Tag Archives: crazy

Today’s Word is… FRANKENSTEIN

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When you think of Frankenstein, you think big green monster not the egotistical, nefarious man who created him.  Hell, the thing isn’t even named Frankenstein, but whatever.  I say that to say this, too often we look at the “monster” created and not the creator.  The abhorrent ex, crazy baby mama, the bitter friend, the jaded lover….its easier to just call them out for what they are and not look at who or what made them that way, that would require personal accountability and you just cant go for that like Hall and Oates.  I’m the friend you begrudgingly ask for advice because I’m almost always going to circle back and ask you about the role you played.  (Listens to groans from the “let me vent” crowd).  Monsters don’t just appear, someone caused their creation, whether they want to admit it or not.  I’m guilty of it too, I’ve created my fair share of dating Frankensteins and at least in hindsight I can look back and say, maybe I shouldn’t have led her on, maybe I could’ve communicated better, or that was just rude.  Sorry and whatnot. Others, however, can live in a world of delusion, wondering “why me” because they cannot bring themselves to realize they are the cause of the problem.  Its easier to just say the other person is tripping or not all there. 

For example, just recently a situation arose between a relative and the mothers of his children. (I won’t divulge cuz #familybusiness) His opinion is the usual; they just crazy, he doesn’t know why this keeps happening to him.  To his point, they not the brightest bulbs in the lamp. Then logic sets in and you realize, these things don’t just happen to people.  If it was a book, you would be like “this is a major plot hole” but in real life we make that leap all the time. People don’t just sweat you for no reason.  Women you never slept with don’t just claim you fathered your child (unless you’re famous).  People don’t just catch feelings for people who aren’t leading them on.  Friends don’t just do couple-y things for no reason (pewn..shot fired).  We know these things, we understand them apparently yet we carry on as if we don’t.  That’s not to say “Frankensteins” don’t naturally exist; (*thinks about the absurdity of this sentence*) plenty of people are just unhinged and obsessive. But they are the exception, not the rule.  Most of the time you’re just being an asshole and wont admit it.

We live in an era where people tend to act insouciant to everything, cant react, cant communicate, whomever loves first loses.  People (especially men if we’re being real) are barely allowed to emote anymore.  Its become far too common to be an asshole, and then label the offended as if it came from nowhere.  Behind most insecure “Frankensteins” there’s someone who didn’t reassure them, behind most sensitive “Frankensteins” there’s someone oblivious to how they’re interpreted, behind most emotional “Frankensteins” there’s someone who couldn’t communicate.  The havoc they wreak that’s on you, and well if someone dates any of mine…..my bad.

-Stan-

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Today’s Word is… CRAZY

[Editor’s Note: Last Year, I did a 30 in 30 challenge for National Blog Posting Month, 30 posts in 30 days, this year I’m…….not doing that shit.  Writers block is a bitch, with no titties]

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So a new reader reached out, said she loved the blog and the stories of my “crazy” exes.  I respectfully disagreed.  I don’t think I would call any of my exes crazy….okay maybe one and I never actually spoke on her before.  Actually, let me give a quick rundown…

So this girl who went to school with my right hand (who I hold fully responsible to this day) randomly asked him, who was that darkskinned dude he was always with?  He told me I should step to her, I did….sorta, I just found her on Myspace and talked to her there. We hit it off, I guess I go off to college, we instant message every now and again, no biggity, no doubt.  I come home for the summer, we start dating for real for real.  She started to get really clingy so I fell back a bit, she would call the house my sister would tell her I just left for work (she would have to say this or she would legit call every few hours), I get to work, She. Beat. Me. There. I was only working at Target so not like she couldnt just show up.  When she wasn’t stalking me at work, my boy would tell me how she just wandered around my neighborhood, she changed her status on facebook to married WITH the actual name change, harassed girls on my page, threatened to hurt herself if I left, applied to my school (didn’t get in #fistpump) I never was so hyped for summer to end in my life.   

Okay, maybe not so quick.  Point is, her ass was crazy.  Unexplainably crazy.  Like breakup in a public place crazy.  ID channel show crazy.  Actually, I think I ran into her recently, and by ran in I mean saw her and crossed the street like white people do when they see a group of black teens approaching.  Anyway, as for my other exes, I can’t call them crazy because being honest I was kind of an asshole. Brushing everyone off as they just crazy or immature just shows a lack of accountability.  Which is why, I’M always cautious of someone who always calling someone else crazy.  Sometimes “crazy” has a point.

You’re getting to know someone, she talks about how some guy was always in his feelings, then she’s the same way with you and you find yourself all the way in your feelings.   You wondering why his ex keep taking shots online, come to find out he’s still smashing telling her, you mean nothing.  There’s 2 sides to every story.  I’ve had exes just show up at my doorstep, sometimes at awkward times but still, I can kinda see why they did.  Don’t try to get the last word and ignore me, I will blow your phone up, show up at your house, send a letter, send flowers and cuss you out in the card (one of those things are false, not the one you think).  So yes, I get love driving you to “unconventional” thought processes.  I’m sane (i think), and sometimes I look back at things I did “cause…love” and can only smh now but then, then you couldn’t tell me a damn thing. 

I wouldn’t describe most of my exes as “crazy”, they’re more pissed off and passionate, pissionate. Okay, that sounds like R Kelly’s cologne. Gross.  Maybe for lack of a better made up word, they asses are crazy.  Crazy in love, works for Bey.

-Stan-

 

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Today’s Word is… INSANE

Editors Note: Struggled to title this post, I was going with Today’s Word is (STILL) Safe,  Safe pt II ft Usher & Loon, Safe 2: Revenge of the Safe, S2FE, and then I changed it, but its still basically the remix baby…
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I got some picture messages from my friend (umm lets call her A, i’m out of names), nothing major just her. I have no clue why she sent them to me, especially when there’s instagram and facebook, maybe it was an accident. I play it conservatively.

“Check you out”

“Thanks, (her man) doesn’t like my hair like this”

+”Looks fine to me”

“Me too, he’s just been weird lately, nothing I do matters to him anymore”

“I’m sure you’re just overreacting, he adores you”

“Adored. Now I just don’t know…you find me attractive right”

Now she knows the answer to that question. I’m attracted to her but I see her as no more than a friend. She feels the same way about me.  We had an amicable split, if you could call it a split, we were friends got close and mutually decided “never mind”.  But every now and again, she tests the water wondering if maybe it warmed up a bit.  I said a while ago, I’m safe. Women never quite close the door on me but have little to no intention on opening it either.  I’m guilty of this as well, can’t honestly say with her but with others. Despite knowing how it ends I can’t help but go back and wonder if things are different now I have a little hindsight on my side. Doing the same thing over and expecting a different result or as Einstein defined it, insanity.  No Shaun T.  That’s it, I’m insane.  In Einstein’s sense (although i’m still skeptical about the quote, the internet isn’t always honest), not just with women but with a lot of things, I just keep expecting things to change when I know better.

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3 months past since the “Safe” post (which got me in way more trouble than I thought, now I see why I should’ve kept SoFW a secret). Quick recap, I’m still in the same position I was. Well at one point they were all gone but sure enough they’re back in some capacity, like I said the door never quite closes.  The real problem is why I’m still in the doorway, I know where me and “She” will lead…nowhere.  She’ll never trust me, I’ll never see things her way.  We differ on the importance of titles, we differ on where we would/should be at this point.  Yet she isn’t going anywhere, nor am I.  We’re each others safety nets but eventually we’ll both gain our balance and no longer need one.

Me and “Ms” just can’t seem to get things right, how we feel about each other is the only thing we seem to agree on.  I never realize how much she reminds me of “her”, we both know better but too stubborn to admit it.  We’ve argued about the same thing for 6 months now, it’s tedious, it’s annoying, and oddly enough it’s worth it.  When things are going well it almost makes up for all the bull that precedes.  It’s insanity at its finest.  One day she’ll take an L on an issue and remember she loves me, one day I’ll live up to her expectations.  One day, we will look back and say I told you so.  Either that we were right about each other all along or that we were so terribly wrong.

“Miss” I never went after. Possibly I will look back and regret not going for the kiss, not going over that night, being too nice, I doubt it.  With her it wasn’t about being safe, maybe for the first time I actually did something different.  I was going after every pretty face that showed interest.  I was doing too much.  I became a love junkie, capturing any and all hearts I could find not sure what to do with them afterwards.  I fell for “Miss” but enough that I had to be with her? No.

It was “A” all over again.  We didn’t like each other in that way but we just tried just to try.  It was a safe relationship, luckily we ended it before we got hurt.  Back to today, she knew how I would answer the question, she knew how she would respond, she read this book before but in a brief moment of insanity nearly opened it again.  In a brief moment of insanity I almost let her.  But came to my senses. Just in time.

-Stan-

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