I admit my guilty pleasure is “emo” music from the originator Johnny Cash to My Chemical Romance, I dig music of substance, even if it’s sad, heart string pulling music. My guiltier pleasure is emo hip hop, a rising genre now that artists like Drake, Childish Gambino, and Frank Ocean have hit the mainstream. Considering most rap songs are by people pretending they thugs, pretending they drug kingpins, pretending they rich, emo hip hop at least is real. However, there’s a soft label that naturally comes attached to vulnerable or emotional men, that seems to be acceptable now. Before men would simply bottle up emotions or express them through different outlets now they seem to wear them on their sleeve and match the outfit.
I was the emo guy once; I told you about my first girlfriend. I was shy and awkward around her, I wrote letters, called 12847 times, when she broke up with me, it shattered me, everything reminded me of her, I was a mess. I was also 16 years old. These days, grown men act like this, and it’s acceptable. I’m not acting like Mr. Macho now, I still get hurt by women, I’m extremely empathetic and I like cuddling and whatnot. But I never want to be the guy women just say awww to and want to hug. That big teddy bear thing was fine in high school, I’m a full grown grizzly now, rawr n sh*t.
On the other end of the spectrum, there’s the emotionally unavailable man. The man who never cries, never expresses his true feelings, only cares about sex, beer, his teams and bacon, he’s a pitbull to the emo guy’s yorkie terrier. If you look at most relationship blogs and books, the emotionally unavailable guy is winning, he’s a douche but she wants to change him. It’s the classic nice guy vs bad boy battle, the bad boy gets the girl the nice guy listens to Led Zeppellin’s “Since I’ve Been Loving You”.
Ultimately, the consensus of women want the guy in the middle. Now is it easier to get a vulnerable, emotional man to take it down a few notches or get the emotionally unavailable guy to open up? I’d say the latter simply because no one is so cold and shut down that there’s no way to get through to him. Sure the emo guy can get it together, hell I did (at least I like to think I did, it’s my blog I can make anything true) but it usually takes a few rejections and some embarrassment at your expense before you learn better.
But I’m sure there’s some emo women out there who wants a man just as in tune with her emotions as she is, there’s also some cold women who want a man who doesn’t seem to care about anything, but the world doesn’t work like that, the emotional guys fall for the stoic women, the stoic guys keep getting the emotional women. The ones in the middle, we chill.