Tag Archives: fitness

Today’s Word is… WEIGHT

I’m talking with “coworker” and she says she wants me to help her lose weight.  I personally try to steer clear of this, one because I’m in no way shape or form a weight loss expert, I lost weight but I also got A’s in Calculus, now it looks like a foreign language to me.  “I only really wanna lose like 10 lbs, just like my stomach and thighs” I’m completely uninterested at this point. “Coworker” got a sneaky hot body already so maybe this is just one of her ploys to talk to me more after her whole incident at the mixer.  But aside from that I get annoyed when people talk about losing weight and only cite certain areas.  It’s become a pet peeve of mines.  Actually a lot of things have, in regards to diet and fitness.  There’s so much misinformation out there that even a self proclaimed non expert like myself can’t help but be like wtf???

I’ve tried them all at some point. I’ve popped a Xenadrine  i’m sweating….WOO. Teas, shakes, 6 meals a day, fasting, heavy lifting, light lifting, AM workouts, PM workouts, cheat days, cheat weeks, strict clean eating, 2000 calories a day, 1400 a day…at the end of the day I’m 83 lbs lighter (Yes still I have yet to lose a pound in 2013 give or take fluctuations) and have no idea why.  I guess that’s more a testament to how really unjustifiably bad I was before. However if there was anything I’ve learned so far….

Pay for quality– I’m notoriously cheap.  I thought I could run 3 miles in my old Air Forces, homemade cleanses work as well as any one their selling, the green coffee bean extract pills on EBay are probably legit like store brand cereals, Planet Fitness is a quality gym for the price #shots.  All wrong, Well PF is cool if you find a decent one.

Accountability– No, it’s not all water weight, no muscle doesn’t weigh more than fat, and you know Damn Well that wasn’t a 400 calorie meal you ate.  These were all things I had to accept at some point.  I remember when I got under 250 you couldn’t tell me anything, next thing you know I was 265 again.  Sometimes we get in our own way.

Challenge Yourself– Even way back in the day when I went to the Y with my friends, my favorite machine was the leg press.  I had strong legs, when all else failed I would leg press 500, 600, I even had a school gym record of 900 lbs(someone would top it at 1000, he was on PEDs I’m still convinced),  I couldn’t do much else but that was where I owned.  Yet I couldn’t do proper squats or lunges.  I could do an hour on the elliptical but only jog in 2-3 minute intervals. I wasn’t pushing myself and the scale/tape showed it.  Dropping to 10 lbs in a month was cool, deadlifting 10 more lbs than I weighed that week was cooler.

And most importantly…

Results may vary– The reason I never care to give advice is because what works/doesn’t work for me might not have the same effect on someone else. For every rule of thumb one has I bet there’s 50 articles debunking it,  Running vs Jogging, whole eggs vs egg whites, strength vs cardio, short workouts vs long workouts in essence nobody really knows. Only thing that’s the consensus is watch what you eat and get off your behind. Well unless Sensa and Lipozene apparently they’re miracle burners. #moreshots

riiiiiiight

-Stan-

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Today’s Word is… PLATEAU

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Weight loss update: I’m exactly where I was month ago. D’oh.  I actually did great on Thanksgiving, it was the entire week following it.  I blame egg nog, cheesecake and Domino’s pan pizza.  But what’s done is done and it’s time to get back on track for this finally stretch.  27 lbs in 28 days is utterly impossible (maybe 213 in 2013?, 14 lbs in 4 weeks, is about what 3 lbs a week, yeah maybe thats pushing it as well) so in this final stretch it’s time to get as close to 200 as possible.  Whatever Brandy, almost does count. But first I need to bust out of this plateau… (is it considered a plateau if you lost weight in 2 weeks, gained more back and lost that again to coincidentally break even…I don’t care I’m not changing my word anyway). So alas my plan going forward  get past this plateau and move put more energy to other phases of my life that sucks, you know like the love life, career, lack of network, etc.  To make it easier to remember (and probably a lot harder to write) I’ll name the steps after Jay-Z songs/lines. After all, it is Jigga Day tomorrow, yes Jigga day is an actual day.  I’m not a stan tho.

What Would Jigga Do

What Would Jigga Do

“I will not lose”- The obvious one. I cannot get disheartened.  Granted I expected to be done by now, 100 lbs in 9 months is totally doable according to the internet, maybe because I never actually buy the plans that they plug at the end of the articles. Shrug life.

 A Week Ago ft Too Short- It really was all good just a week ago.  I had conquered the Thinsgiving challenge, I had actually lost weight, so what happened, hubris met hungry.   I started to eat larger portions, ordered out twice, figured I would just burn it off.  Then things came up I wasn’t able to make it to the gym, I walk 2 miles a day but that wasn’t exactly making up for the extra amount I was eating.  Obviously, I can’t do this anymore, can’t allow myself to get cocky now I’m not finished yet.

“Get ya weight up…not ya hate up”– Lifting heavy versus lifting light is a battle as old as left Twix versus right Twix.  There’s benefits to both, lifting heavy builds more muscle which burns more at rest.  Lifting light leads to larger burns during the actual workout. Simple solution do both, focus on getting the most reps at my max weight.  Honestly it’s something I regret not keeping better track of before

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Run this Town ft Kanye West & Rihanna- I need to start running again.  I’ve beat the elliptical to a pulp over the past 9 months, my body is probably too used to it.  Running presents a much needed change of pace even though I’m woefully flat footed and Wu Shin Splints aint nothing to f*** wit.   It’s too cold to run outside (I seriously don’t get how people do it), and I hate treadmills..I’ll figure it out.

“You starting to look like bread”- I tried to cut carbs, but it be calling me.  Carbs make me really lazy, pasta especially, thus not hitting the gym, thus gaining weight.  It also makes me look puffy no Diddy.

At least he's exercising...

At least he’s exercising…

Can I get A… ft Amil & Ja Rule- No more ordering out for real this time.  It’s convenient when I don’t want to wash dishes, forgot to thaw something, etc

Change Clothes ft Pharell- Perhaps the biggest inconvenience of all is that I only fit about 30% of my wardrobe.  I wore a 2x, but probably had even bigger because I didn’t want to look bigger than I already was (it doesn’t make sense but it does).  I’m down to a large (can even pull off ‘slim fit’ clothes although its not really my taste) and all my old clothes are going to be a hefty tax deduction.  So in essence I can’t go back, the bridge is burned.  If that’s not a motivation tactic, I don’t know what is.

So on that note, we’ll see what happens in a month.   Cool, awesome, bye.

-Stan-

 

 

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