[EDITORS NOTE: Who do I think I am, waltzing in her a week and a half later with a repost. Well, I be busy. Not really. I’ve actually been working on some things that I will gleefully tell you about, Tuesday? And per usual with reposts I’ve sprinkled in updates, enjoy]
As you know, I consider myself a captivating courter. I love “the chase” if you can call it that, it’s more of a beckoning, chasing implies you’re the only one with something to offer, basically, I want you to want me *Miguel voice*. The wooing is typically apexed by that first kiss, while I typically like to kiss anyway, it’s that first kiss that let’s me know, Game. Blouses. All kisses are not created equal, I’ve had my fair share of bad ones, and if the studies hold true that the average person will have 28 first kisses in their lifetime, I have at least a dozen (well been about 2 years since this post, lets just say I’m about 68% there) good or bad left to experience, well unless I get married on something. (Welp, Still not married)
Way back when in “Underrated“, I told you about the worst kiss I ever gotten, need some gum just thinking about it…
Unfortunately the worst kiss I ever got has been topped. Like, it was abhorrent; the lob was thrown and I declined because I was that turned off and may or may not have blocked her number on my way home, I think she like licked the inside of my upper lip, where they do that at, I hate the man that told her that was cute, I hope he stubs his toe like twice a week. This kiss was in fact so bad I revived a blog post from 2013 just to vent. But back to the post
From that awful kiss (and this one), I knew I would not want to be with her romantically. As Eminem said, “You only get one shot do not miss ya chance to blow”, pun intended. Other times, I dated bad kisser anyway, even though the poor kissing chemistry was a prelude to the relationship that would follow. But what makes a one a bad kisser. Men are called out a lot, women not as much. Why? Because men don’t care. Well we care, but we’re more tolerant of the kiss challenged; we’re focused on the ultimate goal
But as I said, a bad first kiss usually sets a precedent. Like Ol girl without #daBreff I was instantly turned off (not that I was much in the first place) never mind she would dare to kiss with her breath smelling like stale yoga pants. I mean don’t you taste your own breath, why you think Pam from Martin never got a steady man? Another example; Madame, was a pecker. Her mouth as closed as she was emotionally. Bazinga. It was a power struggle she would want to peck I would want a wee bit more affection. It would represent our relationship she continuing to give me the minimum and me wanting more. On the other end of the spectrum, was another girl who damn near ate my face. She was too open, too easy, and I may or may not have used it to my advantage. All in all, a bad kiss is the ultimate buzzkill. All the leadup to…..that? It’s like the ending of Harry Potter, 8 damn movies and he killed him in 5 minutes. That’s some old bull….wait where was I? Oh yeah kissing n sh t.
While bad kisses are a sign of impending doom, good kisses, I can’t quite make a read on either. Sometimes it’s a sign of love, most of the time just intense physical attraction. Some people are just naturally affectionate but to you (or them) it feels like every romantic movie scene they ever witnessed. Perhaps it’s silly to put any stock in something someone else finds meaningless, enter worst kisser #4, random drunk elevator girl in college, but so far the correlation has been better kisser = better chemistry = better relationship. I think I might could be on to something. Or not. Shrug life.