Tag Archives: Ciara

Today’s Word is… SPIRIT

I don’t know what it is about Ciara that just draws the ire of the internet. She can’t hit notes but she seems really good at hitting nerves. Usually it’s the #FutureHive being offended whenever Russell Wilson acknowledges his step son but this time in a plot twist, it was single women, the same women who ride out against the FutureHive on her behalf. With this video she posted on her Instagram of some pastor preaching the timeless classic; ladies this is why you single. Like all things Ciara and internet, people took sides and argued relentlessly and Brick killed a guy with a trident. In the video, he preaches this idea of walking in a “wife’s spirit”, whatever that means. You know what actually makes you marriage material? Being 18+ and finding a willing participant. You can cook, clean, fuck, not fuck, and make Henny from scratch… There’s no guarantee that’ll get you chose. So while Ciara can think she leveled up her spirit and that’s why God sent her Russell…more plausible they’re both celebrities bound to connect and they did. (In an alternate universe, Ciara the Walmart cashier who never makes the Ride video probably isn’t getting snatched up by a God fearing QB with a head full of eyebrow hair.) Whatever she did or didn’t do, she feels it got her a ring. And sisterfolk it can happen to you too. Level up, beloved.

But what about the men, maybe we too need to get blessed outchea. Is there a husband spirit I should be walking in, (cuz if it’s anything like what I did for the first half of my 20s that shit was trash only spirit I walk in is whiskey now.) It’s not drilled in us how to be the best husband for our future maybe might could be wives. To buy a house in our early 20s, manage our body count, go to therapy, master a grill (not bad things to do for yourself but still ) If a relationship go south no one is saying that it’s just the women WE choose to be with. Why, because it’s largely understood it’s ridiculous to expect single men from the time they are boys to devote their whole life to a future wife who may or may not ever come. It’d be just as ridiculous if Leslie Jones wrote a best seller telling men what they need to do to get a woman, or if a bunch of call center reps moonlighted as relationship bloggers giving men “real talk” about why they single. There’s no expectation to marry or have kids, provide if we don’t feel like it. It’s how Drake can whine poetically about how he just wants to find a good woman, go an entire 10 year career never being in any serious relationship he claims he wants and no one bats an eye. Men aren’t validated by a ring, it’s a choice some make some don’t. Women aren’t given that benefit of the doubt.

While I found the video and the debate about it mostly absurd, I think I might agree with the overall sentiment. Not “girlfriend spirit” and “wife spirit” but setting expectations and standards and holding yourself to them. I think there should be a consistency in that with men and women. You know what you want, so kick it accordingly. That’s not carrying yourself in a wife or husband spirit, it’s self confidence and knowing your worth. In an age of “it’s cool girl”, “nice guy”, situationships and unrequited love because no one knows how to be honest with themselves, the ones who do stand above the rest and that real will recognize real eventually. And when it does… Don’t then become the person who is posting know your worth videos. You see it doesn’t go over well.

-Stan-

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Filed under In the News..., Oh, Internet, Relationships, Uncategorized

Today’s Word is… UNDERRATED

Soul.

I have 6078 songs on iTunes. Cool story, Stan.  It’s a random collection of mixtapes, albums, and songs other people downloaded to put on their phones but never deleted (I find that extremely rude by the way, its like using someones bathroom and not flushing).  With over 6000 songs it’s hard to pick one to just listen to randomly, so I usually just throw on shuffle and let iTunes figure it out for me.  So as I listen to music go from rock, to dancehall, to rap, to pop, my ears perk up when I hear one song.  It’s untitled (another pet peeve of mines, i have my itunes organized then people download randomness and throws it off), it’s a guy sounds like Dwele, I whip out my phone and shazam it, it is Dwele, I actually had the song already so she had no reason to download it -__-.  But anyway it got me into a soul vibe, lyricism, smooth instrumentals, powerful voices…no fist pumping, no Skrillex, no enhanced vocals. Soul is such an underrated genre.

Like with my overrated post, when I say underrated I’m not saying that other people don’t like it or that it’s even that great. But like neo-soul music, it doesn’t get as much credit as it ought.

Skinny Women- It’s almost a double standard skinny women are often vilified for simply being skinny. While I can say I typically go for thicker women, I wouldn’t say they are the end all be all. Skinny women need love too. Just keep that stomach flat tho, no need for 6 pack abs. Bleh.

Phone Calls- Something about actually calling someone and hearing their voice that seems much more personal.  Texting is too synonymous with multitasking very rarely am I sitting and waiting for your message, I’m probably doing something else (or talking to someone else).  Skype is fun but i get tired of staring at your cleavage the screen and its not like i can look away you’re watching me.

Drawing- Before silly tee shirts, and muttering funny one liners, drawing was my way to meet girls.  Even in college when everyone had out laptops pretending to take notes, I would sit next to a cute girl and doodle away and wait for her to notice.  Now in an era where pencil and paper are becoming endangered species, I still will find time to draw.  Speaking of, this 30 in 30 blog challenge completely took over my #sketchbooksundays on Instagram.

Guess I’m a dog then…cuz…umm…

Stretching- It’s not just a way for women to be subtly sexy, it’s important for everyone to stretch. It’s amazing how many times you go to the gym, see a guy bench press 300 then need the wall to support him as he kneels to tie his sneaker.  I might not lay out a mat and do yoga but I do stretch all the time, throughout the workday and at the gym.

Tap Water- I go to the grocery store and buy two cases of water every month (and Mitt Romney smirk if they forget to ring it) but even then when I run out I turn to good ol tap water.  It kills me how many people act too good for tap water like they don’t bathe, brush their teeth and make ice with it.

Bob’s Burgers- Easily the funniest show on Fox Sunday, well besides when the Cowboys are playing (shots shots…shots shots shots…shots)

Student Discounts- I will continue to use any and all student discounts until I look too damn old to get away with it.  I still want to enroll in a school this month and claim it on my taxes.  HOPE credit for the muhfuggin win!!!!

QWERTY keyboards- I’ve been eligible for an upgrade since July (yes my longest relationships are now Facebook (6 yrs), Twitter (2.5 years) and Sprint (2 years) tragic) but I wont use it because there’s absolutely no new phones with a keyboard.  I own a tablet, I don’t need a mini etch and sketch sized phone to watch movies on and draw clown hair on LeBron’s picture. And Text to Speech isnt as great as you think, I can’t tell my phone to play Kanye West because Google keeps putting Conyay

Anything Handwritten- I drew up a concept for my tattoo; its centered around my mother’s actual signature (i actually revealed this at Thanksgiving now my sister wants it, we gon have problems).  What’s more artistic that something written from your own hand, especially in this Matrix age where they don’t even teach cursive anymore so I feel my whole 2nd grade education was a sham.  When “Ms” had her internship in Thailand (before we crashed and burned) I suggested we write each other as well, it seemed more personal than a gmail or a skype.  Letters are not just for soldiers and convicts.

Dry Cleaners- I love my local dry cleaners.  It’s pretty much my favorite thing about the town besides the ice cream parlor. I take my coats in before the winter, my track jackets and hoodies before the spring.  They come out looking as good as new.  When I need something tailored, I do my laundry and a stain didn’t get out to my liking, or I just need to know my new jacket size, I go to my cleaners.  I swear I’ma buy that place.

Honorable Mentions: Blog comments, Books, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, dating single mothers, Ciara, egg yolks, fitness walking, sweaters, cats, 12pm dates, Facebook (yes facebook), Fabolous, thrift stores, the fact that while rappers steadily pushing failed clothing lines and record labels, Dr. Dre made $110M off headphones

What I miss? Sound off below?

-Stan-

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