Tag Archives: disrespect

Today’s Word is… EXCEPTION


One of my biggest turn offs is when a woman is too hard on an ex.  We all love and lose but there’s nothing attractive about a lack of coping skills. Eventually, I’m not going to be the shiny new red ball in her life and if she can’t respect the previous men in her life, I’ll assume she won’t respect me.  I think in essence we are all who we attract and while we all might have a blemish or two on our dating resumes eventually its time to look at the common denominator.  To that same extent, no matter how the relationship ended, you’ll never hear a disparaging word about someone I loved.  I don’t need to my current to even think twice about my ex, let alone hate her.  Yet it seems I’m in the minority in that regard because between R&Buckfoy dominating the airwaves or Captain Save Ems carpe DMing women right after they spent the last hour bad mouthing the last dude, people don’t care about respect for others provided they are respected.  They are content being an exception.

I don’t understand how women can sit and let their man call another woman out her name, or how a man is willing to sleep with a bad mother.  How “I don’t hang with females” girl is okay with how her homies treat their girlfriends or how women turn up to “these heauxs aint loyal”.   This twitter famous dude just leaked some girls nudes, let me send him some.  Perhaps its ego to think that you’re so unlike anyone else they can’t possibly do that to you.  You’re different, you’re special.  Apparently.

I’ve spoken at length here about how at one point I was guilty of acquiring new love in lieu of reflecting on why the last one failed.  I’ve also spoke on myself believe I was the exception.  She cheated with me because I’m irresistible not because she’s just immature and constantly needs attention.  She harassed her ex, there’s no way she’d do that to me if I treat her right.  She dragged his name through the mud but he had it coming, I’m different.  In all 3 scenarios, I wasn’t special, I wasn’t different, I was x in her algebraic equation of fuggery.  Sometimes people are who they are.

I won’t go so far to say people don’t change, but I will say, we give others passes too often because we think it can’t happen to us.  Maybe I’m alone in the idea that treating everyone like shit but me isn’t good enough.  Poor character will always rear its ugly head, a bad temper will eventually go off, and disrespectful people will always disrespect people.  Just say no to assholes, kids.


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Filed under Dating, Love, Randomness, Relationships, Simply Stan

Today’s Word is… TURMOIL

[EDITORS NOTE: 200 posts! I feel like this should be a happier post (like my 100th post wasnt on rape culture, a two parter at that) anyway, this was gonna be a twitter rant but as you can see that would’ve been a whole lotta tweets…so yeah…]


*Opens Pandora*

Two of my bishes in the club….and I know they know about each other.

*skips track*

We’d be in the same room
We don’t ever say shit
Let’s keep it between me and you
And we cool (Cause they don’t know)

*skips track*

These heauxs ain’t loyal

R&B station I was listening to, or so I thought.  I always had somewhat of an old soul, when I came to music I listened to what people in the house did.  My mother was about her oldies, my eldest sister was about her R&B groups.  It’s a far cry from what R&B is considered now, dudes are too tough (August Alsina and the 10 lightskinned tatted ninjas who all sound alike) , too glow stick music-y (Usher, Ne-Yo) too high (The Weeknd).  Some songs are admittedly catchy but when did slow jams die out, when did it become unpopular to express love.  I miss wingman music, dudes singing what I wanted to say for me.  Enter the Dru has about 8 tracks that resonate with me to this day, I don’t care about artist X’s side chick. Its all about hindsight, Drake made a career singrapping about how he wasn’t shit; he’s not going to do better yet but still, its unfortunate.  Cry for him, Argentina.  Anyway,  it’s a reflection on the market, love and passion ain’t hot in these streets.  Love is boring.

And it should be.  

There’s this illusion that love is about overcoming adversity, competing with these other heauxs, break up to make up, who’s gonna text first, was that tweet about me? Nah.  If drama is fueling your relationship it’s going to end….badly…very badly.  Then again, sometimes you’re just so nice and drama free you find yourself getting dissed for a hoodrat or buckfoy because while they blowing up their phone with nonsense and all you did was say you hoped they had a good day.  It’s sad but true, I’ve stopped pleasant conversations with nice women because this other one pissed me off.  One time I wanted to clear the air with someone, got ignored, one subtweet later she had unlimited time and 75 WPM typing speed.  You can make her smile, but he made her cry herself to sleep, so that holds more weight. Nice is boring, sweet is boring, we crave drama and it’s pretty sad.  It’s why a Cosby show wouldn’t work in 2014, women resonate more with a Being Mary Jane than a Claire Huxtable.  Men resonate more with a dude from from Black Ink Crew than a Cory Matthews. 

Wait how did I get on this soapbox? Lemme step down.

Anyway, it’s a brave new world.  I think that’s just become my explanation for a lot of things.  I think disrespect has just become way too acceptable in mainstream society.  Men are way too comfortable disrespecting women,  ones they “love” or otherwise and women have adapted to just withstand it. To bring it full circle, its about overcoming adversity;

“he cheated on you? Don’t let that heaux tear away your family…..ENDURE.” 

“She cussed you out after you did something wrong? “Man, fuh that bih that thot ain’t sh t”

The new normal.  Or something.


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Filed under Dating, Love, Relationships, Simply Stan