Tag Archives: cats

Today’s Word is… UNDERRATED

Soul.

I have 6078 songs on iTunes. Cool story, Stan.  It’s a random collection of mixtapes, albums, and songs other people downloaded to put on their phones but never deleted (I find that extremely rude by the way, its like using someones bathroom and not flushing).  With over 6000 songs it’s hard to pick one to just listen to randomly, so I usually just throw on shuffle and let iTunes figure it out for me.  So as I listen to music go from rock, to dancehall, to rap, to pop, my ears perk up when I hear one song.  It’s untitled (another pet peeve of mines, i have my itunes organized then people download randomness and throws it off), it’s a guy sounds like Dwele, I whip out my phone and shazam it, it is Dwele, I actually had the song already so she had no reason to download it -__-.  But anyway it got me into a soul vibe, lyricism, smooth instrumentals, powerful voices…no fist pumping, no Skrillex, no enhanced vocals. Soul is such an underrated genre.

Like with my overrated post, when I say underrated I’m not saying that other people don’t like it or that it’s even that great. But like neo-soul music, it doesn’t get as much credit as it ought.

Skinny Women- It’s almost a double standard skinny women are often vilified for simply being skinny. While I can say I typically go for thicker women, I wouldn’t say they are the end all be all. Skinny women need love too. Just keep that stomach flat tho, no need for 6 pack abs. Bleh.

Phone Calls- Something about actually calling someone and hearing their voice that seems much more personal.  Texting is too synonymous with multitasking very rarely am I sitting and waiting for your message, I’m probably doing something else (or talking to someone else).  Skype is fun but i get tired of staring at your cleavage the screen and its not like i can look away you’re watching me.

Drawing- Before silly tee shirts, and muttering funny one liners, drawing was my way to meet girls.  Even in college when everyone had out laptops pretending to take notes, I would sit next to a cute girl and doodle away and wait for her to notice.  Now in an era where pencil and paper are becoming endangered species, I still will find time to draw.  Speaking of, this 30 in 30 blog challenge completely took over my #sketchbooksundays on Instagram.

Guess I’m a dog then…cuz…umm…

Stretching- It’s not just a way for women to be subtly sexy, it’s important for everyone to stretch. It’s amazing how many times you go to the gym, see a guy bench press 300 then need the wall to support him as he kneels to tie his sneaker.  I might not lay out a mat and do yoga but I do stretch all the time, throughout the workday and at the gym.

Tap Water- I go to the grocery store and buy two cases of water every month (and Mitt Romney smirk if they forget to ring it) but even then when I run out I turn to good ol tap water.  It kills me how many people act too good for tap water like they don’t bathe, brush their teeth and make ice with it.

Bob’s Burgers- Easily the funniest show on Fox Sunday, well besides when the Cowboys are playing (shots shots…shots shots shots…shots)

Student Discounts- I will continue to use any and all student discounts until I look too damn old to get away with it.  I still want to enroll in a school this month and claim it on my taxes.  HOPE credit for the muhfuggin win!!!!

QWERTY keyboards- I’ve been eligible for an upgrade since July (yes my longest relationships are now Facebook (6 yrs), Twitter (2.5 years) and Sprint (2 years) tragic) but I wont use it because there’s absolutely no new phones with a keyboard.  I own a tablet, I don’t need a mini etch and sketch sized phone to watch movies on and draw clown hair on LeBron’s picture. And Text to Speech isnt as great as you think, I can’t tell my phone to play Kanye West because Google keeps putting Conyay

Anything Handwritten- I drew up a concept for my tattoo; its centered around my mother’s actual signature (i actually revealed this at Thanksgiving now my sister wants it, we gon have problems).  What’s more artistic that something written from your own hand, especially in this Matrix age where they don’t even teach cursive anymore so I feel my whole 2nd grade education was a sham.  When “Ms” had her internship in Thailand (before we crashed and burned) I suggested we write each other as well, it seemed more personal than a gmail or a skype.  Letters are not just for soldiers and convicts.

Dry Cleaners- I love my local dry cleaners.  It’s pretty much my favorite thing about the town besides the ice cream parlor. I take my coats in before the winter, my track jackets and hoodies before the spring.  They come out looking as good as new.  When I need something tailored, I do my laundry and a stain didn’t get out to my liking, or I just need to know my new jacket size, I go to my cleaners.  I swear I’ma buy that place.

Honorable Mentions: Blog comments, Books, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, dating single mothers, Ciara, egg yolks, fitness walking, sweaters, cats, 12pm dates, Facebook (yes facebook), Fabolous, thrift stores, the fact that while rappers steadily pushing failed clothing lines and record labels, Dr. Dre made $110M off headphones

What I miss? Sound off below?

-Stan-

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Today’s Word is… MASCULINITY

Now, in my experience when an ex needed to talk, it was a pregnancy scare, needing closure, or wanting my permission to date my boy.  So I started counting back months, crossed my fingers and called.

So it turned out her friends cat had a litter of kittens and needed to unload some, ummm cool story.  They’ve tried but there’s still 3-4 left and are reaching out to anyone with space….

uh oh I see where this is going…

“can you take 2 until we find owners?”

“My apartment doesn’t allow pets”

“Doesn’t the guy downstairs have a dog”

“Thats a dog and he’s not even allowed to have it”

“Doesn’t the one across the hall have a cat”

“My apartment is too small for two cats”

“Just take one, until we find another owner or you can find one..pleeeeeease we don’t know who else to ask”

Not him…just as evil tho

And with that enters Brady (if I’m going to have a furball, it’s going to at least be named after the greatest QB of my time), a I think it’s like 12 weeks old now I’m not a cat person, Maine coon kitten sent from the depths of hell.  I’ve had him for a month of so, almost found a home a few times but one changed their mind, another didn’t want to pay a rehoming fee, and the other wanted me to bring it 2 hours away (I don’t deliver, #digiorno).  I think it was all an evil ploy by “She”, try to throw off my game, single men with cats are usually perceived as gay, secretly married or serial killers.  Also she knows firsthand how much  I value my stuff and has sent Brady to destroy it from the inside Trojan Horse style.  But at least he doesn’t use my brush, talk during Pardon the Interruption and say he’s not hungry but then proceeds to pick off my plate and out the pan for 10 minutes, so for now he’s an upgrade as a roommate.  I was telling my friend about this unfortunate turn of events and she laughed and said honestly a cat fits my personality, in the sense I’m lazy, low maintenance and only want attention when I’m bored.  Another friend shared a similar sentiment also throwing in responsible and caring.  My boy basically went way left saying that it was my way of holding on the her, which isn’t true I would’ve done it for anyone.  Another said f*** that leave the door open and let fate drive.  I laughed, admittedly considered it but for now I’m still a single man with a cat.  This can potentially alter the dynamics of my dating life.

Manly?

I needed to test on objective parties.  I broke the news to a boo (leaving the part where i did it as a favor to my ex of course), she wanted to say something but didn’t so I used the serial killer line and she agreed wholeheartedly.  Another had a “to each his own I guess” reaction.  An e-boo thought it was sweet I was helping out a friend (exactly, only took 7 people to get it) and that she liked that I was secure with myself.  Then another girl cosigned the low maintenance part, she don’t know me like that, who she think she is?  Anyway, men with cats do get a bad rep and as a temporary member I guess I have to defend.  I don’t need to walk around with a rottweiler like I’m Nino Brown to overcompensate, or use a dog as a wingman if I see a cute girl (actually that is the only reason a dog would come in  handy).

Side eye me if I start carrying a picture in my wallet, join a pet forum (although I do google a lot of stuff, like why it keeps going to town on its tail, or when they start shedding fur because hopefully he’s gone by then), start dressing it or actually own more than one (one cat is low maintenance, two cats is just creepy).  Cat or not I’m far from the cliche man anyways; sure I love beer, sports, boobs, have facial hair and hate everything that Nicholas Sparks ever wrote, but also I blog, I read books, watch what I eat, listen to R&B, and I like turkey bacon.  I am who I am.  I’m not a cat owner tho.

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Filed under Randomness, Simply Stan