Tag Archives: busy

Today’s Word is… BUSY


Yeah yeah been a while, guess I’ve been…busy.  Was I really though?  Maybe someone been occupying my time?   Maybe I’m over blogging in general? Oh, so I can tweet 11 hours of football but can’t drop a post?  I used to post every day, even a blurb just to check in.  Now I’m being distant.  You can feel it, my heart is not in it anymore.  You aren’t going to read ever again.  Welp.  Now this is the part where I can apologize…offer some believable reason for my ghosting (I actually did do a post last week and didn’t like it so I skipped a week…for real….man whatever, believe what you wanna believe), make a promise to be better and we can check back in a few weeks when I start acting funny again. You’ll buy it because you aren’t really ready to start reading other people.  All they do is copy content from black twitter or front so hard like people don’t know their real strug life offline.  You just want me to be better, for both our sakes.  I will try.  So crisis averted, for now. 

Cell phones are a gift and a curse in that regard; we are all readily available so much so that it’s apparent when we’re not.  It makes dating crimes such as ghosting completely unacceptable.   It’s hard not to take it personal to send a text that goes unanswered, log on twitter and see them live tweeting Love & Soundcloud Wives of the Potomac.  Read receipts exist because it’s not enough to send a message you need to know that you were ignored.   You speak out against it because you’re out for precedents to represent you, and they will brush it off, apologize and say they been busy.   Why? Because it’s the snooze button on whatever state of the union this is about to turn into.  The sad reality is we don’t necessarily want the truth just a solid lie.  A lie that helps you accept that currently rank below his fantasy football team on his priority list.  The priority argument should really be an ultimatum but most people aren’t prepared to do what needs to be done…you can’t negotiate with a ghost, they know what they are doing already.  

I’ve been on both sides of it; as the one who is “too busy” and the obliviously curved.  As the curved, in hindsight I really reaching for an excuse to further play myself.  Gimme something, school, work, you’re “bad at texting”.  (She was fine tho).   As someone who is too busy….well, God is working on all of us.  I like to think I’m getting better at not wasting either of our time.  It’s perhaps my biggest growth this year. “I just feel like you not that interested…” “you right”.   Or maybe I’m getting bitter in my late 20s, I haven’t decided yet.  



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Filed under Dating, Randomness, Simply Stan

Today’s Word is… AVAILABILITY

I hate this quote.  I hate whoever thought of it. I hate Tumblr.  I hate the “parody” accounts on Twitter who spew quotes like these. I hate the Baltimore Ravens just because.  The reason I hate the quote is it’s commonly used against me out of context.  “Miss” was good for doing so, but she at least knew that it annoyed me she just liked to be cute.  Others usually use it when I’m too busy for their liking, which instead of taking accountability and realizing maybe they’re making themselves too available, they point the finger at the man.  Geaux figure.

Availability is something that is often overlooked in regards to dating, it seems like people aren’t as available as they like to think they are, others aren’t as unavailable as they think they are.  Ironically enough, I’m talking to one on each end of the spectrum.  In the blue corner, we have “Busy”, a sweet, beautiful woman with enough wit and sarcasm to almost go toe to toe with me. Almost.  I like “Busy”, but she bites off way more than she can chew sometimes, and while her caring nature is one of the things I like about her, it makes her impossible to date.  Interestingly enough, she doesn’t see it that way.  She says I’m not making myself available enough, but one who makes themselves too available usually gets burned in the long run. Like Nnamdi Asomugha on a go route. Alas, the conflict of two people who think they are both making themselves available enough for the other and the other simply isn’t taking advantage of what’s in front of them.  Or maybe our availability struggle is a cleverly disguised game of chicken, where one simply wants to see who gives in first.  Unfortunately, of the many things we have in common, stubbornness is one of them.  I will win eventually, I hope.

I will not be Nnamdi’ed. For the non football fan, he’s #24 who should’ve caught #12 15 yards ago

In the red corner, we have “Lady”, who is a single working mother who always seems to be the one reaching out.  I’ve had my reservations about dating single mothers in the past but I like her so far I’m just not sure how much.  She’s opened up to me a lot, a whole lot that I’m still processing it all.  Part of me feels she just wants a boyfriend and any old guy would do.  I like to think of myself as a catch but she doesn’t know I am yet, she can’t know yet, I haven’t even showed her much yet.  She has a whenever, whereever, whatever schedule where if I called right now she’d probably drop her son off and be right over.  That’s not exactly a plus in my book. I like challenges. When one is too available, it basically leaves another to use them at their own convenience, not like they’re going anywhere.  Writing it out, she might not just be too available just too easy and I’m not about to be the next contestant on that Maury Show screen.

No sir. No me.

I like women who make me work and anticipate but there’s got to be light at the end of the tunnel.  Make me chase you but I’m not going to run forever, shin splints ain’t nothing to f wit.  I can’t deal with an overly available women because we’ll always run into trouble when I can’t give her the time she wants, and overly busy women are just frustrating. On a 1-10 I’d take a 4-6 or even 3 if she’s really fine.

On a 1-10 scale with 1 being the least available, I’d say I’m about a 4.  Depending who else you ask I’m probably a -10. While I’m fairly open I still know that you never want to become the guy that you know is always free.  I can be staring at my phone waiting for you to respond to my text but I refuse to be the guy that texts “???” every 10 minutes (don’t you hate when people do that, like go play Angry Birds or something, i’ll get back to you when I do).  On the other end, you also don’t want to become the guy that’s so unavailable that women think you’re gay, married or Batman. I wasn’t available for a while and some good women slipped by because of it. Single doesn’t always mean available, a lesson I learned the hard way.



Filed under Dating, Love, Simply Stan