Tag Archives: hate

Today’s Word is… SNAPCHAT

I have a love/hate relationship with Snapchat.  Sure, the idea of a taking a picture with a puppy filter or spending time creating a cartoon versions of yourself is fairly puerile. At least,  that part at least speaks to the layer of corniness that lies within me.  I’m not one of those weird people who hate filters because how dare someone look more attractive in a picture they took themselves for public consumption.   I enjoy watching other people’s “stories”, Sunday morning is perhaps the best time, the people I follow tend to have…eventful Saturday nights, while I’m a child of God. (who watches ratchet snaps on Sunday mornings… I’m just a person).  As for what I hate… I mean besides the massive battery drain, really creepy snap map feature, and the false sense of security that is a “disappearing” snap that anyone with a jailbroken/rooted device and see and keep forever?  Ironically, it was the same thing I love about Sunday morning. 

It happened when went out the other night and found myself on the wrong side of the snap, everyone snapping themselves and no one really dancing.  Then the few who were, now they are being snapped.  I’m sure your curated snaps are lit but as someone who was there in real lif,  I was bored cuz everyone wanted to snap that Bodak Yellow was playing instead of dance to it. Gone are the days when you had to rely on the club photographer who takes the sweaty high res picture that is never as flattering as you thought it was that night.  Even just a quick few group pics, now everyone is damn Spielberg.  Doing a public service that no one asked for.  Everyone doesn’t need to be “there”.  I just watched a video of Steph Curry making fun of LeBron at a wedding and my first thought was, (lightskinneds have no couth) and the second was, you were a guest at that man’s wedding B, who raised you?  Or is that just the voyeuristic society we live in now. 

What is the point of paying for a concert that you gonna record for free?  Do people realize that dark clubs and deep bass don’t make for quality content?  So not only are you killing the vibe but then the snaps aren’t even coming out worth a damn.  (Also, how haven’t skrip clubs banned phones somehow, it feels like I shouldn’t be seeing half the shit I be seeing…again, just a person).   Why can’t I post an old picture without Snapchat telling everyone that it’s a 2 week old picture, why you so loud, Snapchat damn?  Is your relationship even real if you never make the snap? Apparently not.  Why do I sound so old right now? Gross. 

I mean, I’m not THAT much different.  I have a Snapchat, a Twitter, a Facebook, an Instagram, and a blog… I operate with a heavy inclination that people give a fuck. It speaks to the narcissistic society we live in now.  We document our lives in spite of the fact that most of our lives don’t warrant daily coverage.  Snapping your drive to work, telling some 17 part confessional most people just going to skip, the need to post content when there isn’t anything worth posting.  On vacation, celebrating, having a fun night then by all means take pictures, capture moments, share your world…in moderation.  Maybe Snapchat needs a limit, like after 5 snaps it should tell you to log off and enjoy the moment. Or maybe its just some shit I might be a little too old to understand.  I still don’t even know how the score thing works.  


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Filed under Oh, Internet, Randomness, Simply Stan

Today’s Word is… GEMINI 

When you tell her, you’re a Gemini…

So my birthday is in 3 weeks (ahem PayPal. Me/AyoTristan …kidding kidding, unless you gon do it), that makes me a Gemini.  I never read that much into astrology, maybe I’d read a horoscope in the newspapers on my morning commute but that was about it.  All I knew was Geminis were two sides, I always viewed it (correctly) as nuanced. It wasn’t until I started dating that I realized Geminis cause people to run for the hills and touch the bridge behind them.  Granted, some of the most notable Geminis include Kanye West and #YallMans so I can see that the property value on Gemini Island isn’t looking too great.  So allow me to try and defend my sign from all from all of these alternative facts because yall don’t have the answers Sway. 

I’ll cop to some of the stereotypes; I think too much, feel too little, bore too easily.  I’ll get an idea and not follow through, because I have another idea I need to follow through on.  I’m susceptible to whirlwind romances, because I’m wooed easily by witty banter.  I’ll tell you it’s fine while planning my actual solution. Whether I’m right or not, you’re probably not going to win an argument with me anyway.  Other ones, not so much.  Geminis are usually considered extroverts, while I’m an INFJ.  (Yes that makes me an intuitive introverted extrovert that adjusts his emotions based on a vibe you may or may not even be aware you’re giving…but I mean, at least I’m smart).  It’s not that I’m unable to be social, it’s moreso its really apparent when I don’t feel like it. (white coworkers however, completely oblivious to this and will continue to make fetch happen) 
The other common misconception is being two faced, when most of the time we are simply adjusting to the situation at hand, very efficiently.  I remember working in sales and being excellent and awful at the same damn time; if you were interested I could sell you anything, if you weren’t…then why was you still here, I could actually be selling to a willing customer.  Being pushy and persistent for the sake of doing so didn’t make much sense to me.  For who, for what? (I didn’t last long in sales). Dating not much different, walk out once and I’ll probably change the locks behind you.  That ability to shut down and move on quickly feels like there wasn’t much investment in the first place, when really its just “okay this is what this is now”,  make the necessary and keep it moving.  I wouldn’t even say I’m hot and cold, I’m hot then cold.  Then maybe lukewarm at best. But you remember how hot this used to be and can’t get used to this, you’re out and now YOU hate geminis because they are wishy-washy.  

Geminis are seen non-committal, simply because when you can see all sides of something, how do you then pick one.  Growing up in a house with 3 sisters, I mastered the art of simply articulating both their points and getting out the way before they realized I didn’t actually give an answer.  Hell, I just did it the other day when my boys got into a LeBron vs Jordan debate.  Depending on the day, time, weather, and what color I’m wearing my answer will probably change.  

So why is there so much hateration, holleration, in the Gemini’s dancery? Is it really just a matter of uncertainty?  Or the idea of being everything to everyone just on its face feels fake and disingenuous. Perhaps it’s the pressure to keep one mentally stimulated… Or maybe y’all just some low bottom haters. 



Filed under Randomness, Simply Stan

Today’s Word is… IRK

I rarely have dreams and when I do they’re either weird, a telltale sign that I’m oversleeping or both. I always say I’m going to write them down before I forget but I say a lot of things. I’m lazy.  But this dream in particular i remember bits and pieces vividly.  It was an outdoor wedding, friends and family all make cameos, it’s my wedding….I think.  I’m either the Groom or a Groomsman, I just remember fumbling a ring around in my pocket, not a wedding band but an engagement ring.  Am I proposing?  Did I get dumped?  I look at the ring, it’s huge diamond and sapphire, that’s “She’s” birthstone, was this…..BEEP.  Dream over, I’m awaken by some jackass honking his horn for a neighbor.  I mean it’s 2013, you couldn’t just text them to come outside, actually get out the car, walk up a few stairs and ring the doorbell, and it’s Sunday, one day I actually get to sleep in.  I hate people like that. 

I check my phone, 3 missed calls, drunk text rant about how I’m not answering, and my phone barely charged.  It’s going to be that type of morning I see.  I go to the gym, which is full of plenty of it’s own annoyances.  Today is going to be unpleasant if only there was something to cheer me up like memes mocking Drake and Miguel Hulk Hogan leg dropping a fan on a live awards show. I complain to my friend, she says I hate everything which couldn’t be farther from the truth.  I don’t hate anything really, things just….irk me. 

Like I don’t hate Fox News, it just irks me
People who applaud at the end of a movie in the theater irk me
Tyler Perry movies irk me
Bandwagon fans irk me
Traffic irks me
Pandora ads that buffer irk me
Flo Rida irks me
“Was that tweet/blog post about me” texts irk me
People who still have ringback tones irk me
Parody twitter pages irk me
Colin Cowherd irks me
People who don’t know the your/you’re difference irk me
Dudes who wear sunglasses in the gym irk me
People who talk to me with headphones in irk me
People who steal my tweets and post them as Facebook statuses irk me
Exes who call me “stranger” irk me
Fake eyelashes irk me
Women who screenshot texts irk me
This colored lipstick trend….well it’s getting there
Supermarket tabloids irk me
Mayonnaise’s whole existence irks me
Strangers on the subway who touch other people’s kids/pets irk me

But you know…besides that….I don’t hate anything.



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Filed under Randomness, Simply Stan, Uncategorized

Today’s Word is… AVAILABILITY

I hate this quote.  I hate whoever thought of it. I hate Tumblr.  I hate the “parody” accounts on Twitter who spew quotes like these. I hate the Baltimore Ravens just because.  The reason I hate the quote is it’s commonly used against me out of context.  “Miss” was good for doing so, but she at least knew that it annoyed me she just liked to be cute.  Others usually use it when I’m too busy for their liking, which instead of taking accountability and realizing maybe they’re making themselves too available, they point the finger at the man.  Geaux figure.

Availability is something that is often overlooked in regards to dating, it seems like people aren’t as available as they like to think they are, others aren’t as unavailable as they think they are.  Ironically enough, I’m talking to one on each end of the spectrum.  In the blue corner, we have “Busy”, a sweet, beautiful woman with enough wit and sarcasm to almost go toe to toe with me. Almost.  I like “Busy”, but she bites off way more than she can chew sometimes, and while her caring nature is one of the things I like about her, it makes her impossible to date.  Interestingly enough, she doesn’t see it that way.  She says I’m not making myself available enough, but one who makes themselves too available usually gets burned in the long run. Like Nnamdi Asomugha on a go route. Alas, the conflict of two people who think they are both making themselves available enough for the other and the other simply isn’t taking advantage of what’s in front of them.  Or maybe our availability struggle is a cleverly disguised game of chicken, where one simply wants to see who gives in first.  Unfortunately, of the many things we have in common, stubbornness is one of them.  I will win eventually, I hope.

I will not be Nnamdi’ed. For the non football fan, he’s #24 who should’ve caught #12 15 yards ago

In the red corner, we have “Lady”, who is a single working mother who always seems to be the one reaching out.  I’ve had my reservations about dating single mothers in the past but I like her so far I’m just not sure how much.  She’s opened up to me a lot, a whole lot that I’m still processing it all.  Part of me feels she just wants a boyfriend and any old guy would do.  I like to think of myself as a catch but she doesn’t know I am yet, she can’t know yet, I haven’t even showed her much yet.  She has a whenever, whereever, whatever schedule where if I called right now she’d probably drop her son off and be right over.  That’s not exactly a plus in my book. I like challenges. When one is too available, it basically leaves another to use them at their own convenience, not like they’re going anywhere.  Writing it out, she might not just be too available just too easy and I’m not about to be the next contestant on that Maury Show screen.

No sir. No me.

I like women who make me work and anticipate but there’s got to be light at the end of the tunnel.  Make me chase you but I’m not going to run forever, shin splints ain’t nothing to f wit.  I can’t deal with an overly available women because we’ll always run into trouble when I can’t give her the time she wants, and overly busy women are just frustrating. On a 1-10 I’d take a 4-6 or even 3 if she’s really fine.

On a 1-10 scale with 1 being the least available, I’d say I’m about a 4.  Depending who else you ask I’m probably a -10. While I’m fairly open I still know that you never want to become the guy that you know is always free.  I can be staring at my phone waiting for you to respond to my text but I refuse to be the guy that texts “???” every 10 minutes (don’t you hate when people do that, like go play Angry Birds or something, i’ll get back to you when I do).  On the other end, you also don’t want to become the guy that’s so unavailable that women think you’re gay, married or Batman. I wasn’t available for a while and some good women slipped by because of it. Single doesn’t always mean available, a lesson I learned the hard way.



Filed under Dating, Love, Simply Stan