of attractive people; its like the adult version of “that’s my car”.  I thought it was assumed that finding a criminal attractive didnt mean you were attracted to criminals but I give the internet too much credit sometimes.  Anyway, it wasn’t long before the Hurt Negreaux brigade stormed the castle and equated women finding Mr Meeks attractive to women once again going for the unsavory bad boy and not their behind. 

Its laughable to think grown men would get jealous of a criminal behind bars on a $900,000 bail, but then again there’s been plenty of times I had some ‘splaining to do because I was too into that Rihanna video, or maybe glanced a second too long at shorty in the sundress.  Once again, the lines between finding attractive and being solely attracted are blurred.  We like to pigeonhole people, especially when it comes to attraction.  As I’ve said on posts regarding dating interracially, its possible to like two completely different things.  Its possible me to love both Jill Scott and Scarlett Johanneson, for a woman to be attracted to that mugshot and still prefer a man with good credit.  Its lazy thinking to assume, oh they only like X type.  Besides even if they did, let that hurt go.

Hating on women with weave wont get your fro tugged at night. Hating on skinny women doesn’t burn calories.  Hating on old blue eyes isn’t making me any more attractive.  All of these make you the opposite, bitter isn’t attractive.  I’m not everyone’s cup of tea (I mean if she wants week old coffee then that’s her business) and I know I never will be (although I think if I were famous I’d be somebody’s crush, I’m cray cray adorbs yo) and jokes aside I’m perfect alright with that.  I’ll stay lowkey with 14 like average Instagram selfies and occasional smiles on the subway. 

-Stan-

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Today’s Word is… DEFENSE

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So recently the photo of Flotus flower bomb Michelle Obama raining on the President’s parade made it’s rounds on the internet and while the conservative media was happy to run with the angry black woman angle most of us laughed and lauded Mrs Obama’s impeccable defense. Defense is a slippery slope, on one hand you should trust your partner to know better but still there’s times when one must simply remind others around them that this one’s spoken for. There’s levels to this sh t; there’s subtle gestures which are clever and effective; and there’s full blown confrontation, which is never a good look for anyone. When you’re in a relationship, no matter who you are there will be times where you have to play defense, and when the moment arises you can play it cool or make an ass of yourself. Knowing when and how is key, there’s a difference between confronting a waitress who merely smiled at your boyfriend and grabbing his hand when you see someone checking him out.

“So who’s this Siri you keep talking to”

The Trojan War was started over a woman, the survivor traveled the war for a decade, got home and killed a mob of men for his woman. These days, men have gone full Washington Taterskins when it comes to playing defense. *cue rimshot* The “every night I got to fight to prove my love” (gold star if you got this reference) guy is long gone. Today’s man is more cocky and assume their girl is the sword in the stone only he can yield. I’m not one to play defense, perhaps it’s arrogance but if I’m handling business on my end then there’s nothing to worry about. If my good is not good enough then I picked the wrong one to begin with. If I have to worry about who she with, where she at, where she going, then I ought to worry who I’m with, where we at, where we’re going? People are loyal to a fault, relationships are optional if you’re that uncomfortable, leave, you don’t need evidence or a conviction by a jury of their peers. Confrontation is never a good look, only thing that can come from it is getting your ass kicked or playing yourself. I’ve gotten calls/texts from guys asking about my relationship with their lady, whether there was or wasn’t something going on they already are losing…badly. There’s nothing more demoralizing than having someone else reassure you that your lady is being faithful. Okay, there is one thing, and that’s getting your ass kicked by the same guy who is slaying your queen.

Women these days are much more defensive minded. It’s a point of pride, we all know somebody who know somebody who’s fighting tooth and nail for an ain’t sh t guy because she’ll be damned to “lose” him to her. Where men are arrogant, women are not as much, they guard the stone for which the stone is stuck from even insects, not on their watch will anyone take what should be assumed as theirs. The sidechick doesn’t even have to actually exist, the mere idea of one is enough to keep some women on their toes. I’ve had girlfriends step to neighbors, coworkers, exes online, just to make sure that her presence was felt. As far as confrontation, they’ve picked up where men left off, they take up arms for their man. Look no farther than the Sharkeisha video…started over some guy who she’ll probably never think about 3 years from now. You see women having kids to keep men around, forgiving infidelity just to be able to have him come home to her, you can’t help but wonder if it’s more about him or them.

As partners, men and women have limited patience with s/o’s who insist on playing defense more often than not to the detriment of their own offense. She’s worried about whose pictures he likes on instagram, oblivious to the fact he’s unhappy about a lack of communication. He’s so worried about her “work husband” he doesn’t even realize she’s fed up with his drinking. This goes back to my previous point, if you’re doing what you’re supposed to do, there’s nothing to worry about on your end. In relationships, the best defense is a good offense. You know what they say, what you won’t do…

-Stan-

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