Tag Archives: entitlement

Today’s Word is… ENTITLED

I always abhorred the idea of “men are dogs”. Men are trash… Well, we’ll get to that one another day. The idea of a man being a dog though, I always found to be simplistic. It’s the logic of the Steve Harveyisms of the world, a man don’t know no better he must be taught like a dog, good deed for treat. Give him too many treats and he becomes spoiled and now doesn’t know how to act. Don’t give him treats at all, he’ll leave. Either way whatever this grown ass adult does will be your fault. Plenty of men also accepted this logic as fact and so they are raised that the only incentive to court, listen or even just respect women is for a “treat”. Primary incentive to being successful, is for a “treat”. It’s why President H.W. Bush is well into his 90s and doesn’t see why groping women and calling himself David Cop-a-feel is wrong. It’s why President Dotard thinks it’s okay to grab them by the pussy. It’s why President Underwood feels empowered to sexually assault staff on set. (and teenage boys) It’s why President Clinton… (let’s be real here you KNOW a story is coming). They aren’t able to process being told no because they’ve excelled at their craft, received power and influence and therefore are entitled to treats. Woof.

What I find most baffling is like, I know better. I always knew better. And I’m not special. I didn’t need to take a feminism course in college, have a daughter or get dragged by the internet 18 times in my 30s to know better. I just know right and wrong and respect people. Sadly, that’s not as common as I thought it was. Even if I hit for a lick I can’t see how I would ever be so comfortable just whipping it out and masterbating in front of strangers or groping my Twitter followers at a day party.

It’s a new day, now. Even as society (slowly) progresses and proceeds to get all of these creepy dudes up out the paint (except the Dolt45 apparently)…I find myself wondering aloud:

Men don’t know how to process a “reward” from a woman that isn’t sexual.

It’s why so many struggle with the idea of a platonic female friend. They lament the idea of a friend zone because it flies in the face of the logic they were raised on. I’m… Nice to you and you don’t…want to see my dick?404 Error. It’s why so many men struggle with holding a conversation with a woman without flirting. (okay I do this but really it’s because there don’t be shit else to talk about) “What do you bring to the table besides sex” is a common quip but most won’t even notice the new plate setting. The women in their life nurture or fuck them or a mix of them both.

It also speaks to modern dating and being unwilling to put forth any effort to anything that isn’t going to be worth while. It’s something I found myself struggling with at one point…I show interest by courting, she showed interest by affection. After a few dates if there wasn’t any of the sort, I took the curve and went home. Then over time, I met the girl who just wanted sex and company, the girl who “wouldn’t be here if she didn’t like me”, the girl who loved me but didn’t want to be with me. Like…. None of this was in the manual. I was told by apple care that sex was the closer. But it isn’t. For some it might be, others you just caught her on a good night. It would be like if women were individuals who you should treat as such and not just assume they all kick it the same way. Otherwise, you go decades thinking your David Cop-a-feel joke still kills because it worked one time 30 years ago. But maybe, that’s too much like right.

-Stan-

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Filed under Dating, In the News..., Simply Stan, Uncategorized

Today’s Word is… LOYAL

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So you not taking that pay cut?

So because its summer and my Red Sox are flat out depressing to watch, I been investing all my energy into keeping up with NBA Free Agency.  What I find fascinating about it all, well besides the numbers, tax implications, evaluating contracts (after all I did go to school for sports management) is the all the guilt tripping the media, teams and fans are trying to do. Its easy for a fan to want their favorite player to stay on their favorite team even if that team has no chance in winning; or for a GM to come out publicly and try to shame a star for getting the most money they can,  or ESPN to have a roundtable discussion about legacies and loyalty.  Its all exploitative.  Free agents should be able to do whatever they wish without having to feel bad about how much they got paid or the fans they leave behind, that’s the point of being free.  These pros ain’t loyal, and they shouldn’t be.  LeBron James is as obligated to take a pay cut as a single person is to be faithful to someone they aren’t with. 

Whether its the one they broke up with 3 weeks ago, an e bae, workspouse, parent of their child, someone they just smashing, there’s always someone who assumes loyalty without doing the one thing that assumes loyalty which is enter a monogamous relationship.  Instead again they guilt their way out of it “if he/she was serious they wouldn’t be still dating”, “don’t ask ‘what are we'”, and of course calling them a heaux for doing what all single people do.   Hell, even people in a relationship have complete freedom to walk away from a bad situation but usually they don’t, even when they have a plethora of reasons to.  These “pros” ain’t loyal.  Loyalty has became more of a weakness than the strength its implicates.  We don’t choose self as often as we ought to.

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That’s not to say loyalty isn’t appreciated at all, I just don’t see it as a pre-requisite to a relationship.  I wouldnt want a woman to be all about me while I’m still single. She’s “building trust and loyalty” that I’m not sure she’ll cash in on, so its like taking home tickets from the arcade that’s closing in a week. (Sidebar you notice how you never have enough tickets for anything you actually want except a slinky….conspiracy I say) I think when we’re content that “loyalty” comes anyway, but to flat out expect it, once again shows a lack of accountability.  I could never ask someone I’m talking to, or just entertaining to amnesty everyone else for me without actually asking for a relationship.  Of course, no one wants someone they care about basking in the affections of another but that’s the way it should be, claim or forfeit.  But things never are that simple, no matter how much I try to make it be.  This prose ain’t loyal.

-Stan-

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Filed under Dating, Love, Relationships, Simply Stan, Sports