Tag Archives: Frank Ocean

Today’s Word is… EMO

I admit my guilty pleasure is “emo” music from the originator Johnny Cash to My Chemical Romance, I dig music of substance, even if it’s sad, heart string pulling music. My guiltier pleasure is emo hip hop, a rising genre now that artists like Drake, Childish Gambino, and Frank Ocean have hit the mainstream.  Considering most rap songs are by people pretending they thugs, pretending they drug kingpins, pretending they rich, emo hip hop at least is real.  However, there’s a soft label that naturally comes attached to vulnerable or emotional men, that seems to be acceptable now.  Before men would simply bottle up emotions or express them through different outlets now they seem to wear them on their sleeve and match the outfit.

Rawr n sh*t


I was the emo guy once; I told you about my first girlfriend. I was shy and awkward around her, I wrote letters, called 12847 times, when she broke up with me, it shattered me, everything reminded me of her, I was a mess. I was also 16 years old.  These days, grown men act like this, and it’s acceptable.  I’m not acting like Mr. Macho now, I still get hurt by women, I’m extremely empathetic and I like cuddling and whatnot.  But I never want to be the guy women just say awww to and want to hug.  That big teddy bear thing was fine in high school, I’m a full grown grizzly now, rawr n sh*t.

On the other end of the spectrum, there’s the emotionally unavailable man.  The man who never cries, never expresses his true feelings, only cares about sex, beer, his teams and bacon, he’s a pitbull to the emo guy’s yorkie terrier.   If you look at most relationship blogs and books, the emotionally unavailable guy is winning, he’s a douche but she wants to change him.  It’s the classic nice guy vs bad boy battle, the bad boy gets the girl the nice guy listens to Led Zeppellin’s “Since I’ve Been Loving You”.


Ultimately, the consensus of women want the guy in the middle.  Now is it easier to get a vulnerable, emotional man to take it down a few notches or get the emotionally unavailable guy to open up?  I’d say the latter simply because no one is so cold and shut down that there’s no way to get through to him.  Sure the emo guy can get it together, hell I did (at least I like to think I did, it’s my blog I can make anything true) but it usually takes a few rejections and some embarrassment at your expense before you learn better.


But I’m sure there’s some emo women out there who wants a man just as in tune with her emotions as she is, there’s also some cold women who want a man who doesn’t seem to care about anything, but the world doesn’t work like that, the emotional guys fall for the stoic women, the stoic guys keep getting the emotional women.  The ones in the middle, we chill.



Filed under Relationships

Today’s Word is… SPURNED


When I first came up with a concept for this blog, there were some particular words I had in mind.  “Love” was the big one.  Is there any word more loosely defined than love?  To some love is simply a deep, intense, euphoric feeling for someone; others believe the extreme biblical definition.  I think we all pick and choose our own interpretations and conveniently apply it to situations.  In fact, love is almost too big to cover in one post.  I’ll break it down and cover different misinterpretations of love,alas the first, SPURNED. *cue Frank Ocean –Bad Religion* (ll)

I remember the first time I told a girl I loved her, it was only about 7 years ago.  To be honest I don’t think I did, I just felt like it was a natural progression in a relationship when you tell one so.  We were sitting on her porch and I was going on about all the colleges I got accepted to, how we would make a long distance relationship work, maybe she can move out there and find a community college nearby. (not as condescending as it sounds, she wasn’t the most dedicated student, we attended different high schools yet I did her work and my work #atthesamedamntime).  She grew silent and I felt like it was the perfect time to reassure her.  I told her, she sat up straight, kissed me and told me she loved me too.  I looked in her big brown eyes and knew she just lied to me.  Perhaps I had just lied to her prior, but we just went with it.  I cared about her; she was the first girl to really show me any type of love,  at the time I didn’t think I was doing much better probably why I went above and beyond trying to keep her around.  I tried to use “love” as an excuse but deep down I knew better.  I never loved her, probably because all gifts, homework, and gestures aside, she didn’t feel the same about me.

This wasn’t common, over the years I found myself giving my all into girls who didn’t feel the same.  Especially one, let’s call her senora (even though she was black as me).  Senora was almost like a female version of me, except much more attractive.  She was a bit more outgoing than I; however she knew exactly how to get me out of my shell.  I found myself liking senora more and more but I didn’t feel confident in myself to win her, so I lied; a lot.  I found myself telling two lies and truth (contradicted my past a lot but I guess she never paid me enough attention before to notice), but it was working, I felt myself rising out of the friend zone. I then started to feel some type of way, I was falling for her but was she falling for me?  If so, which one, her friend Tristan who always been around or this new fictional character? I figured I could tell her the truth and she’ll love me anyway, I mean it worked for Aladdin. At this point, we were seeing each other frequently and I figured before we took things further I come clean.  Duck Fisney, she didn’t want anything to do with me.

Jasmine forgives, Senora Don’t.

For the next year, I projected her to be my one, my true love, the one that got away…that was until I met “Her”, my first true love.  “Her” made me look back and realize I was just throwing the word around. I still love “her” although we’ve come to terms that we can’t be, but shouldn’t love conquer all?  That would bring me to misinterpretation #2…on another day.



Filed under Love, Relationships, Simply Stan