Tag Archives: chivalry

Today’s Word is… HONOR

I’m a fan, I don’t stan. I don’t blindly support people just to do it, I look at things objectively. I love my New England Patriots but everyone knows Brady fumbled in the “tuck rule” game, I love comics but I’m not going to dress up and go to Comic-con. Kanye West is one of my favorite artists but I’m not about to cosign 73% of the bullshit he says or does but for the 27% he is right, I will defend accordingly. So recently, Kanye found himself in the news for cold clocking some dude who called Kim out her name. Reactions went from “it’s just a name” to “publicity stunt” to Ye is just out of his damn mind. My reaction was taking the celebrity element out of it, a man hit another man for disrespecting his woman, that’s normal right? Some people on Twitter agreed, others did not. Yes, violence is not the answer all that jazz but I guess I’m old school in believing that if you talk out your behind, prepare to have a foot in it. Chivalry has been on life support for years now but defending a woman’s honor has that died out as well?

Full disclosure, I pretty much grew up in a house full of women, I took out the trash, I killed the spiders, I walked in the house first on New Years (still don’t get the meaning of that). I was also the second youngest so when it to hierarchy I only had my little sister under me. I was her protector, she was rough around the edges, she followed me around played like one of the boys but she was still my baby sister, mess with her you mess with me. Didn’t help she had a reckless mouth, but it didn’t matter because if a boy jumped up he’d get beat down. My mother, herself having three big brothers, made sure of it. Fast forward a bit, I still have that mentality whether it’s my sister, a girlfriend or even a little homie. Granted, I’m a wee bit too old to be fighting, especially in this brave new world of camera phones, Worldstarhiphop and dudes busting guns because they never learned a right cross. Somehow it’s weak or simping to defend your woman yet there’s prisons full of men who would do anything for their hitta their hitta. (Which speaks to the unnerving sentiment on black men and their women but I won’t go there…today.) Obviously, I never go looking to start confrontation but sometimes defending her honor is necessary.
For example, a little while back I found myself in some situation (I’m pretty sure I told this story but I don’t remember the post) and yada yada yada I had to take it to that ghetto university. Now the situation could’ve/should’ve been avoided and when it was over, I made sure to let her know how I felt about us both being put in that position. However, in the heat of the moment I wasn’t going to sit back and say “this your fault”.

You already know doe, you on ya own thats motto ninja YOYO


The other backlash with Kanye was that it was just a word, sticks and stones bruh. I guess I can’t say much seeing as how I reacted to being called that word and perhaps it was a silly reason to call in the cavalry, but for all we know she could’ve been having a rough day and just needed to talk and Kanye being a man felt the need to defend his lady, I can’t find fault in that. If I’m with a woman, I step away for a second and some dude heckles a bit, I’m not going to walk up swinging. If I come back and she’s visibly upset, I’ll probably have a word with him. If she tells me about it on the ride back, I’ll probably be frustrated but I can understand her reasons for not telling me sooner. Some people can laugh off insults, harassment while others are rattled and need support, when you start saying what one should and shouldn’t be able to tolerate it’s kind of a slippery slope.

At the end of the day, when it comes to defending a woman’s honor, it’s risk management. I’m not a 12 year old boy who could deck a kid and get away with it, I’m a grown man with things to lose. It’s just a matter of if that person is worth risking it for.

-Stan-

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Today’s Word is… CHIVALRY

Coolin.

“Some n***as save h*es, I’m not that heroic” – J. Cole

Oh, The plight of the nice guy.  In my last post, I talked about the emotional and vulnerable guy who is always too in love for his own good.  Today, I’ll talk about the chivalrous guy, brave, diligent, unnoticed.

They say chivalry is dead, it was killed by Hip Hop and later avenged by auto-tune which was then killed by Jay-Z who is still the best rapper alive because no one has yet to get close to him aside from Lil Wayne who pretty much stopped caring in early 2009.  What was I talking about again, oh yeah chivalry.  Chivalry has evolved over the years, from knights willing to die for the fairer sex to men who won’t do even the slightest gesture without expectation of sex.  So they say.  I consider myself somewhat chivalrous, I was raised in a house of all women, if I didn’t have the utmost respect for one, I was gon’ learn today.  I say somewhat because some customs are simply unnecessary, while others are not depending on the woman.  I’ll kiss your hand in the least creepiest way possible but I’m not about to get into an altercation over a woman I barely know.  They say today’s men aren’t chivalrous at all, and while we aren’t Knights in shining armor, I give the fellow man more credit than that.  Men are still very chivalrous, some just don’t pay attention, so alas, plenty chivalrous things that tend to go unnoticed like

If you’re from Boston like me, you’d know this is actually a rare sight

Holding a Door– Door handles are the filthiest things on earth, you think of how many masturbating  nose picking, finger popping, paper cut getting, Employees have to wash hands but I don’t, hands touch door handles everyday.  But without thinking I’ll always hold a door for a woman (and use purell after).  Some say thank you, some smile, some got on a dress that thanks you already, others stroll by like you get paid for it.

Introducing– If I’m out with someone, anyone else who speaks me will be introduced, you can be my mailman.  I’m like that with anyone honestly, I hate being the guy twiddling thumbs as you catch up or chop it up with a coworker even though you been off the clock for 4 minutes and you asked me to meet you at 5:00 sharp -_-.

Walking on the right side of the sidewalk– This is something I never realized I did until one time it was actually acknowledged.  I was out with someone and she even walked on the wrong side (because women LOVE to test men on dates) and I subtly moved back.  I got 50 points for Gryffindor for that time and since nothing.

Making Sure You Got Home OK– I always make it a habit to call/text after leaving someone,  we just spent an evening/lunch/night together and I’m not smothering but I like to know that you’re okay.  I mean Anything can happen, ask Liam Neeson.  Taken 2 is out right? Hmmm who to drag with me…okay I’m getting off track again.

Others are just a given now, giving up your seat, lifting heavy things, killing the bug, censoring language etc.  but they also say not that men are rude, but that the modern woman has killed chivalry.  The modern woman is easy, loud, and cynical.  She picks and chooses which chivalrous acts are acceptable, and then will consider the man corny or old fashioned for others. For example

I’ll order my own food thank you- I’ve ordered for my date before (well she told me what she wanted I simply stated it), I’ve also been cut off when doing so and I just got to sit with the Obama at the debate face.

Oh you just saying that- I give plenty compliments, if I  love your perfume I say so, if I like your hair like that I say so, if I like how that shirt fits you I might think something inappropiate but say something a little more eloquent.  I know no one likes to be complimented all the time but these days you can’t compliment a woman without being thirsty or lying.

Make a move- In hindsight there’s plenty of evenings that could’ve turned out differently if I had just made a move.  However, I’m a gentleman first, I might not ask because there’s no way to do that without looking tacky but I will wait her out. Sometimes she breaks the stalemate, others  tell me about it afterwards, gets with someone else and moves away -_-.  Oh, the plight of the nice guy.

Unlike the emotionally unavailable guy, I just don’t see how or why the non chivalrous dude  wins in this matter.  Chivalry is above all else simple manners.  Give a take some examples, most of these things should be done for the fellow person just because.  But things don’t ever work out like that.  Now who am I seeing Taken 2 with, I’m paying unless she’s too independent for all that, then she can lol.

-Stan-

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