Tag Archives: book

Today’s Word is… HUSTLE

That awkward moment when you google “hustler” for a main image for this post and you forgot all about Hustler magazine.  That awkwarder moment when you make a random cameo on Facebook and are bombarded with FB chats.  One from a friend with a Gucci watch for sale, I don’t even wanna know how he got it, another asking me to check out his music on Youtube, and another from an old colleague asking me to check out his site.  I was only on to steal one of my father’s old army photos for a Veteran’s Day post.  Sheesh.  It seems everyone has some kind of side hustle these days, except me.  I had a big hustler spirit myself at one point, although I never cared to sell drugs the risk and profit didn’t seem worth it.  Instead I developed a network of side hustles in addition to a part time job to keep me afloat.  I sold bootleg CDs , my artwork, had 3 blogs, ghostwrote homework, ran a ghetto depository and repaired electronics.   These days, I’m still a jack of all trades but still master of none, I just can’t seem to take a leap on anything. Now I look back and wonder where did that spirit go?  Have I lost my sense of wonder? Am I a realist or just someone who’s scared to dream?

My first issue is I never put myself out there.  Perhaps I’m too humble.  I was the one the slyly slid my 100% tests in my bag as my friends all talked about how bad they did.  Most of my talents are hidden unless you really know me, or you’re one of those dates that asks “tell me something I don’t know about you” and I have nothing to say so then I’ll talk about my brief freelance art career or that I write.  Or maybe I’m too self conscious. I rarely let people in on my plans until they’re done, that way no one can know if I failed or not.  I don’t want to be asked about that girl I was seeing, or wasn’t you trying to lose weight or how’s the new job search going.  More dreams fail than succeed, I rather you not know I was even trying than know I failed.  <insert quote about failing vs not trying> yeah yeah whatever.

I also lack focus.  There’s so much I want to do I end up doing nothing. When I was a kid I dreamed of being a writer or a cartoonist or  creating my own animated cartoon which was like the equivalent of both my dreams having a baby. My mother knew I was going to be an engineer. My teachers foresaw politics.  My father envisioned my designing video games. The hood had me down for lawyer. I ended up in finance.  I love to write but I can’t see it becoming my career,  I dropped engineering as my major on my 3rd day, awkward teen years killed the charisma I had as a kid, video games are a lot harder than they look and I never had any real interest in law, they just wanted me to be a black Maurice Levy.   Sure I can attend Devry University, write a book, get rich, go to law school, then run for office and make my children fulfill their grandmother’s prophecy but the odds of that is slim. People barely buy books anymore.  Maybe a graphic novel, but I suck at drawing the same thing over and over, they’ll stop looking alike by halfway through, okay I’m rambling…point is I need to find a hustle and stick with it.

I’m young, ambitious and no mouths to feed but my own, so I’m still playing with house money.  I’m sure eventually I’ll develop something I’m passionate enough about that I’d overcome humility and doubt and just go for it. Maybe I’m just waiting for that tag team partner or for the perfect opportunity to fall in my lap *crosses fingers*.  Until then, my plan to take over the world remains under wraps.  *evil handrubs*


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Filed under Money, Randomness, Simply Stan

Today’s Word is… MAN

“I need a man, not a boy” – probably 83% of all hetero women dating profiles.

I remember one day I was talking to “Miss” and I jokingly said I was going to write a relationship book titled “You’re Doing too Much”. (Actually just might one day, my before im 30 bucket list has “publish writing” on it, it’s either that or a novel, I mean E.L. James isn’t too great a writer and she’s doing quite well #noshade #nopunintended #imgoingtofeelthewrathofGreyGroupieslater #imrambling). The idea of the book was simple, relationship advice book for people who are too reliant on relationship advice.  Most bloggers/matchmakers/divorced comedians are really just feeding out generalizations that seldom apply to everyone, but sounds sensible enough you just accept it, like Omarion’s singing ability.  *re-reads paragraph, turns down ether levels*

coming soon…maybe.

So alas here is the kinda sorta sneak preview to my non existing as yet to be titled copyright pending book, chapter I: Let Men be Men

He sees you, he is attracted.  You see him, the same.  He approaches you starts up conversation (oh yeah it’s 2012..) he messages you on Facebook as you two talk about what your interests are, who you be with, things that make you smile, what numbers to dial.  You go on a couple dates, you like him he likes you, you two decide to be in an exclusive relationship.  Now in the relationship, you’re unhappy.  He rather play Madden than go to the mall with you to pick out an outfit for a party he also elects not to go to.  You force him to watch reality TV but now feel uncomfortable because he’s checking out every chick on the screen.   He turns it to ESPN, you roll your eyes. He loses his job, you make more than enough to support the two of you until he gets back on his feet.  One day you ask him to make dinner and come home to fried chicken no vegetables or anything just chicken.  You don’t want chicken you rather go out for dinner/drinks now; you put on a dress, he throws on his McDowell’s t-shirt and a fitted. You hate that shirt because it’s so awesome random people always stop and inquire about it.  As expected, cute waitress compliments awesome shirt, you brazenly pick up check in attempt to emasculate him. You even elect to drive home since you took your car. He rolls eyes and uses his phone during ride, you notice he’s way too happy after you just defeated him.  You start to wonder what he’s up to when you’re not around. You start feeling insecure.  Now you’re on all you’re favorite blogs looking for signs he might have a sideline chick.  You start having trust issues and accusing him of things, he can’t take it anymore, ends relationship.  He now only hits you up to “chill”.  You’re on social networks talking about how all men are the same.

No, that wasn’t meant to be read in the DirecTV commercial voice. Yes, that was based on a true story. So what’s the moral here, to let a man be a man.  Men are far from perfect, the guy in the story certainly.  However, men command respect.  Respect their time, respect their space, respect their role in the relationship, respect their judgement.  If a man rather watch mid-season baseball than go to the town parade let him be.  If a man is accidentally logged on Facebook that doesn’t mean read his messages. Support and encourage him but understand you can’t “train” a man, only dragons. The judgement is truly underrated, men are not sex crazed idiots completely weak to another’s advances.  I love women I couldn’t imagine going a day without seeing one whether its a boo or a stranger, however I’m a man of commitment; when I make one, I stand by it. Also insecurity stems from within, it comes from even subconsciously knowing that you are not on your job….actually that might be another post entirely (and yes for those keeping score that’s 3 posts I have to do….eventually).  To be honest, it doesn’t take much to keep a man happy, most relationships fail because of timing and misplaced expectations.

Train dragons, not men



Filed under Love, Randomness, Relationships