Tag Archives: church

Today’s Word is… CHURCH

[Editor’s Note: a throwback…for context.  It’s funny looking at things you wrote years ago and seeing how much you’ve (not) changed…anyway…enjoy]


So usually my Sundays go like this, I hop up out the bed; turn my swag on, feed Brady, go for a run, come back, shower, breakfast (you should eat before you work out…look I don’t need that now).  Over breakfast, I’ll check emails and messages, and when I check in with people, its usually the same…

“I’m about to go to church”


“I’m about to hop on this Madden”

It’s pretty much split between the gender lines, women are do it for the Christ, men ain’t gon do it.  I consider myself a God fearing man, I read the Bible occasionally, I’ve come a ways since I told you my struggles with faith well over a year ago.  Yet I still don’t make it to church, I mean I have my excuses

1. Hello i clearly said I ran in the morning, Jesus be a recovery.
2. I’m a Christian in a conservative catholic town, and if I go into the city on a Sunday morning its probably for my favorite Jazz brunch.
3. Fantasy football.

In this year of our lord 2014, They stream sermons, I know preachers with podcasts, my heathenism is inexcusable.  Nor is it for most men. Studies show 31% of men don’t attend church, like ever compared about 59% of women who attend at least one service a week or going by my contacts 87%.  They too probably have their reasons

1. Work
2. Don’t wanna be hypocrites (my favorite #cmonson excuse, the club full of hypocrites too)
3. They weren’t raised that way
4. Fantasy Football

But wait, none of those reasons are male centered, women work out, play fantasy football and lord do they love some brunch, so what makes them more able to go to church while men chill.  You’d think the large number of women would be enough to compel men to go, find God’s match for you (c) Christian Mingle.  I would say women are more likely to go to church because

1. More apt to submission (no hotep)…to Gods will
2. Safe community
3. Support system


There’s a vulnerability to church that not a lot of men accept.  You work under someone’s else’s supervision all week, to pay other people.  To add to it you are to spend another day sacrificing your free time under yet another dominion.  You can’t not work, you can’t not pay your bills, skipping church, there’s no immediate consequence.  Religion breeds accountability that men and women both struggle with, men all the more stubborn.  Most of us start off in the church with our families, some of us go back with families of our own, its that middle period that most men just don’t bother.  However it’s perhaps the most important time.

Men lack camaderie and support in their 20s-30s.  We lack humility.  Not to say this can’t be found outside of church but its also somewhere to start.  I could lie and say I’ll be there Sunday (most likely I’ll be eating waffles and writing next weeks post…God ain’t thru with me yet…yes I’m going just use that copout after I wrote this whole post).  I will say the primary reason men aren’t in church is that men aren’t in church.  Too often the men we see in church are broken or exploitative and we don’t want to associate ourselves with either.  We rather cultivate our own relationship with God alone, where no one else can see.  And really, there’s nothing wrong with that.  It would be nice if everyone could convene and worship together but whether its in the tabernacle or at my kitchen table, the message is still being delivered.




Filed under Randomness, Religion, Simply Stan

Today’s Word is… HEATHEN

[Editors Note: Yeah I know, religion….treading lightly tho]


So boy meets girl, girl is nice, boy asks girl out, date is nice, girl suggests boy to come to her church, boy is like, sure, girl is like so see you Sunday? Boy is like umm, sure?  Boy spends a week on vacation with liquor fueled debauchery completely forgets about this agreement until waking up Sunday afternoon with a very upset girl.  Boy should apologize, make amends, but week filled with liquor fueled debauchery. Boy should be better, God ain’t thru with boy yet. 

Now, I luh God. Do you luh God? What’s wrong with you?  Ironically enough, I had attended a funeral recently and the sermon brought me peace about a few things and I thought, I need to find a church. (Then he went on a 15 minute tangent telling kids to get off his lawn and I thought, eh maybe somewhere I can attend monthly) Baby steps and all that.  So when I met girl (um lets just call her Mary), I represented myself as a man of faith, which I don’t think is necessarily deceitful.  I’m a God fearing man, just not a big church goer.  Mary’s invitation definitely caught me off guard, was this all just a recruiting pitch or maybe she just wanted me to share this part of her life if this was going to become a thing.  Her friends and  family would be there…I mean we had a few calls and lunch, maybe I did get a little shook.  However, it make me think about my dating history in general and how much religion plays a role, if at all.

With my ex, she was Catholic (same difference…but hey I’m no expert) I attended mass with her family, she attended church with mine.  (She did get me rosary beads…but again, same difference).  I’ve dated women who were agnostic but played the role at family functions…never an atheist (cuz the ones I know are fairly pretentious, no one cares about your fake deep Facebook statuses you sound like a single person on Valentine’s Day).  Other Christian women it was just what was understood needn’t be explained, some were churchgoers, I wasn’t there was never any pressure for me to, just some strong suggestion and open invitations.  (Oh and there was the super religious homophobic girl…I gotta find a reason to tell that story one day).  I guess there’s always been a separation of church and bae.  Mary was the first one who called my bluff, so to speak, and I folded. Was it too forward or is it I’m really not bout that life?

A few years ago I wrote about why I, and seemingly most men under 35 I know don’t attend church.  (Actually I think I’ll repost for context after this).  Even then I copped to the fact that my excuses weren’t really excuses and I could if I wanted to and still here I am, still not going.  I also don’t read enough, eat better and to bring this full circle, date women I claim I want. (Mary was a little TOO upset, so this will probably be the last time you hear of Mary).    So maybe I’m full of shit.  Or just lost. Pray for me.


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Filed under Dating, Religion, Simply Stan