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Today’s Word is… WHITE

8/5/17 (Day 270)- In Philly for a few days (which makes me 3/3 for showing up to cities and seeing a damn Trump tower) and of course when in Rome you do the whole touristy thing.  Philadelphia is not much unlike Boston in that they really play up the Colonial days.  Perhaps even more so, because it’s freedom this, freedom that, I mean slavery was legal here but on the low tho we rode for the cause.  I’m surprised they haven’t renamed the city Freedomdelphia.   Then reality sets in.  You  look at the actual Declaration of Independence and remember that you wasn’t “all men”, the Constitution applies to you, until it doesn’t.  Freedomdelphians come from all over the country to see documents and symbols that aren’t for you.  Humbling.  This is America through white gaze, a scrappy little country that could and ultimately did.  While to me, it’s more like the fuckboy who got his act together slightly enough for the next one but still has plenty of the same old bad habits.  You try to explain that America still ain’t change but they  lalalalalala can’t hear you over all of this freedom, why you so bitter?  

8/8/17 (Day 273)- So on today’s episode of The Apprentice, Toupee Fiasco just threatened North Korea.   Like, we need an adult yo.  It’s not that I have any doubt they if it came down to it, America can give North Korea the fade but at what cost? Lives? Nukes? Reelection? 

8/12/17 (Day 277)- So remember how last week I said Freedomdelphia was how doe eyed white people see America? Charlottesville is the other side of that.  White people who claim they too are oppressed; because by capitalism. Oh never mind they are marching to save a Confederate statue.  With Tiki torches. And Nazi salutes. And anti semetic chants. It’s the opposite end of the spectrum,  Freedomdelphians are so privileged they view every increment of progress as resolved, Tiki Torchers are so privileged they view every increment of progress as oppression.  The irony is we aren’t even close to equality, we at eo still building the q.  How are we already at Klan rallies, we couldn’t get to equa first?  Why are these new Nazis so pressed? Outside of losing your job for saying the #inward or wearing blackface, the world is your fucking oyster.

8/13/17 (Day 278)- Cantaloupe Caillou has called out Obama, Hillary, war heroes, mayor of London, CNN, Morning Joe, Colin Kaepernick, Washington Post, the NY Times, Hamilton: The Musical, Mac Miller, The Terminator, North Korea, Venezuela, Jeff Sessions, James Comey, Nordstrom, Django Unchained,  NBC, China, Mexico, Judges, Congress…. But when it’s white supremacists literally marching in his name suddenly he’s vague.  Where’s the sound and fury?  It makes me think about all the times Obama would give a platitude and people would get frustrated because he wouldn’t say how he really felt because he was the black President but not the BLACK President.  Now I see Toupee Fiasco unwilling to condemn Nazis who ran down a protester.  Even as there’s a clear and obvious side to take, #their man’s takes  “many”.  White privilege displayed at the highest level of government. So again, why exactly are they mad? 

8/15/17 (Day 280)-  So a day after offering a condemnation of racists that was on par with Martin Payne’s first marriage proposal…he doubles back and again blames both sides.  The fuck is an “alt-left” there’s Nazis and people who say fuck Nazis. This isn’t a debate like drums or flats.  At least now, the bluff has been called.  Twitler has aligned himself with white supremacists, and any and every one who supports him supports that. Reagan had the courtesy to dog whistle, to give himself and his supporters an “I’m not racist, but…” shield to hide behind.  The Tangerine Tyrant and his Tiki Torch troupe are out and shameless about theirs, and now the safety pin wearers are forced to come out and pretend they were duped like they didn’t know this is what this always was.  Far as I’m concerned the red hat and the MAGA sign are swastikas now and society should treat it accordingly. 

8/17/17 (Day 282)- White people still showing their ass about these Confederate statues like we don’t still got slave owners on the money.  Doth protests too much. Suddenly it’s about preserving history, because not revering Confederate generals is the same as if they were taken against their will and had their lives erased.  Removing Confederate statues isn’t erasing history, we will never forget the fact that white people went to war against their own military because they couldn’t own other human beings anymore. That is a fact.  These statues were erected during Jim Crow not as a reverence for American history but a tribute to whiteness.  Trump is from New York telling a crowd in Arizona that he will protect their “culture”, y’all ain’t even go there.  Clearly this isn’t about Southern pride. Ain’t y’all “the party of Lincoln” (when it’s convenient to say)  anyway?, So is it Oochie Wally or is it One Mic. 

8/18/17 (Day 283)- SPOILER ALERT

(so you know how on House of Cards, Frank realizes that the power isn’t in the Presidency but it’s in the shadows with access to the Presidency.  That’s pretty much how I view this Steve Bannon firesignation. He ain’t really going anywhere he’s just hot right now.  Maybe he can go cure that Greyscale while he’s gone) 

8/20/17 (Day 285)- The President’s a hack, my student loans due is this World War 3 or Civil War 2…the former. This week. While racial tensions at home remain thicker than Serena, which has made us all forget that Sesame Tweet threatened North Korea 2 weeks ago and then China responded with a “bitch, try it”; Dolt45 comes out to announce he plans to send more troops to Afghanistan because… reasons. It’s pointless to bring up that spent the past 5 years calling for the withdrawal of troops but for the last 5 years he was just the dude from the Apprentice.  Apparently, he’s already live tweeted his entire presidency*.  He’s the Three Eyed Racist.  

8/22/17 (Day 287)-  According to an ABC/WaPo poll, 10% of Americans support the alt right (Nazi) movement.  That’s 16.4 million people, about 25% of Trump voters. (as far as I’m concerned 4 out of 4 of them are).  Then there’s the people with “no opinion” (Freedomdelphians) who if you’re not against you might as well be with, silence is violence B.  This is what happens when people feel emboldened by their Klansman-in-Chief. 

8/25/17 (Day 290)- Sheriff Joe Arpaio terrorized the Latino community.  Racial profiling, concentration camps, shackled a woman and forced her to give birth, refused to investigate sex crimes committed against immigrants, refused to feed or treat prisoners many of whom he rounded up for existing while brown.  In November, Hillary called out Trump for even supporting him. And today Orange Foolius pardoned him, because he “kept Arizona safe”.  Even after Charlottesville, the Hate Pumpkin isn’t even lowkey anymore.  Then again, why would one expect him to be, he said he was going to build a wall to keep the Mexicans out and now we here. 

8/27/17 (Day 292)- …and speaking of that damn wall, will that be cash, credit, or government shutdown? According to 2peé Shakur, Mexico will reimburse which is basically saying the check is in the mail. The cynic in me almost wants the wall as a testament to how divided and hateful this country truly is. Then you see Houston underwater and remember that Conman Twitty slashed the coast guards budget to try and pay for the wall.  You remember that behind every stupid tweet, blatant lie, poor decision, empty threat… Real lives are at stake.   When disaster strikes you need a real leader not the jackass who posts memes and tries to look at the sun.  

8/29/17 (Day 294)- The President and First Lady arrive in Texas, oh wait it’s just Pumpkin Spice Putin and his escort.   Now I’m not going to politicize a natural disaster who would do something so crass.  Trump supporters, of course. 

8/31/17 (Day 296)- Why are we still here? Honestly.  Approval ratings in the toilet, CEOs from tech, labor, entertainment, sports are all running for the hills, every week someone getting fired, Mueller is still working on his investigation, North Korea still wants the fade, can’t afford the wall, couldn’t repeal Obamacare, Muslim ban flopped, and now Nazis trying to party like it’s 1939.  Everyone knows he collided with Russia it’s about the worst kept secret since Cersei/Jamie’s incest affair.  Seriously, whatever this…Presidency as been, failed.  So, why are we still here?  If/when DonaLLLLLd falls, will anyone make a sound.  75% of his supporters only love him in private like an ugly girlfriend.  Or so we’re led to believe.  Condemning Trump in public does nothing for me, that happened all election cycle and ultimately it was 306-232.  

-Stan-

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Today’s Word is… TRUCULENT 

Previously on the Trumpocalypse:

Chapter I: How Sway

Chapter II: No, really how?

Chapter III: So, this is happening huh

Chapter IV: So this is a joke right

Chapter V: For real stop playing

Chapter VI: So, it isn’t?

Chapter VII: Damn.

6/5/17 (Day 209)- As the world comes together to share condolences and support for the United Kingdom after a horrific attack, leaders from France, Germany, Canada…do what you expect, thoughts and prayers, reach out if you need our support in any way yada yada yada. Then, there’s our “leader”, Truculent Tangerine, who decides to say fuck it, mask off and call out the mayor Sadiq Khan of London on a quote out of context, then upon getting the full statement, accuses him of backtracking and the media for running with it because that makes far more sense than he simply misread the statement.  It’s also not lost on me that if London’s mayor was a white man named Tiddlyham Bumbershoot and not Muslim Sadiq Khan, he probably doesn’t say anything.  Surely, his supporters have to find antagonizing a Mayor after a terror attack low class right?  Nope.

6/8/17 (Day 212)- It’s kind of wild everyone stopped what they were doing to watch the Comey hearing as if it was the NBA Finals.  It was also kinda wild that in this one instance, we were rooting for the fed.  That’s where we are now, if Putin just came out and said he has Trump under his thumb we’d probably put him on the $10 bill.  (As an aside, where the hell are my Tubman 20s, are we still getting them, can Dolt 45 ruin that sorta thing because he seems like the type who would ruin that sort of thing).  Comey knew to keep notes because when someone shows you who they are, believe them.  If the Director of the FBI couldn’t tell when a man is lying to their face, perhaps a career change was in order.  He also figured knowing the President tried to bribe him was far more useful to him than telling someone the President tried to bribe him, because he’s still a fed B.  Surely, his supporters have to be taken aback that the President fired the FBI director for investigating him?  Nope.

6/15/17 (Day 219)- “We are all Steve Scalise today” – Paul Ryan

“I’m David Duke without the baggage” – Steve Scalise

Issa no for me dawg.   But you know, thoughts and prayers for everyone else tho. Stop the violence and all that.

6/16/17 (Day 220)- I’m always fascinated by what makes politicians decide to run for President and when, especially people who should know they have little to no chance to win.  Like did Mitt Romney actually think he was going to unseat a popular incumbent? Why did you even try, “Bobby” Jindal?  Trump can’t actually be serious, right?  That was my thought 2 years ago, when Mango Mussolini announced his decision to run.  He called Mexicans murderers and rapists and promised to build a giant wall on the border.  Everything about it was absurd.  He should’ve been laughed off the stage like it was Showtime at the Apollo. Yet here we are 2 years later, he’s presently on Twitter talking about Hillary’s emails like he didn’t already win the election 220 days ago.  Surely, his supporters gotta be over this Hillary thing by now?  Nope.

6/20/17 (Day 224)- Meanwhile at the lair, McConnell nem are trying to pass a healthcare bill, no one knows what’s in it, no one knows how much it will cost, and they want it done by the 4th of July because they got shit to do.  No committees, no debates, no reading the fine print.  Yeaaaaah…that doesn’t sound suspicious at all.  I almost envy how efficient the Republicans are sometimes.  They are the Golden State Warriors of greed.  Imagine if they actually worked for the people with that same vigor.  Even if they are thwarted in 2018 and 2020, I’m sure they’ll find their way back and will raise hell if they can’t.  Democrats…they have the moral high ground and not much else.

6/24/17 (Day 228)- If a tree falls in the middle of the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?  If up til now you were adamant that Russian hacks weren’t real, but now there’s an opportunity to pin them on Obama, does Trump tweet? Of course he does.  Because he doesn’t have to be consistent about anything other than being a white man.  Could Obama had hit Russia back harder? Been more vocal about it? Probably.  Instead, he trusted the people and the process that made him the President because that’s always been who is, for better or worse.  Perhaps, like 94% of black women and 82% of black men, he simply was unaffected at all by those hacks that seemed to sway soooo many otherwise non bigoted white people.  They were just so offended by those emails that they voted against their own best interests.   Yup, it’s all Russia’s fault.

6/29/17 (Day 233)- Just the President twitter beefing with the hosts of Morning Joe because he tried to blackmail them with a National Enquirer story in exchange of more favorable coverage.   He then attacked Mika Brzezinski’s looks because he’s a 71 year old frat boy.  NOW, people seem to be outraged because these types of shenanigans are beneath the office of the President.  You know what else was beneath the office of the President? The guy from the Apprentice with no political experience.  The only thing Persimmon Putin has been consistent on, is being trash.  Why act surprised now?

7/2/17 (Day 236)- Today in American History

  • 1776- Congress votes on Independence
  • 1881- President Garfield is shot
  • 1921- President Harding declares end of war with Germany
  • 1964- President Lyndon B Johnson signs Civil Rights Act
  • 2017- President Twitler tweets a gif of him being up CNN

Happy Birthday America.

-Stan-

 

 

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Today’s Word is… APPRENTICE 

Previously on the Trumpocalypse:

Wait, wtf you mean he won?

The Cheeto-Elect

The NAHguration

Don’t Trust Race Bannon!

“Issa Con”

4/1/17 (Day 145)- Last year on April Fool’s Day I posted a picture in a wedding band with no context.  When it escalated to the point that my pastor grandfather was congratulating me, it was like okay, party’s over.  I wake up today and Donald Trump, the duck facing billionaire from the Apprentice, is the President of the United States and it feels like a joke that’s gone too far.  Like, we can’t seriously have him meeting with other world leaders, he can’t actually be our commander-in-chief, this didn’t ACTUALLY happen right?  I guess I’m waiting for this Russian hammer to fall so he gets put away and we go back to normalcy.  President Trump still feels like an oxymoron to me.  My President is Frank Underwood.

4/3/17 (Day 147)- One of the few things, I’ve enjoyed throughout this is watching the internet fall in love with Maxine Waters.  As other Dems have made their peace with the idea that America elected a con man, she seems to be the only one who is like “Nah, this shit isn’t normal”.  Toupee Fiasco rose to power on,”there’s no time to be politically correct” so it’s only fitting his detractors don’t just bow down out of respect for the office and call him out on his BS.  (glances over at “revolutionary” Bernie Sanders and his hive).  At 78, it’s much too late for an Auntie Maxine 2020 shirt but she has been a silver lining throughout all of this.  Favorite Maxine since Shaw.   (She’s a Living Single character, white readers….basically it was our version of Friends…that happened to air first…funny how that happens, huh?)


4/6/17 (Day 150)- So we just bombed Syria for bombing Syrians to send a message to not bomb Syrians, and for having bombs in Syria in the first place.  The very thing Orange Foolius warned President Obama not to do. (Apparently, before deciding to take up Presidency as a hobby all he did was tweet out hot takes like a political Skip Bayless which no one paid attention to because why would we care what the guy from The Apprentice thought about anything this important is what we said to ourselves in 2013…yet here we are *sigh*).

4/7/17 (Day 151) PLOT TWIST: Syria knew it was coming and got anything valuable out of the way.  Because Russia tipped them off.  Meanwhile, our state department found out the same time we did.  By the way, Nacho Nazi ordered this strike from his vacation home while hosting the President of China and discussing North Korea.  Again, we can’t have the guy from the Apprentice doing important things? This is precisely what I was talking about.  Lettuce prey.

4/8/17 (Day 152)- Neil Gorsuch confirmed.  Sometimes I wonder why Democrats don’t act more like Republicans, money hungry, masochist, corrupt as they may be…they get shit done.  They deboed President Obama’s constitutional right to name a Supreme Court Justice, just because they could.  The fact that the Supreme fucking Court has become political is disheartening and scary.  Someone check on Ruth Bader Ginsberg, get her some fruit or something.

4/11/17 (Day 155)- I’m at the gym, headphones in I glance up at the TV and I see the headline “Presidential Mis-Spokesman”.  I thought oh its the Daily Show; nope CBS Evening News with Scott Pelley.  Even the unbiased network news mocks this administration. Again, it all feels like a joke that has carried on too long.  Also…shouldn’t Spicer be better at his job.  Fox News has built an empire on lies and hyperbole. Meanwhile, Mango Mussolini managed (alliteration ftw) to find the one dude who is as unfit for his job as he is.  
4/13/17 (Day 157)- So, remember how I was saying we don’t need to have the guy from the Apprentice doing important things?  Twitter-Fingers-in-Chief just dropped a MOAB, a bomb so obnoxiously large I’m shocked it didn’t have “Trump” on it, on Afghanistan.  In true Trump fashion, full of sound and fury but signifying nothing.   Meanwhile, he didn’t even remember he bombed Syria last week, however he remembers the chocolate cake he had for dessert that night.  I just…..where is Mike Pence?
4/15/17 (Day 159)- Perhaps, an unpopular opinion….I don’t give a fuck about 2pée Shakur’s tax returns.  Especially when he’s bombed 2 countries in 2 weeks while threatening another.  It’s like the Chicago protest, or the women’s march…do it when it matters.  What will you do if he never releases his tax returns…not elect him? Because I mean, he didn’t and well, we saw what happened.  Not much unlike Drake after the ghostwriter rumors; he dared you to care and you didn’t.  So take your ass home. Hug your family.  (Because North Korea ain’t playing) Happy Easter.

4/19/17 (Day 163)- I didn’t expect Tom Brady to make the trip to the White House; he may have “He’s my friend” money, but Giselle got “go sit your ass down somewhere” money. Big bank take little bank.  It made me wonder if I would actually turn down an invitation to the White House.  I would be half curious what he would have to say to me, but half afraid of what I would say to him.  The way he just effortlessly lies to people’s faces it would drive me up the wall.  Maybe I’d just go for the experience and pretend I was there in 2016.

4/21/17 (Day 165)- It’s futile to compare President Obama and Sunkist Stalin at this point; they not in the same league don’t shoot at the same basket.  However as Trump nears the 100 day mark, the failure is epic.  William Henry Harrison might’ve gotten more done in his first 100 days and he was dead for 69 of them.  100 days in of Obama, we had the Lilly Ledbetter act for equal pay, the stimulus package, 19 executive orders.  100 days of Tweety Bird, he’s done nothing of what he’s promised.  Because of course he didn’t.  Objectively speaking, the 100 day mark IS not a great measuring tool, FDR set an unrealistic bar in very desperate times.  However, Trump has simply tried and failed spectacularly no wall, no ban, no tax reform, no infrastructure only thing he has done was pick a Supreme Court justice he had no business picking in the first place.
4/24/17 (Day 168)- He’s baaaaack.  After taking months to live his best life like an ex girlfriend would, President Obama has returned to the US almost on cue as we near 100 days of ineptitude under the great Trumpkin.  It’s almost like that scene in Lion King when Simba returns to Pride Rock and it’s all desolate.  Simba at least got to fight for his spot back, Obama just about to hit us with the

and keep it moving.  Honestly, as he should…I wouldn’t even come back. 

 
4/28/17 (Day 178)- LIKE. CLOCKWORK. Obama has been back in the public eye for a few days and suddenly people are losing their minds over a reported $400K speaking fee for a Wall Street firm.  Nevermind the actual President is currently rolling back regulations (that Obama put in place) that make it possible for these firms to blow $400K on a pep talk in the first place. Nevermind it costs $400K to protect the first lady because she just doesn’t feel like living with her husband.  Nope, let’s hold private citizen Obama to a higher standard than President Business.  It’s like no one learned from caring so much about emails they ignored Russian collusion.  Have we learned nothing?  Apparently so.  

4/29/17 (Day 179)- We’ve reached the official 100th Day.  And it turns out…he didn’t do anything he promised. Apparently, he didn’t realize it would be this difficult.  It’s like that show Pros vs Joes, when they would put self proclaimed great athletes against retired professional athletes and it went over about as well as you expected.  That’s Trump, he talked all that talk on Twitter and now he’s in the chair way out of his element, because he’s not a politician. He’s the guy from the Apprentice.  God help us all.
-Stan-

 

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Today’s Word is… SHARING 

It was about a decade ago (fuck, I’m old)…I had broken up with my college girlfriend.  I was so sick of love songs and I had to make the song cry all of that.  So then came time to make the breakup official for the 99 and the 07, the Facebook relationship status change. I was still new to the Facebook thing so when I did it, I didn’t know that it would literally be announced to the whole school.  With a photo we were tagged in together.  Stupid Facebook. I guess it served me right, I was obnoxious about my relationship.  I went through high school largely unchose and then I actually pulled a bad one? Mama I made it!  She wasn’t as obnoxious but she liked me so she let me cook.  But now…it was over.  And the whole school (#altfacts it was pretty much just all the black freshmen on a campus of 28,000) knew.  Stan did that so hopefully you don’t have to go through that.

In this social media age, where is the line drawn between over sharing and secrecy?  Or as the stweets would call it, stay low and build.  It feels like we’ve broken off into two camps, people who cant stop sharing and people who treat their relationships like a covert op.  We all our roll eyes at the oversharer, you know the person who snapchats their entire day, posts screenshots of their intimate conversations and you’re like can you just log off and go suck his dick or something?  It reeks of overcompensation.  Then there’s people who fool and flirt all day and you find out on Valentine’s Day they’ve actually been married for 5 years.

With me, I guess I’m somewhere in the middle.  I literally write about my life, sometimes the people in it come up in the conversation sometimes they don’t.   If you’ve been reading a while, you’ll notice a new nickname pop up and then a few months later they are upstairs with Judy Winslow.  *Pour out some tequila for Tequila*  I’ve also gotten in trouble for not acknowledging enough and purporting myself as single. My friends and family know when I’m seeing someone, even y’all might catch a hint or two but outward declarations of this is bae….nah, we gotta be really serious.
It’s not because I care if people knows I’ve broken up with someone.  Its not like when I marry someone, Ima decide to talk down on “wack” single people meanwhile my wife hasn’t touched me in weeks, and then when I get divorced get in my feelings when someone points out the irony of it all.  I was embarrassed by the Facebook breakup because I was ostentatious about it, I was embarrassed by another one because mainly because it ended very ugly, oh and the whole supposed to get married thing.  Everyone else, I mean it sucked but I was licking my own wounds and not pressed on what strangers thought.  People break up everyday, B.  I think I share with a healthy balance, I’m not ashamed of anyone I’ve been with, and I also don’t need to document every moment like I’ve never had someone before.

Moral of the story,  just be real about it. The ones who take breakups the hardest publicly usually do because the relationship was never about them and they knew it.  Just like that relationship in college was more about my #selfofsteam than it was ever about her.  (But that’s another post entirely).  If you find yourself projecting or being so lowkey and paranoid that you won’t acknowledge someone until “I do”, perhaps some soul searching is in order.  Shrug life.

-Stan-

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Today’s Word is… APPRECIATION

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I like Valentine’s Day, it follows my typical formula of favorite holidays: positive, inclusive and not historically linked to white oppression.  I enjoy the holiday for what it is even though I haven’t had the most luck with it personally; I mean there was the time I was blown off so she could attend her godson’s birthday party with her ex, the time it got ruined because I wouldn’t tell her how much I tipped the attractive waitress, oh and the time when a certain someone went on about how she never got flowers before, I don’t just go and get some red roses, nah that’s basic I get a custom bouquet in her favorite colors, and she basically like these are very pretty, good looks fam.  You know how hard it is to track down some lilies in fucking February…wait, why do I like this day again?  Oh, I guess I love love and shit.  Ultimately, Valentine’s Day is about appreciating your partner, something that gets lost in the sauce, lost in the game so often.  Especially for my brethren.  Where the love, B?  Do men even get Valentine’s Day gifts?  Is that a thing? They have man crates now…it’s basically a gift basket but because of fragile masculinity they put it in a crate and you can open it with a crowbar.  This is really a thing.

Man Crates….yeah, well….YOU’RE A gift basket.

We seem to have reached two extremes, women who act as though their mere presence is appreciation and well, #PickMe twitter. The former, you take her on a weekend getaway for your anniversary and she might swallow and call it even.  The latter, you text a compliment and she might write an entire essay about how she prayed for this kind of love.  I can’t deal with neither; just give me something in the middle.

So, how do you show a man some appreciation?  Hell, I’m not even entirely sure how I want to be appreciated.  For the most part, I equate access with appreciation.  “I wouldn’t be out with you if I didn’t like you” or “You’ve done UVWXY and Z and I’m still dealing with your ass” were kinda hard to argue with.  Sex was even harder. (cuz you know people all place different value on sex and all that other stuff I don’t feel like getting into right now, maybe another post, probably not though).  I would say that’s how it goes for most men, we are affirmed by access whether its a phone number, accepting a date or a come thru. For the most part we carry on in relationships where we’re validated but maybe not valued if that makes any sense.   I would also say for most men their love language is physical touch, (but shoutout to the men like, yeah sex is lit but I like gifts more though…I can respeck it).  I’m a touch and quality time guy myself, so there’s not much complaining on my end either.

I dug a little deeper and asked a handful of women, without using sex how would they show a man they appreciated him.   The answers varied from simply telling him to wait why can’t we have sex again (gotta love the pick mes yo).  The most common answer, food.  I was expecting more genuine compliments, support their hobbies, thank yous, affirmations…you know, to bust the myth that a man is so simple all he needs is sex, food, and peace.  But the more I think about it…that’s a solid hand.  Maybe we are that simple.  Quality time is cool and all but turns out my love language is actually pasta.  So I guess this valentines day, show that special someone how special they are…feed them.  Or I guess, you can just get the nigga a man crate.

-Stan-

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Today’s Word is… SUPERCALLOUSMISOGYNISTICRACISTNAZIPOTUS

So first, I’m sure that is and will be the longest word in the history of SFW.  And second, I swore I was going to take a Trump break but well, it’s been a long week.  This….is…the…remix.  

           

1/22/17 (Day 75) – So I read the inauguration speech, because the sound of Mango Mousellini’s voice makes me want to jump out of a window.  I didn’t expect much, but I found myself shocked how blatantly divisive it was.  There was little to no message about coming together, it was a rally cry for all of his supporters. As millions protested his inauguration  (some of which voted for him), Toupee Fiasco sits upon his throne with no incentive to win them over, he’s already secured a 4 year bye. (So he thinks). 

The black President was never afforded such luxury.  Not that he even wanted to.
Every word hyper analyzed, Obama was tasked with palliating white fear that he would be the BLACK President, appealing to his base only.  The revolution has been televised. Black people can barely enjoy February, BET, Black Girls are Magic without first swimming across a lake of white tears as they complain about exclusion.  What little we have, we are expected to share, as the new President of the United States openly gloats about how he and his supporters have successfully deboed the country back and it’s normalized. This country is conditioned to fear the black revolutionary; a black Trump couldn’t exist.  Not even a black Bernie. The black president will always have to hold white people’s hands and tell them he won’t abandon them.  The orange one…he just points to the electoral map like a #Scoreboardt.  

1/25/17 (Day 78)- Richard Spencer got punched again. The New Edition Movie has been a pleasant distraction from a lot of the nonsense.  It’s the little things. 

1/27/17 (Day 80)- You know how they say the pen is mightier than the sword? Persimmon Putin has shown how mighty it can be as he’s made white supremacy go platinum in its first week. 2001 Islamophobia is back with a vengence and he didnt even need to buy a 9/11 with his trap money.  He enacted a muslim ban, because he could.  Lord help us all if theres an actual attack and the country is in a panic.

I weep for the bill, sitting on Capitol Hill, as the Supercallousmisogynisticracistnazipotus seems to have decided that even with a fully supported Congress he can just rule via executive orders. Congress argued against Obama’s use of EOs, but allow Trump to cook because if and when it blows up they can say they didn’t do it. Cowards.

1/29/17 (Day 82)- One of the biggest struggles of being a black man in America is the duality of having privilege and being oppressed at the same time. So far, Trump has gone after women, Mexicans, immigrants but has yet to do anything specifically to ME, but I remain in constant fear that time will be up soon enough.  So I find myself looking upon the wreckage and can’t help but see the irony in seeing the world react to everyone being treated like black people. 

From slavery, Jim Crow, redlining, prison industrial complex, war on drugs, student debt, underemployment,  gentrificiation…this country has been legally attacking us for generations only to be responded to with gaslighting.  “I didn’t own slaves”, “we elected a black president”, “racism is a dated concept”.  Even our own bought into the rhetoric using black on black crime and respectability politics to rationalize an undeserved war waged against us.  

But….this isn’t about me. Yet.  Edward Littlehands is distracted for the moment going after refugees. A country “founded” on religious freedom and Give Me Your Tired… is turning innocent people away because they believe that they may turn on the America who by the way are bombing the fuck out of them.   It’s being sold as a precautionary measure but Boston Marathon bombers? Russian.  Dylan Roof?  All American boy. Automatic rifles? Still able to be purchased by civilians. So tell me more how blocking immigrants is keeping us safe?

Terror isn’t a religion or a skin color.  It isn’t even something you can actually wage war against.  You can make it into whatever you want it to be and then attack that (you know like “drugs”)  

1/30/17 (Day 83)- I don’t care what your politics are…if you think this would be the first 10 days under Hillary you’re insane.  That is all.

-Stan-

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Today’s Word is… TRUMPOCALYPSE

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It’s been a long 73 days between election night and the inauguration.  I’m not quite sure what stage of grief I’m on but it surely isn’t “acceptance”. Not sure if it ever will be.  Each day, each story I found myself losing my mind or wondering if America lost theirs.  I decided to journal through it. Alas we are here at inauguration and I figured no better time than to share some of my musings. I’ll warn you now, it’s pretty long. That’s what she said.  Alas, I bring you my 73 days of hell or as I call it…

The Trumpocalypse.

11/11/16 (Day 3)- I just can’t see it. I can’t see this man giving state of the union addresses, I can’t see him getting off the plane and meeting foreign leaders, I can’t see a Presidential chart and his smug con man smile being at the end. Donald Trump is going to be President of the United States. For real. Not in some tongue in cheek satire, but real life. My future kids are going to learn about him in history books. January 20, 2021 can’t come soon enough.

11/14/16 (Day 6)- I’m finding some delicious irony in white people feeling attacked as if this is their fault. (It is). They have resorted to safety pins, protests and long winded Facebook statuses because they hate being associated with their hateful skinfolk. They want to be treated as individuals, they are not a monolith, and they should not be held responsible for every Billy Bob and Margaret that broke America. I say hahahahahahahahahaha

11/16/16 (Day 8)- Practicing self care via laughter…Black Twitter has provided us with “what do I look like I do for a living”, a Shirley Cesar trap cover, and a new Kermit meme. Calls to give the Great Trumpkin a chance are growing even though since being elected, he’s done nothing but frown, and tweet retractions to things that are very easily fact checked. It’s as though he has no idea how the internet works. God bless America.

11/21/16 (Day 13)- I usually enjoy I told you so, it’s a freeing feeling, like hitting a fullcourt shot on the first try or walking away with a phone number and not an Instagram @. I warned folks about the false equivalencies, to stop listening to their social studies challenged cousin on Facebook…instead people raked Hillary through the coals for likes and clicks. People who tried to keep an open mind already have a bitter taste of crow as the Hate Trumpkin is very much is who we thought he was. This man has conflicts of interest all over the world, and is backed by a congress who will never have the stones to humiliate the party and impeach him so we have at least 2 years with an orange Tyrant. But hey at least he didn’t call us Superpredators 20 years ago. (He just treated the Central park 5 as such). God help America.

11/27/16 (Day 19)- As Toupee Fiasco tweets freely about his desire to trample on the first amendment without a hint of irony, people have made a last ditch effort to Jill Stein’s recount. Effort, it is because there is absolutely no way to reverse the outcome (no refunds) which is all but futile because as I’ve been saying for the past fortnight and a half….white people lied, B. 62 million votes and they still trying to point the finger at the real racists. Did they vote accidentally? Are they so white they assumed leaving it blank was the proper way to vote? Who knows. I just want this inauguration to come and go and for the Dems to grow a pair and fight back instead of Monday morning quarterbacking.

11/28/16 (Day 20)- The new Secretary of Education [Betsy DaVos] doesn’t believe in public schools. The new Secretary of Education doesn’t believe in PUBLIC SCHOOLS. THE NEW SECRETARY OF EDUCATION DOESN’T BELIEVE IN PUBLIC SCHOOLS

12/13/16 (Day 35)- A blonde haired Kanye West meets with Darth Cheeto, while Macklemore spits on the F*ck Donald Trump remix. This year can end now.

12/19/16 (Day 41)- As Dwight P Poe pretends to be stunned by news of the Russian hacking like Hillary didn’t literally say this in the second debate; we have arrived at confirmation day. The electorates will confirm Toupee Fiasco as our next “Precedent” (Thanks Hamilton. I’m glad you got clapped). I refuse to let the dwights off that easily because 63 million votes didn’t fall out the sky, they didn’t come from emails, and 25 year old superpredator quotes. There are decepticons among us, not to be trusted, because whIle they talk big and bad online, numbers don’t lie. For all I know, Keith Olbermann voted for Trump for the career boost after failing spectacularly in his ESPN return stint. (He’s been killing it btw but I don’t trust anybody, word to Stone Cold). Every person who switches lanes without signaling, Trump voter. Cowboys fan? Trump voter. Puts ketchup on their fries instead of dipping? Trump voter. Stay woke.

12/30/16(Day 52)- As Toupee Fiasco plans for inauguration, he finds himself in a strange place. 63 million supporters, not a friend in the world. Only person who seems to be unashamed to be seen with him is his daughter who is also his first lady because his own wife doesn’t want to be with him. The Decepticons are fickle creatures, they are the Angela Yee to Trump’s Gucci Mane. Trump who has built a brand on being lavish and extravagant, his Inauguration will be the blandest thing ever. It’s a high school assembly, pillow princesses, The OA, Mike and Mike in the morning, white people potato salad, coconut water, J Cole albums and RC Cola wrapped into one. I actually feel worst for Obama who has to attend, he’s been throwing the most turnt parties in DC the past year and is forced to attend the white mediocrity strugglefest. He rather be at a security briefing, or a press conference….speaking of, is Trump ever going to do any of those things? Ess em ayche. Happy New Year.

1/3/17 (Day 56)- We have exhausted all other options. All that is left is…the troll. Unlike racists who trolled the President for 8 years whilst reaping benefits of health care, an auto bailout, Lily Ledbetter, and 5% unemployment; I wish I could say the same about the TwitterFingers-in-Chief. All I can do is sit semi comfortably above the poverty line and watch as the same poor uneducated people who elected him get hit harder than Ronda Rousey. It feels cruel. Enh, well.

1/6/17 (Day 59)- 

Yesterday morning as I was getting ready for work, a story on the news caught my attention. The sheriff for Bristol county was being sworn in for his 4th term, he then would use his 15 seconds of fame to make a pitch to the Cheeto-Elect; “aye I got this free labor if you need it big dawg”. Even being well aware of the 13th amendment, the caucdacity of offering prison labor publicly literally 5 minutes into a new term, it startled me. I couldn’t believe it so I had to look it up, no way that actually happened…it did. So I shared on twitter with a quip “inward, that’s slavery.” and got ready for work. I check my phone later and see thousands of responses from the dwight p poe talking about “well we feed and shelter them with our taxes, they need to work”. “I don’t share empathy with criminals”. Without a hint of irony, regular degular schmegular dwights were sounding no different than slavemasters in the movies they fake cry in and want to give Oscars to. The same people who rebuke the idea of white privilege because they didn’t own slaves and are otherwise unremarkable can’t see the fault in an elected official literally selling free labor to build a wall that is supposed to be saving jobs in the first place. People read history books and wonder how people sat by and let such awful things happen…it’s because (white) people are evil, B. Entitled, selfish, evil people.

1/10/17 (Day 63)- Golden showers, B?  Is this House of Cards? Somewhere Hillary is pissed at how NOW that Trumped Up, Trickle Down zinger would land better.  For what it’s worth, I don’t believe it, but I fear worst is coming. Urine for a long 4 years, America.

1/11/17 (Day 64)- Last night, as I watched the farewell address of the President I acknowledge, I couldn’t help but think how remarkable he is, how surreal it is this black dude has been President for as long as I could vote. How he speaks of this country with such optimism, it’s almost childlike, I almost wish I could see the country through his eyes.  Then I watch Trump’s press conference. He’s cheeto dusted Mayor Quimby. He is inarticulate, inept, and so transparently corrupt, I don’t know how I can take 4 years of this. I just picture the next state of the union as he spews lies upon lies while Race Bannon and the teacher from Glee nod along. I sit in fear at what secrets Russia actually has over them, and the sacrifices they will make to keep it that way. The idea that Obama had to be as perfect as possible and Trump can just exist in his own mediocrity is troublesome.  I then see an article on Vox breaking down his “unique” manner of speaking. It goes on about how he is to be heard and not quoted. Cute. But the reality is HE DOESN’T KNOW WORDS, B. “Hacking duffence” isn’t some New York linguistic, he just doesn’t know what cybersecurity is. This isn’t normal, it never will be. *sigh* At this point, it’s starting to feel like talking to the moon. It’s going to be a long 4 years.

1/12/17(Day 65)- Hasn’t even been a full day. At 1:30am, Obamacare was murdered. Congress grabbed Lucille and took a beating to it. Preexisting conditions? Gone. Staying on your parents insurance til 26? Gone. Their replacement? Well….they’ll get around to it. With no plan in place, Democrats will be forced to accept whatever plan is given or fight it as 36,000 people a year die waiting. This isn’t the plot of an action movie, this is real life. How could well meaning politicians do this?  I truly don’t believe people run for office planning to do harm. Yet, the idea of Obamacare being called Obamacare, was too much for them. Maybe in hindsight we should’ve kept it known as the ACA (which some still don’t realize is the same thing).  Me, I’m 27, in good health, private insurance, and in a state that has insurance just in case. (I guess because we didn’t call it Romneycare no one felt the need to destroy it). In that regard, I’ll probably be alright. But for people waking up having no idea what they will do? It’s heartbreaking. All because of a name, man. A name.

1/20/17(Day 73)- It’s official. Donald J. Trump is the President of the United States.  My President’s a hack, my Passat is Blue. I said a little while back, that Barack Obama, a Harvard educated biracial married father, was everything America pretended it was.  America IS Trump, a narcissistic, thrice divorced “billionaire”, who tweets too much and is loud and wrong about everything.  For 8 years we had this incredible black man stand as the face of a “post racial” America but that’s not what this country is.  We’re out of shape, broke, with a spray tan.  This IS Trump’s America, and we deserve all that shame that comes with this fact.  Maybe I’ve finally reached acceptance. Or as close as I will ever get.  I wrote this entry in advance, as I plan to spend my Friday ignoring any and everything Inauguration related.  Self care is important. I can’t bury myself forever, I will be back knucking, bucking and ready to fight.  Just not today.    I can’t believe this country did this to ourselves.

-Stan-

 

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