Tag Archives: 20something

Today’s Word is… TRAVEL


It was a little while back, I had just got my annual review, there was some stuff about how I need to network and communicate more and yeah yeah, where that bag at?  I had a pretty good idea of what I was going to do with this bonus, I was going to take a trip.  Take my entry level Spanish to Barcelona, maybe go to London and find my future ex wife, go post up in Santorini like Rick Ross (apparently everybody went to Greece this year because there’s so many pictures on social media now), Tokyo always seemed like a cool place to visit, or I can go back to the Motherland…well, I ain’t get THAT much.  (Seriously though, a $1000 flight to Accra is white supremacy).   At this moment, I’m determined to do this and I’m going to go solo, no time like the present and I don’t want to be held back by anyone else.  I look up vacation packages ($250 single surcharge is also white supremacy, because reasons).  I look up flights and tried not to be turned off by the flight times, I’m sure I can find half a xan somewhere.  Then trying to find a hotel and plan an itinerary…I need a vacation from planning a vacation already.  I just started a new project I can’t just leave for a week, and so I delay it a few months…and a few more…that turns into well, let’s see next year but then the reality hit me that, I just don’t really want to.


When you’re young, single, childless and have a few extra pennies you’re supposed to travel, broaden your horizons, take in some culture, it’s what makes you a more well rounded individual and makes that “loves to travel” line in your Tinder bio not bullshit.  It’s not that I’m opposed to it completely, I just don’t care that much.  As someone who is very interested in art and history, there’s so much in the world I would love to see. Perhaps I just need a travel agent or about a 30% pay increase because I’m just not disciplined enough to save.  I don’t get up and work every day just to eventually have enough money to walk around Europe for a week.   Shrug life.  However, when you say that out loud it’s like when someone expresses a desire not to get married or have kids; you’re expected to aspire to travel even if you never do.  So even if you end up flying over 2 days, staying in a hostel and only get 27 likes on your picture so now you have to repost 3 more times with the “take me baaaaack” caption because how the hell did your banana bread get more likes than fucking Patong beach, it’s worth it because now you have an anecdote.  It’s become a status symbol; “I don’t spend money on material goods, I pay for experiences” meanwhile you barely left the resort.  Travel is a hobby, either you’re into it or you’re not but some people just need to feel superior.  People stress traveling in your 20s ironically implying that it’s something irresponsible and should be done before you start adulting adulting in your 30s even though you would be more stable and more comfortable then.  I’d much rather travel in the next few years, than have scratched and clawed my way years ago just to say I’ve been.

I have friends who love to travel, they come back and their stories and photos at best make me think about seeing for myself.  It’s hard not to log on social media see your peers “living their best life” all over and feel like you’re slacking.   But I live my best life in my apartment catching up on TV and buying shit I don’t need on Amazon Prime.  I can afford to travel, just not quite on my terms yet so what’s the rush?  (Well who knows with Toupee Fiasco…I might just hurry up and get to Cuba while I still can) Right now, international travel that just feels more trouble than it’s worth.   I’ve probably taken about a dozen smaller, domestic trips in the last year or so because ‘Merica still has plenty of offer. (Well, maybe like 3 more cities than I’m done).  That isn’t to dissuade others, if you have the travel bug by all means scratch it and go as far as your budget allows and make sure you’re doing it for yourself and not the ‘Gram.  We don’t care. I promise.


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Today’s Word is… UNCHOSE


The first time I came home from work to an empty apartment, realizing I was the one who didn’t take chicken out to thaw; because no one else lives here anymore

SO, this is life now?

The first time I stumbled into said empty apartment from drunken shenanigans, fell out on my bed fully dressed, spread out and was like…

So, THIS is life now?

The first time I had to buy condoms declined plans because I wasn’t trying to go alone

So, this IS life now?

The first time I got the thanks but no thanks text not long after a few dates I thought went fairly well…

So, this is LIFE now?

(Quick aside: She even spelled my name wrong in said curve text, no respeck on my name…It wasn’t even like I was that into her but it was the like the first time I got curved in like a good 6 years, I hope she falls down steps. On principle.  Just kidding. Mostly.)

Chilling at a family function, seeing my immediate family all with their respective spouses/baes and there I was with a phone and a drink realizing that EYE was the single one.

So, this is life NOW

See, I’m just a bachelor *Ginuwine voice*.  By happenstance. I’m not grinding, working on me, taking myself off the market because someone auntie told me that love comes when I least expect it so technically I’m not looking yet I am still looking with one eye (No Fetty). I’m single because I am, and I don’t need any of the excuses single people use to say to the(ir blogs)mselves that they are good with being single.  

I’m also not tripping off being single; besides no one wants to hear the siren of the young, iight looking and unchose.  Hell, even I hate it. Even so I typically get the same platitudes of “psssh you’re young”, “one day”, or “this could be us but you playing”.  They would be correct but I’m not trying to hear that either. 

Single has its highs and lows and it seems in this day and age, you gotta pick a side and roll with it.  Whether its the person who is always miserable about being unchose or the one who swears pizza, porn and Netflix is all they need in life…they are equally annoying. They both would fare better  somewhere in the middle, where you’re not throwing yourself at anything yet still leaving the house looking like you remotely care. I like to think I’m in that middle largely with some days I’m feeling more column A or B, that’s just how life works. 

So, this life is now… I can have 3 dates in a week or barely leave the house. I can leave town to turn up for a couple days just cause.  I can see a cute baby on the train and it fuck up my day.  I can redeem some of these birthday dinner offers.  I can finally see what is so special about Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.  I can see if a LDR is worth the hassle.  I can look in her eyes and see all the possibilities. I can hear her favorite song and wonder if she’s well.  I can join an online dating site for longer than 3 hours.  I can check my lease and see if I can get a puppy. I can chat up the girl at happy hour or I can lurk her timeline for subtweets.  I can just live my life, essentially. 


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Filed under Dating, Love, Relationships

Today’s Word is… OLDHEAD



It was a nice spring evening, a cold winter night, I sweltering summer day, a brisk fall late afternoon, you could take your pick.  I would walk up the steps to my apartment, shuffling through the mail that seemed to arrive as late as I did.  Greet the neighbor across the hall, as I anxiously tried to get my keys in the door to end this awkward, obligatory conversation sooner than later.  The kitchen was the first room, and I would set the mail on the dining room table and walk either to the bedroom or living room where my girlfriend awaited me.  She’d greet me with a kiss before returning to her blunt and whatever show she was watching.  All them Bravo shows looked alike.  She’d ask about my day, I seldom had an answer for her; work was work…the excitement of my day came from shenanigans on twitter or my commute.  She’d volunteer that she hadn’t been home long, which was code for “I forgot to take something to thaw”.  I didn’t want to be “where’s my dinner, woman” guy so it was a struggle to not be visibly bothered by things like this.  I wasn’t that guy, she wasn’t that woman to stay and take care of house and home, but by circumstance that’s where we were.  She did need to be more responsible, but I definitely needed to chill a bit.  I was turning into my father. At 22.

It wasn’t where I saw myself in my early 20s, fretting about bills, working two jobs to support a pseudowife and no kids.  Most of my friends still lived at home, at worst they had a cell phone to pay for.  Hanging with them became a chore as well.  Not much changed since we were kids, come over, chill watch tv, play video games, try and bring some girls through…except we weren’t kids anymore, I lost the desire to be up in somebody’s mama house like I don’t got all this shit at home.  Post up on the block, for who for what?   But, what else was there to do?  Video games, just kicking back watching the game, clubbing…isn’t that what I’m supposed to be doing? So why did I feel so out of place now?  Have I outgrown my life?  Maybe, I was the one tripping or maybe I needed to expand my circle.

Except….I don’t necessarily fit in with the older crowd as well.  They’re married with kids, and running ball might be the most freedom they get all week.  Trust no one plays harder than a 35 year old man who really doesn’t want to go home.  Then there’s older women….well that’s another post. okay I’m lying. I ain’t writing that shit.  But the constant remains the same, I’m not posting up on the block but I’m also don’t want to have to rent my nephew because YOUR party is a kids party until 9:48pm.  So I’m too old for my peers, too young for the oldheads…where does that actually leave me?

Fast forward to now.  I still feel a little too damn old for my own good sometimes, but I’m in a better place with it.  I still get up with my round the way folks, provided there’s something going on.  I’m down to hang with the old heads, provided its happy hour.  My next relationship will advance at a steady pace and I won’t rush to play house.  I’m free to go out where I can find myself waking up on the subway at the end of the line with a dead phone, no cabs and not a clear idea which way was home.  (I’m writing this now, so clearly I didn’t die.)  I can do so, with no wife and kids waiting for me, no one to explain myself to.  I can spend money on Jordans if I want to, I just choose not to.  I don’t think I’m “washed” but I enjoy a Friday night in.  I’ll still eat pizza rolls and beer for dinner when I don’t feel like cooking, I really don’t care about other peoples kids that aren’t blood, I suck at bowling and golfing and I listen to a lot of trash music.  I guess I’m not really into that old head life just yet.  Except with alcohol. I left trash liquor in the 2000s.


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