Tag Archives: booty call

Today’s Word is… ROMANTIC

So I had stumbled upon this article (don’t leave NOW, go back to it later…RUDE.) the other day about the idea of a “romantic booty call”. The writer, fresh off a breakup, is where we’ve all been. Not really looking to get back out there but not quite used to going extended periods without sex. So you venture out into the dating world which might as well be the Upside Down from Stranger Things. The writer has an “epiphany” of sorts, that when she tells men that she’s a romantic, they simply don’t know how to process it so they assume she’s looking for love and they default to the tried and true method of lowering her expectations. Jokes on them, she’s just in this for the sex. She could just say that but it’s easier to make them squirm. (#DontDateWriters). As she puts it, “women live such multidimensional lives with a huge range of interests, ambitions, and opportunities at our fingertips — casual lovers included.” Basically, you ain’t got to lie to kick it.

Last year (damn time flies), I touched on casual sex and my struggles with it. Ironically, it was the same thing that she’s lamenting, (it’s almost like men aren’t just horny cavemen who are confused by nuance) the struggle of being a romantic but not wanting a relationship can be real tho. We can sleep together, have a great time with each other, kiss and say we love each other but the reality is, the reason we ain’t actually together is because at least one of us doesn’t want to be. But saying you’re just good enough to sleep with is cruel to say out loud and so we play verbal gymnastics. Speaking personally, I’m someone who takes my relationships very seriously; and so, if I don’t see a long term future I adjust accordingly. However, that reality of “I want you but I don’t WANT you” is a tough pill for one to swallow.

With that the idea of a “romantic booty call” sounds ideal, all of the relationship perks with none of the baggage, that’s the dream right? There’s a lot of middle ground between “dick appointment” and “boyfriend”. Hooking up with random people gets old by 23…you want familiarity and consistency (and worry free annual physicals). So does having a new bae every 3 months because you enjoy each other’s company and that’s just what you’re supposed to do.

Can the romantic booty call work? Yes…but only temporarily. No one is going to just be around forever. No one wants to just be around forever. “I’m not looking for a relationship” guy is going to find someone else eventually, your FWB is going to take that job out of town because who is staying around for a “friend”, his wife is eventually going to find out. All good things come to an end, B. At least the way I see it, perhaps there’s a society of people who simply don’t believe in relationships, but are down to do romantic things platonically I’m simply not privy to. Or an even more novel idea, just stop treating sexual partners like shit as a means to establish boundaries and there’d be no need to romanticize the fwb who actually let’s you spend the night in the first place.

-Stan-

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Filed under Dating, Love, Relationships, Uncategorized

Today’s Word is… SLEEP

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“So what you up to”

“Just out with the ladies, actually around your neck of the woods….”

“How about you”

“I’m just home, chilling watching a movie”

“You gonna be busy later”

“Doubt it, why”

“I was gonna stop by…”

Now at this point I’m hitting my dougie, sprucing up the crib, the usual houseguest protocol.  She said she was gonna slide off a lil early be there round 1. I finish my movie, watching something on TV, its about 1:25, no biggity no doubt, I call her she like yada yada yada she still coming, ok cool.  I look at the clock its about 6 am, 5 missed calls, 4 knocks on the door, 3 question marks, 2 expletives and one pissed off salted shorty. Apparently, I dozed off….at 1:28.  I literally hung up and I was down for the count, lights out ninjaaaa.  I then knew what I had to do….go back to sleep its only 6am yo.

You see, I’m about my sleep.  I don’t have children yet, I’m not in college anymore, there’s literally no legit reason for me not to get my 7-8 hours.  I never been a big napper, I can’t see myself just sleeping in the middle of the day for no reason unless I’m sick.  I rather have a full nights sleep. Friends and family will joke call me grandpa, whatever let me rest.  I’m not the boyfriend who is about to sit up in bed arguing, I’ll get back to you on the next business day. (okay this is like 7% effective, cuz women)  I can’t rock with those “grinders” who swear insomnia will make them rich, Lord willing, the world will be there to conquer tomorrow but for now I’m gon throw some Z’s on this bitch.

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We’re a hyperactive society.  The CDC says about 41 million Americans get about 6 hours of sleep, that’s 13% of the country (pretty sure that’s correct, too lazy to research, this is the internet just take my word for it).  We’re overcaffeinated and underrested.  Not to get on a soapbox about health because, well I’m far from the hero Gotham needs in that department but its interesting that we go so far to avoid something so simple and benefitial to us.  There’s plenty of reasons people just don’t sleep but a lot of it comes down to stress and distractions; two things I actively try to avoid in my life.

I’m the dude who will turn off my phone mid fight, I’m adament in not investing more than 40 hours in a company and a brand that is not my own, my bills and rent are set on automatic, and any other concerns going to be there tomorrow anyway, so why lose sleep over them tonight.  Of course this is all easier said than done; sometimes that subliminal post touches a nerve, she’s actually there and you cant ignore her, or you cant be laissez faire on an issue and have to get it done, or you’re just really drunk and cant sleep.

They say nothing good happens after a certain time of night.  They be lying tho.  I’ve missed my fair share of moments like #thelob, a few stories I can’t repeat, and times I’ve broken my self assigned bedtime and it was well worth it (other times not so much).  I don’t always remember my dreams but I enjoy them (and be having deja vus out the ass, maybe I’m a medium or something) but I never wake up with a regret over what I potentially missed.   It’ll be waiting for me tomorrow, and knock on wood I’ll be there as well; but in the meantime, let a nigga sleep!

-Stan-

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Filed under Randomness, Simply Stan