Tag Archives: barbershop

Today’s Word is… TWITTER

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One of my first barbershops I went to was this half barbershop/half salon up the street.  It started off strictly two separate establishments as dudes with braids & sistas with fades grew more trendy the masses joined together and not long after a Battle of the Sexes was waged.  Initially, I was “young blood” being talked through, not to, by men and women alike trying to win their respective debates under the guise of giving me some game.  As I got older I partook in some of the dialogues but eventually, I just wanted to get my “regular, 1 1/2, skinny chinstrap, leave the goatee” and go about my business. So, I found a new barbershop.  It got exhausting debating hypoghettocals like “So you wouldn’t smash your cousins ex if you only met her one time before at a party and she don’t recognize you now” with a bunch of people whose opinions on the matter don’t actually mean anything.  (Also my regular barber got locked up Free “Dread” Bwop Bwop *air horns*).    That’s how I feel about Twitter or “Black Twitter” as the media outlets like to call it sometimes; it just gets….exhausting. 

Now if you follow me on there, you know I’m fairly active on Twitter.  At its best, Twitter is great at getting and reacting to news in real time or consuming media.  Whether its the Superbowl, Apple Press Conference, a State of the Union address, Twitter is the go to for context, opinion, and them jokes (and of course trolls but they get half a bar…..y’all know the rest).  Then there’s times when there isn’t really any news, no game is on, no TV show with a cult following on; its a Tuesday morning and people are at work? more or less getting their barbershop on with outlandish opinions, with mentions and RTs providing credence to the nonsense.  It feels like I’m back at the old barbershop. Everything is a battle.

I’m in my mid 20s, corporate job, Gemini, no kids, under 6′, attended a PWI, have a Samsung phone, PS4, Boston sports fan, indifferent on the weight and hair choice of dating partners, somewhat traditionalist, lean liberal, and I like Turkey Bacon.  That right there is about 35 twitter debates, except I don’t feel the need to turn every aspect of my life into a societal debate.  It’s not so much that I think celeb X is attractive, everyone must or else prepare for battle.  If a 21 year old wants to think her husband must make 100K, why must the league of 30something Twitter rain judgement upon her and tell her she can’t because they didn’t?  Why can’t a song be a song or a movie a movie without someone putting their own agenda into it?  We do we even care when it has no actual bearing on our feelings, our lives.  I remember the barbershop wars would get so heated, you would think these were couples arguing and not strangers and acquaintances that wasn’t checking for each other anyway.  So why even invest the energy? Who cares?

We care. We all do.  It’s a natural urge to defend when one feels attacked, even if the attacker is a sassy stranger getting a roll n set or just some miscellaneous person on Twitter.  Over time, that urge wanes when you realize ultimately that person doesn’t matter.  “Don’t feed the trolls” “Its Just Twitter” “I Know Somebody Like It” much easier said than done when confronted with some fuggery.  I’ve gotten better with just rolling my eyes and keeping it moving but on a good day, I will go off.  But you know I’m being better in 2015, channel your inner Kanye n whatnot.  I stopped going to the barbershop, I could just as easily delete Twitter……

….nah.  Its too connected to my TV watching (cuz some shows are just unwatchable without live tweeting) but I will make it a point to take some breaks when I’m fourfiveseconds from wyling because some people, well, I just wonder who raised them

-Stan-

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Filed under Oh, Internet, Randomness, Simply Stan

Today’s Word is… HEAUX

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I never got why people hate Kim Kardashian.  Now I can’t say I’m a fan of hers, I don’t watch any of those 38 reality shows, she’s just as bad of a singer as Britney Sp….*loud subway train passes*, and even from an adult de cinema perspective there was plenty to be desired.  However, I never been inclined to hate her, her fame or the empire she’s built simply off the premise that America is so muhfuggin nosy.  I felt this way well before she was ultimately linked with Kanye West beared an heir and now they’ve recently got engaged.  Even though Kanye left her because she got fat, at least that’s what the supermarket tabloid told me, also the President is a gay muslim socialist (sidebar: like how can tabloids just say, anything they want, it’s like they are fueling stupidity at alarming rates)..  Anyway, when the engagement was announced my twitter feed in true Reed Richards fashion reached as far as they could to change the narrative.  “Kim’s engaged but your babydaddy don’t even follow you”, “Golddigger jokes”, and of course “you can’t turn a hoe into a housewife”.  My reaction, well, I don’t care that much, Kanye got his dream girl now hopefully she can open up the doors to high fashion that he can’t so he can make another “My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy” and less electronic grunge frustration music. I actually love “Yeezus” I rather not get another one. 

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That concludes the pop culture segment of this post, now for what I really wanted to speak on, the idea of what’s a hoe or heaux, I feel cajun.  Kim was in a couple high profile relationships, she wasn’t exactly just being passed around the industry, Hi Rihanna.  By that metric, we’re all heauxs right?  We all go through that phase where we everything at the wall (maybe a person or two…giggity) and see what sticks.  I had my phase, it makes about 65% of this blog material, being the other guy, cheating in general, dating multiple people at once, being cougar chow, FWBs, one night stands, 18-22 year old me really wasn’t sh t.  I’ve accepted that whomever I end up with will likely have a past unless Apple or Google figures out time travel. I can only hope she’s honest and forthcoming about it as I intend to be and we will move on from there. 

This brings me to a long while back and a barbershop debate being had.  This guy was engaged to this woman Shaniece (she had a few nicknames i won’t repeat, i didnt know her personally “she was befo yo time youngblood”, but everyone in the hood done heard a Shaniece story, i hope she moves before her kids get older).  This guy must’ve really like their haricuts because I would’ve Riley Coopered and fought every ninja there, bro.  I would’ve got a fade and delivered one. Anyway, one of the old heads came to his defense with a story about his wife, how she too had a reputation but she grew, matured from it all, “they make the best wives, they’re humble” (the pg version of the quote, he really said something about how a certain body part in a mouth teaches humility).  Makes sense in theory, well not him per se, but the overall premise, we grown why would I be concerned with what others think or heard? 

All aren’t built like that; they let their relationships crumble do to outside noise .001% of the level Knorth by North West’s parents face.  Now, are there some trifling women you ought to run from, of course, but to be naive to think you the only one she did that to, she’s in your bed because of your incredible seduction, or everyone has some agenda is just silly.  I rather be with a woman who owns her past than the one who hides from it, acceptance is growth, aversion is hinderance.

-Stan-         

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Today’s Word is… NEXT

There’s few places like the barbershop.  It’s the daytime gentleman’s club, the man cave, the original #blacktwitter.  Over the years, I’ve heard it all in the barbershop from when I was a kid to now.  Of course back then I was just laughing when they did just to fit in, now I’m a grown man who not only knows exactly what they talking about, but equipped with a few tales of my own to tell. So during my last visit, the topic broached…well I surely can’t say it here.  I will say the shop was evenly split between pro and against.  Team Pro debated valiantly and close their argument with the age old defense:

“What you won’t do, the next one will”

This mantra I typically see hurled towards women, that you must always have your head on a swivel because they outchea plotting on you, is something I’ve only half agreed with. While I agree that in a relationship you should always continue to evolve and never assume their satisfaction, the next one will logic is flawed.  One should be driven to please their partner not just who else might could.  S/Os don’t play defense. 

Bringing it back to the barbershop, the discussion switched to the man, the myth, the legend; the “next man”.  The next man, side dude, dirty mack, mister-ess etc, is an interesting character.  He serves different purposes to the relationship. Obviously to her, he’s the complementary piece, what she’s not getting from her she will get from him.  Attention, affection, affirmation. However, the next man is always a role player at best.  No matter how many voids he fills, and even though studies suggest women who are unfaithful typically develop some true feelings for the other man, he’s just the complement, rarely a real threat to the incumbent. Been there.

As for the man, his job to make him extremely uncomfortable.  Men are ego driven, if she was to leave for any reason, the last thing a man wants is another man.  There’s nothing more humbling than losing your queen to a personified Trey Songz record.  With that, it was the next man who got men to wear thighs like Bane masks, the next man who threw back throwbacks (sorry Hov), the next man who got you banging out that extra set at the gym, the next man made you want to learn how to cook. The next man continues to set the bar higher and higher and forces you to adjust to the new market.  He’s a necessary evil, as without him enters comfort, a gift and a curse.  There has to be a healthy fear that if you’re not handling business, you’ll become expendable. 

Here comes the M. Night Shyamalan plot twist. The “next man” represents what she’s not getting from her man, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s another man she’s getting it from. The “next man” can be freedom, a clean slate, being able to trust again. That is what makes the next man the ultimate temptation, and while she must resist, the man mustn’t make it too easy.  The other grass will always look greener when you’re not watering yours. The next man is always lurking in the shadows waiting for that 3rd missed call, waiting for you to not notice that new haitstyle, waiting for you to say “nah, I :don’t do that”.  

So how legitimate of a threat is the next man? As legitimate as you let him be.  There’s a reason Mark Sanchez and Kyle Orton kept hearing Tim Tebow’s footsteps while the Peyton Mannings and Tom Bradys chilling out miaxing relaxing all cool.  If I know I’m doing everything I’m supposed to be, there’s no need to be out here overcompensating like some of my fellow barbershop patrons.  I respect the respect the game, that should be it, what the next man eat….

-Stan-
   

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