Tag Archives: confidence

Today’s Word is… CONFIDENCE

So I’m on the train, I sit across from this very attractive woman, we make eye contact, we smile, she goes back to whatever she was doing on her phone. I do the same.  Next stop, this guy boards, an slightly older gentleman, unshaven, clothes desheveled, shoes filthy, he sits next to the pretty woman.  It’s a relatively empty train so I knew he was about rap to her, I turn my music down some to eavesdrop on some hilarity.  He starts off smooth, compliments her and whatnot, she smiles and thanks him.  He keeps talking to her about any and everything from her phone, to his ex, something about a fish, she’s politely nodding while he spoke and giving one word answers to every question but somehow he would manage to use it to keep the conversation flowing. Me and her exchange a few funny glances throughout the ordeal until she reached her stop, he pulls out a pen and a notepad, writes his number and @ name (Sidenote:are we at that phase now where we just giving out @ names, my twitter is pretty easy to remember no underscores or intentionally misspelled words, maybe dude is on to something) gives it to her, she rolls her eyes and smirks at me once more before she exits. 

Two things here, 1. I missed like 38947 signals, 2. I couldn’t help but admire homeboy’s confidence. Whether she actually uses that number or @ name or not, desheveled and all, he was able to approach an attractive woman and just have off the whim convo.  I could never do that.  It’s classic extrovert envy, while I’m still coming into my own and trying to be more confident, I don’t think I will ever be that brave.  My level of extrovertise (Yes I just made this word up) is based on my comfort level, if I’m comfortable I’m as open as if I was drunk. I never felt comfortable in high school, I was pretty popular in college. At work, some people I will go out with afterwards, others wouldn’t even recognize my voice. I rather shut myself down than play myself. 

Initially overhearing the train convo, I was embarrassed for dude.  I thought he was making a fool out of himself, she was not interested.  When I first saw her, even after she smiled, I saw her pull out her phone and I just took that as a sign. It can all be so simple in hindsight, I could’ve just broke the 4th wall and joined in the conversation, but even in a random chat between strangers on a train, i just felt uninvited. Before he even boards, if I had just went for it, this is a completely different post.  The life and times of an introvert, Welp. 



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Today’s Word is… SEXY

Me and some colleagues sitting at lunch. A woman passes our table, we see her around but no one quite knows what she does. We have an impromptu round-table discussion on “would you?”. I say I wouldn’t; the challenge flag is immediately thrown.

“You stay checking her out”

Now stay is a bit too much, but she does catch my eye from time to time; to be honest, I probably would. She’s not overly attractive but there’s something to her, the way she carries herself, that is sexy.

Sexiness to me is more or less how much I desire you. Of course physical attributes play a role, but it goes well beyond that. Confidence, subtlety, curiosity, uniqueness, and reciprocation cup size….that is what’s sexy. Sexiness is an appeal, how alluring one finds you will never be your decision. Take for instance the ever popular Instagram. I’m much more drawn to a woman who’s taking a flick before stepping out than the one with the girl holding her breasts up with one arm, snapping a picture with another, probably took 7 of the same picture before deciding on this one, with a random song lyric caption that’s completely irrelevant. Subtlety wins. What makes random pencil skirt lady so sexy is them hips and that walk is that she knows she’s one of the more attractive women (honestly I’d give the edge to coworker) at a primarily male dominated workplace and she wears it proudly, she doesn’t ask for attention but still commands it. It’s the confidence that’s enticing.

There’s sexiness in the unknown. Some people you just wanna see what it would be like. One person in particular who has grabbed my attention, while being physically attractive what sets her apart is the big game she speaks. There’s a challenge aspect to her, she knows what she wants, what she likes and not shy about stating it. I’m much more excited by the action of you sending a picture than the content. I’m a nerd I need mental stimulation. Keep me guessing, keep me thinking. I guess curiosity and uniqueness are two sides of the same coin. The ones who often stand out are the ones who continue to intrigue me.

As for myself, I would never refer to myself as sexy. I like to think I’m attractive, I take pride in my appearance but there’s something to be said about men who trto be sexy. As I’ve said before, it’s an appeal. I have a gist of what women find sexy about me but I hope someone karate chops me in the throat when I start doing shirtless bathroom pics. However, attention is sexy. I want to be wanted too and sh t. Flirt, flatter, fluck i can’t think of a third word. Aggressiveness (in moderation) is sexy. Actually, that’s somewhat of a trend I’m noticing anyway, women are a lot more aggressive and forward these days (or they’ve always been and just not towards me).

I find it funny when mass media essentially spoon feeds the public what is sexy. Victoria’s Secret can have a million bra ads that don’t appeal to a heterosexual man who is more of a leg man, sell some heels so he know it’s real (or do they already *shrug*). There’s some blind men who don’t find Beyonce sexy, but Candy Crowley can get the business. It’s almost uncontrollable. There’s women I don’t even like I would smash, I don’t find all that attractive yet I covet. Sexiness, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. Speaking of beauty….well that’s another post.

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