Tag Archives: facebook

Today’s Word is… PRIVACY

[The following is a repost from about a year ago, an oldie but goodie with a few added thoughts, enjoy]

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The "I just found his blog" face

A little while back, Twitter quietly enabled a feature to download your own archives, every tweet you have ever sent there at your disposal.  Now I’m an admitted Twitter lover, I’ve had mines for over 4 years (5 now), about 30,000 tweets (41,000 which is about 8000 year, 21 a day, thats actually not THAT bad) to my credit.  It also serves as a snapshot of my life, my words, my thoughts as I grew and mature.  Some of it, I look back and laugh, others merely shake my head.  Notably a very public spat with “Her” that wasn’t a good look for either of us.  As time progressed and Twitter itself became more popular, more people I knew in real life started logging on and naturally I dialed back a little.  Not that I was essentially being someone that I was not, but rather there were traits I rather not have highlighted.  When I started this blog, I was going to make an accompanying twitter account but I thought better of it.  Like Facebook and Twitter before it, I didn’t want to once again have to worry about censorship or saying things here I would have to explain later.  I feel we are all entitled to some sort of privacy, something that’s is all but lost in a social media era.  

So there’s a girl, let’s call her “Special”, (met a new girl, shes not as special but ironically the same convo came up, as for Special, idk we just….stopped.) Anyway, now me and special are talking, she mentions something on instagram,

“Are you on instagram”
“Yeah”
“What’s your name”
“Tristan”

I mean she could’ve been more specific, but seriously there is a method to my madness.  Any person I’m considering seriously dating, complete social media blackout, don’t friend, follow, poke, like, tag, me.  I don’t have anything to hide but there’s nothing for you to see.  This was an easier sell than I even thought, perhaps because by now we all know somebody who has or personally have had a relationship end because of social media.  People are flirts, keyboard gangsters, their profiles are able to be access but hundreds or even thousands *fixes tie* of people, no one wants to embarrassed, that high road looks a little too high for my taste.   Ultimately she agreed.  It was too easy….maybe she has something to hide. (New girl only has professional social accounts, or so she says)

That’s what makes this a double edged sword.  Who knows what she posts?  Who knows if she just gonna just be Googling me anyway?  If she finds something she doesn’t like can I get off per the 4th amendment?  To answer my own questions, I don’t care. I don’t need to see thirsty negroes posting “damn ma” on her pictures (okay I might’ve snuck a peek and it wasn’t me it was a friend who wanted to see who she was). I don’t say anything on my social networks that would get me in trouble and everyone knows women don’t believe in illegal search and seizure, will break in your house, steal your tablet and then have something to say about a Facebook message she saw. 

Perhaps privacy should’ve always been the alternative, “She” was on all my sites and every tweet felt like I was on the first episode of “Martin”, I told “Miss” about the blog as my friend, now she’s a jilted lover who loves to hate to love to hate reading.  Exes before that had the passwords and everything.  Social media blackout….this might could work.

-Stan-             
 
       

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Filed under Dating, Relationships, Simply Stan

Today’s Word is… FACEBOOK

I couldn’t go through with it.  I don’t know why I can’t kill it, it does nothing for me now.  People like to say keeping in touch but I have 8 siblings, a phone, and Twitter, if someone really can’t reach me it’s clearly them not trying.  I almost killed it back in 2008 when I was just going through a lot, again last year when I had way too much of my personal life being broadcasted both times I put my gun away.  This time I’m just bored with it. Why can’t I seem to shake this site I don’t even use?  Maybe because I’ve had it for so long…

I met Facebook back in college, it was first day of ugrad and after wandering about around campus I ran into this cute girl and we really hit it off.   I didn’t know what “Facebook Me” meant but if it was a way to get closer to her, I had my roommate introduce me to it.  We hit if off perfect, it was  the perfect complement to campus life.  It was a scrapbook of sorts, every name and face I encountered I could look up on Facebook and find out everything I needed to know. I had a feeling me and Facebook was going to have a beautiful friendship.

And we did, for six long years, we pulled through midterms, finals, ugly public breakups, deaths, births, hirings, firings, drama and boredom.  At 18, I loved Facebook, it was your every day life conveniently in one place.  All your memories captured in photographs, your thoughts stated in statuses for hundreds to see, your friends at the click of a mouse.  At 24, I hate Facebook, it’s your every day life conveniently in one place.  It’s no longer the cute girl from Econ class you want to know more about, it’s your coworker you don’t like and don’t want in your business.  There’s no looking around trying to find something to get into tonight, it’s a bunch of club promos.  Your audience isn’t a bunch of students, now it’s parents, childhood friends  and coworkers and vice versa, you’re no longer reading statuses about class and drama on campus, it’s about what Aunt Deb made for dinner and you have to cringe as you read a family members status talking about the “odacity of bumb bi***es”

The expanded audience made Facebook fat, then it had a bunch of ugly kids.  It’s first, the annoying apps.  It constantly send requests no matter how many times you elect to block all requests.  It was cute when it was just UNO and Texas Hold Em, but then it went through a clingy phase where games simply never ended and kept tricking people into asking their “friends” for help like Facebook itself isn’t full of people who actually don’t care about you or your farm.  The other ugly kid was the realization that I simply don’t care anymore.  Most of my friends list I will never see again, have a good life.  The ones I do see, I don’t care because I actually see them and can talk to them outside of the Matrix.  Or I still don’t care.  Anyway.

As much as Facebook sucks now, I highly doubt it’s ending  like Myspace.  People go on Facebook to read tweets, shared articles/blog posts, play 3rd party games and look at instagram photos.  Facebook is pretty much an online storage space.  Zuckerburg seriously gets paid for nothing now, he’s like a real life Bruce Wayne.   As insignificant as it seems, I just can’t seem to give up my small piece of internet real estate. It has my pictures, remembers birthdays and when I need a good laugh I can surely find one at another’s expense.

-Stan-

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Today’s Word is… UNDERRATED

Soul.

I have 6078 songs on iTunes. Cool story, Stan.  It’s a random collection of mixtapes, albums, and songs other people downloaded to put on their phones but never deleted (I find that extremely rude by the way, its like using someones bathroom and not flushing).  With over 6000 songs it’s hard to pick one to just listen to randomly, so I usually just throw on shuffle and let iTunes figure it out for me.  So as I listen to music go from rock, to dancehall, to rap, to pop, my ears perk up when I hear one song.  It’s untitled (another pet peeve of mines, i have my itunes organized then people download randomness and throws it off), it’s a guy sounds like Dwele, I whip out my phone and shazam it, it is Dwele, I actually had the song already so she had no reason to download it -__-.  But anyway it got me into a soul vibe, lyricism, smooth instrumentals, powerful voices…no fist pumping, no Skrillex, no enhanced vocals. Soul is such an underrated genre.

Like with my overrated post, when I say underrated I’m not saying that other people don’t like it or that it’s even that great. But like neo-soul music, it doesn’t get as much credit as it ought.

Skinny Women- It’s almost a double standard skinny women are often vilified for simply being skinny. While I can say I typically go for thicker women, I wouldn’t say they are the end all be all. Skinny women need love too. Just keep that stomach flat tho, no need for 6 pack abs. Bleh.

Phone Calls- Something about actually calling someone and hearing their voice that seems much more personal.  Texting is too synonymous with multitasking very rarely am I sitting and waiting for your message, I’m probably doing something else (or talking to someone else).  Skype is fun but i get tired of staring at your cleavage the screen and its not like i can look away you’re watching me.

Drawing- Before silly tee shirts, and muttering funny one liners, drawing was my way to meet girls.  Even in college when everyone had out laptops pretending to take notes, I would sit next to a cute girl and doodle away and wait for her to notice.  Now in an era where pencil and paper are becoming endangered species, I still will find time to draw.  Speaking of, this 30 in 30 blog challenge completely took over my #sketchbooksundays on Instagram.

Guess I’m a dog then…cuz…umm…

Stretching- It’s not just a way for women to be subtly sexy, it’s important for everyone to stretch. It’s amazing how many times you go to the gym, see a guy bench press 300 then need the wall to support him as he kneels to tie his sneaker.  I might not lay out a mat and do yoga but I do stretch all the time, throughout the workday and at the gym.

Tap Water- I go to the grocery store and buy two cases of water every month (and Mitt Romney smirk if they forget to ring it) but even then when I run out I turn to good ol tap water.  It kills me how many people act too good for tap water like they don’t bathe, brush their teeth and make ice with it.

Bob’s Burgers- Easily the funniest show on Fox Sunday, well besides when the Cowboys are playing (shots shots…shots shots shots…shots)

Student Discounts- I will continue to use any and all student discounts until I look too damn old to get away with it.  I still want to enroll in a school this month and claim it on my taxes.  HOPE credit for the muhfuggin win!!!!

QWERTY keyboards- I’ve been eligible for an upgrade since July (yes my longest relationships are now Facebook (6 yrs), Twitter (2.5 years) and Sprint (2 years) tragic) but I wont use it because there’s absolutely no new phones with a keyboard.  I own a tablet, I don’t need a mini etch and sketch sized phone to watch movies on and draw clown hair on LeBron’s picture. And Text to Speech isnt as great as you think, I can’t tell my phone to play Kanye West because Google keeps putting Conyay

Anything Handwritten- I drew up a concept for my tattoo; its centered around my mother’s actual signature (i actually revealed this at Thanksgiving now my sister wants it, we gon have problems).  What’s more artistic that something written from your own hand, especially in this Matrix age where they don’t even teach cursive anymore so I feel my whole 2nd grade education was a sham.  When “Ms” had her internship in Thailand (before we crashed and burned) I suggested we write each other as well, it seemed more personal than a gmail or a skype.  Letters are not just for soldiers and convicts.

Dry Cleaners- I love my local dry cleaners.  It’s pretty much my favorite thing about the town besides the ice cream parlor. I take my coats in before the winter, my track jackets and hoodies before the spring.  They come out looking as good as new.  When I need something tailored, I do my laundry and a stain didn’t get out to my liking, or I just need to know my new jacket size, I go to my cleaners.  I swear I’ma buy that place.

Honorable Mentions: Blog comments, Books, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, dating single mothers, Ciara, egg yolks, fitness walking, sweaters, cats, 12pm dates, Facebook (yes facebook), Fabolous, thrift stores, the fact that while rappers steadily pushing failed clothing lines and record labels, Dr. Dre made $110M off headphones

What I miss? Sound off below?

-Stan-

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Today’s Word is… GOODBYE

The last words my mother ever said to me “Love You”.   At my sister’s urging, I had left school to visit her at the hospice, she had been there the day before, she told me I needed to get there ASAP.  I was confused, just three weeks ago she was giving me money for books for the upcoming semester, I knew she wasn’t 100% but she was fine last I seen.  The sight of her was shocking, her once plump frame now frail, color drained from her chocolate skin, her loud, assertive tone replaced by a faint whisper.  It was a lot to take in, I had to excuse myself a few times to cry, I hated seeing her like this, I knew she hated being like this.  My sister called and told me since I was there to get her ID she needed it for some documents.  I brought my mother her purse, she smirked a little, “a man never goes in a woman’s purse” she always told me.  She passed me her wallet, “I don’t have any money for you” she murmurs, same old Ma.  I get her ID out and I see a photo of her, I didn’t have any wallet sized photos of her so I took it.  We sat and watched Judge Judy until I noticed her falling asleep, I told her I was taking off, I kissed her on her forehead and she says “Love You”.  The next morning, I was on my way back and I got my wallet out to pay for the train, I look at her picture and I get a strange feeling.  A few moments later, I get a phone call, she’s gone.

The remainder of that day was almost a blur, I took my first shot at 9 o’clock that morning, I’m in my old neighborhood sitting on the swings waiting for someone to come get me.   Still very intoxicated, I pull out my blackberry and start writing a Facebook note.  Just getting all my feelings out, I was angry at the hospice, angry at myself, angry at her, angry at “Madame” who didn’t come with me, angry at my friends who didn’t reach out, it was a mess.  Luckily, I was too out of it to actually post it, the following day, I still intended to post but I seen a sign that made me start fresh.  Three years ago today, I wrote this:

It’s amazing how one can find solace in the strangest things. As I try to understand why God has chosen to take my mother so soon, I seen a sign that said “Thank You Sen. Kennedy”. And when I think about it I have yet to see an RIP Teddy or We’ll miss You sign always thank you.Instead of mourning people look back on his years of service and are thankful for his commitment. Now my mother wasn’t a senator but her life should be celebrated and those who mourn are also gratituous. In 27 years of motherhood, she raised 3 girls to 3 women, 2 boys to 2 men. She also was a mother to neighbors, friends and classmates. She has had more jobs than I can think of but always a mother and a mentor through and through.But whats ultimately her legacy is ______, _____ , ______, ______ and myself. Her gifts to society, the torch she passes on. we may have lost her but we are not lost without her. Mother, I thank you. Your destiny’s fulfilled

I felt better. It was the first time in a long time writing actually made me feel better.  Even being upset today, I thought writing everything out would make me feel better again at least temporarily.  Mixed results.

-Stan-

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Filed under Love, Simply Stan

Today’s Word is… COMMUNICATION

I love social media.  It’s directly catered to someone like me: moderately attractive, quirky one liners, constantly looking at cleavage not trying to get noticed. However I’m really particular about what I say on there, I have to provide some incentive to get to know me.  I’m the same with text messaging, I have to provide some incentive to hang out with me. Nothing against either; they’re fun, convenient but *passes mic to Justin Timberlake* “Ayo I’m tired of using technology, I need you right here in front of  me”. To be honest, communication has become a lost art.  It’s not just technology, but people are so caught up reading statuses and tweets they forget that behind the computer or smartphone there’s an actual person they could be talking to.

Awkward.

TEXTING

For this reason, I don’t like texting very much.  Sometimes we get caught up with words on a screen and I want you to remember that behind all these nice words and emojis, there’s a man.  A man you can hang with, converse with, sleep with.  Also I’m distracted easily, we can be engaged in great conversation but then I get a notification that someone just dropped a 7 letter word on my ass. tee tee why el.  On another note if im fully engaged in text conversation, i’m going to text other people at the same time. I’m sure you’re probably doing the same thing as well.  That’s the other reason I dislike texting, if I’m talking to you I want to feel as though I have your attention.  Perhaps I do; but I can’t know for sure and I’m left to assume, and you know what they say about one who assumes, when you assume, you’re on a social network.

Stay Schemin…

SOCIAL NETWORKS

My Facebook, like my Ayo Technology reference, is very dated.  I have the same profile I had in 2006 my Freshman year, back when Facebook was cool and my grandparents weren’t the first people to like my photos.  There’s very little to go on there, a couple of pictures with exes, the timeline feature thankfully only shows snippets and my statuses are few and far between.  In fact, “Miss” noted how drama free my Facebook was, she was disappointed.

My Twitter provides a little more insight.  However, its mostly musings.  I’m not one to say “oh its just Twitter”, because musings or not, they are still my words; I stand by them, I guarantee them, like Frank Lucas stands behind “Blue Magic”.  When I do get personal it’s usually in a subliminal form, perhaps the pettiest yet hilarious way to talk about someone.  However, many make the mistake of judging me from what I say on Twitter but essentially they’re getting cliff notes, to know me you’re going to have to read the book.

This blog has so far gotten personal, and so far its already backfired.  Yes it’s only been 24 hours and “Safe” is biting in my behind.  “Ms” stumbled upon the blog, actually I was just shamelessly promoting it on another site.  Now she’s wants nothing to do with me, perplexing because there’s nothing I wrote that I hadn’t brought to her attention prior.  Nonetheless I’m over it, well not actually but pride will not let me chase this woman again.  It’s exhausting.  Hopefully, when dust settles we can have a healthy conversation but probably won’t happen.  Well That’s communication now, text rants, snooping, and lack of active listening.

-Stan-

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