Category Archives: Politics

Today’s Word is… TRUMPOCALYPSE

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It’s been a long 73 days between election night and the inauguration.  I’m not quite sure what stage of grief I’m on but it surely isn’t “acceptance”. Not sure if it ever will be.  Each day, each story I found myself losing my mind or wondering if America lost theirs.  I decided to journal through it. Alas we are here at inauguration and I figured no better time than to share some of my musings. I’ll warn you now, it’s pretty long. That’s what she said.  Alas, I bring you my 73 days of hell or as I call it…

The Trumpocalypse.

11/11/16 (Day 3)- I just can’t see it. I can’t see this man giving state of the union addresses, I can’t see him getting off the plane and meeting foreign leaders, I can’t see a Presidential chart and his smug con man smile being at the end. Donald Trump is going to be President of the United States. For real. Not in some tongue in cheek satire, but real life. My future kids are going to learn about him in history books. January 20, 2021 can’t come soon enough.

11/14/16 (Day 6)- I’m finding some delicious irony in white people feeling attacked as if this is their fault. (It is). They have resorted to safety pins, protests and long winded Facebook statuses because they hate being associated with their hateful skinfolk. They want to be treated as individuals, they are not a monolith, and they should not be held responsible for every Billy Bob and Margaret that broke America. I say hahahahahahahahahaha

11/16/16 (Day 8)- Practicing self care via laughter…Black Twitter has provided us with “what do I look like I do for a living”, a Shirley Cesar trap cover, and a new Kermit meme. Calls to give the Great Trumpkin a chance are growing even though since being elected, he’s done nothing but frown, and tweet retractions to things that are very easily fact checked. It’s as though he has no idea how the internet works. God bless America.

11/21/16 (Day 13)- I usually enjoy I told you so, it’s a freeing feeling, like hitting a fullcourt shot on the first try or walking away with a phone number and not an Instagram @. I warned folks about the false equivalencies, to stop listening to their social studies challenged cousin on Facebook…instead people raked Hillary through the coals for likes and clicks. People who tried to keep an open mind already have a bitter taste of crow as the Hate Trumpkin is very much is who we thought he was. This man has conflicts of interest all over the world, and is backed by a congress who will never have the stones to humiliate the party and impeach him so we have at least 2 years with an orange Tyrant. But hey at least he didn’t call us Superpredators 20 years ago. (He just treated the Central park 5 as such). God help America.

11/27/16 (Day 19)- As Toupee Fiasco tweets freely about his desire to trample on the first amendment without a hint of irony, people have made a last ditch effort to Jill Stein’s recount. Effort, it is because there is absolutely no way to reverse the outcome (no refunds) which is all but futile because as I’ve been saying for the past fortnight and a half….white people lied, B. 62 million votes and they still trying to point the finger at the real racists. Did they vote accidentally? Are they so white they assumed leaving it blank was the proper way to vote? Who knows. I just want this inauguration to come and go and for the Dems to grow a pair and fight back instead of Monday morning quarterbacking.

11/28/16 (Day 20)- The new Secretary of Education [Betsy DaVos] doesn’t believe in public schools. The new Secretary of Education doesn’t believe in PUBLIC SCHOOLS. THE NEW SECRETARY OF EDUCATION DOESN’T BELIEVE IN PUBLIC SCHOOLS

12/13/16 (Day 35)- A blonde haired Kanye West meets with Darth Cheeto, while Macklemore spits on the F*ck Donald Trump remix. This year can end now.

12/19/16 (Day 41)- As Dwight P Poe pretends to be stunned by news of the Russian hacking like Hillary didn’t literally say this in the second debate; we have arrived at confirmation day. The electorates will confirm Toupee Fiasco as our next “Precedent” (Thanks Hamilton. I’m glad you got clapped). I refuse to let the dwights off that easily because 63 million votes didn’t fall out the sky, they didn’t come from emails, and 25 year old superpredator quotes. There are decepticons among us, not to be trusted, because whIle they talk big and bad online, numbers don’t lie. For all I know, Keith Olbermann voted for Trump for the career boost after failing spectacularly in his ESPN return stint. (He’s been killing it btw but I don’t trust anybody, word to Stone Cold). Every person who switches lanes without signaling, Trump voter. Cowboys fan? Trump voter. Puts ketchup on their fries instead of dipping? Trump voter. Stay woke.

12/30/16(Day 52)- As Toupee Fiasco plans for inauguration, he finds himself in a strange place. 63 million supporters, not a friend in the world. Only person who seems to be unashamed to be seen with him is his daughter who is also his first lady because his own wife doesn’t want to be with him. The Decepticons are fickle creatures, they are the Angela Yee to Trump’s Gucci Mane. Trump who has built a brand on being lavish and extravagant, his Inauguration will be the blandest thing ever. It’s a high school assembly, pillow princesses, The OA, Mike and Mike in the morning, white people potato salad, coconut water, J Cole albums and RC Cola wrapped into one. I actually feel worst for Obama who has to attend, he’s been throwing the most turnt parties in DC the past year and is forced to attend the white mediocrity strugglefest. He rather be at a security briefing, or a press conference….speaking of, is Trump ever going to do any of those things? Ess em ayche. Happy New Year.

1/3/17 (Day 56)- We have exhausted all other options. All that is left is…the troll. Unlike racists who trolled the President for 8 years whilst reaping benefits of health care, an auto bailout, Lily Ledbetter, and 5% unemployment; I wish I could say the same about the TwitterFingers-in-Chief. All I can do is sit semi comfortably above the poverty line and watch as the same poor uneducated people who elected him get hit harder than Ronda Rousey. It feels cruel. Enh, well.

1/6/17 (Day 59)- 

Yesterday morning as I was getting ready for work, a story on the news caught my attention. The sheriff for Bristol county was being sworn in for his 4th term, he then would use his 15 seconds of fame to make a pitch to the Cheeto-Elect; “aye I got this free labor if you need it big dawg”. Even being well aware of the 13th amendment, the caucdacity of offering prison labor publicly literally 5 minutes into a new term, it startled me. I couldn’t believe it so I had to look it up, no way that actually happened…it did. So I shared on twitter with a quip “inward, that’s slavery.” and got ready for work. I check my phone later and see thousands of responses from the dwight p poe talking about “well we feed and shelter them with our taxes, they need to work”. “I don’t share empathy with criminals”. Without a hint of irony, regular degular schmegular dwights were sounding no different than slavemasters in the movies they fake cry in and want to give Oscars to. The same people who rebuke the idea of white privilege because they didn’t own slaves and are otherwise unremarkable can’t see the fault in an elected official literally selling free labor to build a wall that is supposed to be saving jobs in the first place. People read history books and wonder how people sat by and let such awful things happen…it’s because (white) people are evil, B. Entitled, selfish, evil people.

1/10/17 (Day 63)- Golden showers, B?  Is this House of Cards? Somewhere Hillary is pissed at how NOW that Trumped Up, Trickle Down zinger would land better.  For what it’s worth, I don’t believe it, but I fear worst is coming. Urine for a long 4 years, America.

1/11/17 (Day 64)- Last night, as I watched the farewell address of the President I acknowledge, I couldn’t help but think how remarkable he is, how surreal it is this black dude has been President for as long as I could vote. How he speaks of this country with such optimism, it’s almost childlike, I almost wish I could see the country through his eyes.  Then I watch Trump’s press conference. He’s cheeto dusted Mayor Quimby. He is inarticulate, inept, and so transparently corrupt, I don’t know how I can take 4 years of this. I just picture the next state of the union as he spews lies upon lies while Race Bannon and the teacher from Glee nod along. I sit in fear at what secrets Russia actually has over them, and the sacrifices they will make to keep it that way. The idea that Obama had to be as perfect as possible and Trump can just exist in his own mediocrity is troublesome.  I then see an article on Vox breaking down his “unique” manner of speaking. It goes on about how he is to be heard and not quoted. Cute. But the reality is HE DOESN’T KNOW WORDS, B. “Hacking duffence” isn’t some New York linguistic, he just doesn’t know what cybersecurity is. This isn’t normal, it never will be. *sigh* At this point, it’s starting to feel like talking to the moon. It’s going to be a long 4 years.

1/12/17(Day 65)- Hasn’t even been a full day. At 1:30am, Obamacare was murdered. Congress grabbed Lucille and took a beating to it. Preexisting conditions? Gone. Staying on your parents insurance til 26? Gone. Their replacement? Well….they’ll get around to it. With no plan in place, Democrats will be forced to accept whatever plan is given or fight it as 36,000 people a year die waiting. This isn’t the plot of an action movie, this is real life. How could well meaning politicians do this?  I truly don’t believe people run for office planning to do harm. Yet, the idea of Obamacare being called Obamacare, was too much for them. Maybe in hindsight we should’ve kept it known as the ACA (which some still don’t realize is the same thing).  Me, I’m 27, in good health, private insurance, and in a state that has insurance just in case. (I guess because we didn’t call it Romneycare no one felt the need to destroy it). In that regard, I’ll probably be alright. But for people waking up having no idea what they will do? It’s heartbreaking. All because of a name, man. A name.

1/20/17(Day 73)- It’s official. Donald J. Trump is the President of the United States.  My President’s a hack, my Passat is Blue. I said a little while back, that Barack Obama, a Harvard educated biracial married father, was everything America pretended it was.  America IS Trump, a narcissistic, thrice divorced “billionaire”, who tweets too much and is loud and wrong about everything.  For 8 years we had this incredible black man stand as the face of a “post racial” America but that’s not what this country is.  We’re out of shape, broke, with a spray tan.  This IS Trump’s America, and we deserve all that shame that comes with this fact.  Maybe I’ve finally reached acceptance. Or as close as I will ever get.  I wrote this entry in advance, as I plan to spend my Friday ignoring any and everything Inauguration related.  Self care is important. I can’t bury myself forever, I will be back knucking, bucking and ready to fight.  Just not today.    I can’t believe this country did this to ourselves.

-Stan-

 

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Today’s Word is… TRUMP

 


I don’t wanna talk about it.

 I don’t want to talk about 3rd party voting, or the electoral college and how literally every other election is decided by most votes win except the most important one.  I have no comment on the large amount of white women who picked white supremacy over their own gender, or the liberal millenials who went from went from Occupy Wall Street to corrupt housing mogul turned President elect a mere decade after a housing crisis Donald Trump.  I literally can’t even unpack the idea that the first black President will hand over control to a candidate endorsed by the KKK, 4 days after Martin Luther King Day. Oh, then there’s the fact that while Clinton detractors continue to bring up the 1994 crime bill that her HUSBAND passed, the President-elect has a NEW crime bill that he wants passed in the first 100 days. Let’s not talk about his plan at all, because why do that when you can run 100 ads of kids watching TV instead. I won’t talk about that neither.   Oh by the way, with Republican controlled congress, there is literally nothing to stop him.  That means Obamacare, marriage equality, Roe v Wade, immigration rights can all be wiped out.  No more DOJ investigations into police departments, lord forbid when another unarmed black person is killed….I REALLY don’t want to talk about that. 

I don’t want to talk about “lesser of two evils”, when one person was the Secretary of State for the President you admire, and the other claim to political fame was calling him a Kenyan on Twitter. I don’t want to talk about your false definition of Stockholm syndrome you learned from a meme. Don’t share posts from your 10th grade dropout cousin pretending to be a political expert. I know “Jesus is still king” but that really isn’t much solace at the moment, auntie.  Black people have been through worse, I know, but why can’t I chill for a bit?  Yes, I’m completely aware that my favorite football player may have voted for him.   Oh, I’m sure Bernie would’ve won even though he couldn’t beat the person who just lost.  Tell me white coworker, why is it always time to come together when Y’ALL do something wrong?   I don’t need to see your status about how you knew this would happen even though you have no evidence to suggest it ergo you are just giving an opinion horribly disguised as fact.  Tell me more about how you’re leaving the country.  As I recall you at least need a passport and money for that but you know, good luck. 

Is it me or are we still forgetting about the fraud and rape cases against our next President?  What if he is forced to resign? President Mike Pence?  Mr Make America straight again via shock therapy?  Mr Looks like the guy cheering the loudest at little league games even though he doesn’t have kids? Is this real life?  Was this payback for electing a black President?  An ivy league educated President?  This whitelash was unnecessary, not like black people elected Kanye. Can you imagine if black people came out in droves to elect a loud and wrong Gemini with a delusional level of self worth and no experience?  We would have to ignore years of sexist statements and pretend his inarticu lateness was somehow charming.  Do you see his twitter rants?  Imagine giving THAT guy the nuclear codes…That would be so reckl–oh. 

Yeah, I don’t want to talk about it. 

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Today’s Word is… DEFENSE

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So recently the photo of Flotus flower bomb Michelle Obama raining on the President’s parade made it’s rounds on the internet and while the conservative media was happy to run with the angry black woman angle most of us laughed and lauded Mrs Obama’s impeccable defense. Defense is a slippery slope, on one hand you should trust your partner to know better but still there’s times when one must simply remind others around them that this one’s spoken for. There’s levels to this sh t; there’s subtle gestures which are clever and effective; and there’s full blown confrontation, which is never a good look for anyone. When you’re in a relationship, no matter who you are there will be times where you have to play defense, and when the moment arises you can play it cool or make an ass of yourself. Knowing when and how is key, there’s a difference between confronting a waitress who merely smiled at your boyfriend and grabbing his hand when you see someone checking him out.

“So who’s this Siri you keep talking to”

The Trojan War was started over a woman, the survivor traveled the war for a decade, got home and killed a mob of men for his woman. These days, men have gone full Washington Taterskins when it comes to playing defense. *cue rimshot* The “every night I got to fight to prove my love” (gold star if you got this reference) guy is long gone. Today’s man is more cocky and assume their girl is the sword in the stone only he can yield. I’m not one to play defense, perhaps it’s arrogance but if I’m handling business on my end then there’s nothing to worry about. If my good is not good enough then I picked the wrong one to begin with. If I have to worry about who she with, where she at, where she going, then I ought to worry who I’m with, where we at, where we’re going? People are loyal to a fault, relationships are optional if you’re that uncomfortable, leave, you don’t need evidence or a conviction by a jury of their peers. Confrontation is never a good look, only thing that can come from it is getting your ass kicked or playing yourself. I’ve gotten calls/texts from guys asking about my relationship with their lady, whether there was or wasn’t something going on they already are losing…badly. There’s nothing more demoralizing than having someone else reassure you that your lady is being faithful. Okay, there is one thing, and that’s getting your ass kicked by the same guy who is slaying your queen.

Women these days are much more defensive minded. It’s a point of pride, we all know somebody who know somebody who’s fighting tooth and nail for an ain’t sh t guy because she’ll be damned to “lose” him to her. Where men are arrogant, women are not as much, they guard the stone for which the stone is stuck from even insects, not on their watch will anyone take what should be assumed as theirs. The sidechick doesn’t even have to actually exist, the mere idea of one is enough to keep some women on their toes. I’ve had girlfriends step to neighbors, coworkers, exes online, just to make sure that her presence was felt. As far as confrontation, they’ve picked up where men left off, they take up arms for their man. Look no farther than the Sharkeisha video…started over some guy who she’ll probably never think about 3 years from now. You see women having kids to keep men around, forgiving infidelity just to be able to have him come home to her, you can’t help but wonder if it’s more about him or them.

As partners, men and women have limited patience with s/o’s who insist on playing defense more often than not to the detriment of their own offense. She’s worried about whose pictures he likes on instagram, oblivious to the fact he’s unhappy about a lack of communication. He’s so worried about her “work husband” he doesn’t even realize she’s fed up with his drinking. This goes back to my previous point, if you’re doing what you’re supposed to do, there’s nothing to worry about on your end. In relationships, the best defense is a good offense. You know what they say, what you won’t do…

-Stan-

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Today’s Word is… ACCOUNTABILITY

So I went from a victim dependent on government to someone who was basically bribed and duped into voting.  Cool story, Mitt.  What’s hilariously awful about that quote is the complete lack of accountability.  It wasn’t the months of job growth, getting owned in the last two debates, the fact you completely ignored the latino vote, it was the gifts.  At least he didn’t blame affirmative action.  Some people can’t admit they were wrong. Its understandable, being wrong is a horrible, humbling feeling.  However, it’s a necessary evil, if you don’t make mistakes how will you ever learn?  Mitt thought he had it all figured out, and he lost. Fairly easily at that.  I assume he won’t be back in 2016, and in the event he did, he’ll suffer the same fate unless he learns what he’s doing wrong (which is simply talking).  In relationships, it’s the same way, you don’t enter a relationship with an expiration date in mind, everyone expects they’re next relationship to be the last.  Breakups are the reality that you were wrong, that he/she isn’t the one, or that it’s not time yet.  It’s also a reality that you may not be ready for what you think you want, but so many neglect that fact, they never look in the mirror they rather point at others and take no accountability.

I could say the same for the ones I was with who seem to come out of the relationship with their own edits.  One girl has convinced herself I never loved her, I was cheating, I was afraid of commitment. It sounds good to tell her friends when they ask about me, the quotes/subliminals that don’t apply honestly might get some sympathy likes on Facebook but deep down she knows better.  Until she learns to trust, until she learns to communicate, until she stops blaming everyone else and takes control of her life, I don’t see any man that will deal with it.  Another fights tooth and nail, that the chef boyardee of a relationship she offered was the finest Italian cuisine.  Her heart is shattered, she may never love again, I will never find another like her, but in reality she and I know she held back.  She placed us on the thinnest of ice and waited for it to crack, I never got a fair shake.  Unless she finds someone willing to obey her every command (maybe not unlikely there are plenty of spineless men out there) she will find herself alone.  I wish anyone I ever loved well, I’m not that cynical.  However, I know firsthand that it wasn’t (all) me, it was them, and as I continue to grow and better myself they are both still with their fingers pointed at me.  I’ll be the villain, say I’m just like the others, but even in that event how do you change to avoid meeting ones like me?

One thing you may notice on this blog is I take responsibility for a lot of things.  I’m willing to admit I’m wrong, humble enough to write it out for the whole world to see.  I’ve failed in relationships and though I’m typically right I’m still aware of things I could’ve done better, things I shouldn’t have said, women I should’ve never bothered with.  I know I perhaps flirt too much, write checks I’m not ready to cash, shut down when I’m upset,  love too hard, or love too little, these and more is why I’m taking my time to know myself before my next courtship.  Instead of Mitt Romneying, I want to know where I go wrong and learn my own red flags. Hold myself accountable, just as I do with work or my weight.  Fault really was all on my exes tho.  *awaits my Obama gifts*

-Stan-

 

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Today’s Word is… HATER

My favorite job ever was when I was 17.  I got a job at Target working the electronics department.  The hours sucked, the pay was terrible, and I didn’t like most of my coworkers.  What I enjoyed however, was customer questions, especially on music. In a way, it was like having my own record store, an early dream of mine back when people actually bought media.   I probably would’ve been fired had they known about the purchases I dissuaded customers from making, not like I got commission, “the product sells itself…” pssh whatever.  I developed a nice following of customers for my opinion and had I known better I probably would’ve started a blog or something back then.  These days I’m just as opinionated, but it’s hard to have one these days, now we live in the hater era; where everyone’s opinion that isn’t your own, is merely hating because you’re never wrong.  It’s a hilarious attack on accountability, rappers use haters to mask the fact they aren’t making quality music, regular people use it because…well I don’t know.  You put something out there but expect no one to have an opinion on it how does that work?

Men Lie. Women Lie. Numbers Don’t.

The fundmental difference between hating and opinion is really the validity of your opinion.  If you’re talking nonsense you just sound bitter.  I dislike Kobe Bryant but to say he isnt one of the greatest players of the modern era, is so irrational it can’t be nothing but hating.  When CNN projected Barack Obama as the winner of the election, I instantly turned to Fox News just to see what they would say.  Of course, there was Karl Rove saying it isn’t over when the crowd already stormed the court.  You lost by 10 but you really arguing if the halfcourt buzzer beater counted, you sound ridiculous.  Then again betting 100 million dollars on the wrong horse  would drive anyone mad.

The other is the relationship of the opinionated, something far too many people get confused over.  It wasn’t long ago Lil’ Wayne released his Dedication 4 mixtape.  I downloaded it, listened to it, wasn’t impressed.  I tweeted my opinion and here came an onslaught of Weezy fans calling me a hater and telling me he has more money (really? that’s your argument?). Now while I can’t go into a studio and do what Lil Wayne does (too be honest maybe I could but thats beside the point), I’m a music consumer.  Tell me more how music consumers have no right to give an opinion on music.  Hating would be talking about how many downloads the mixtape got, or why women sweat him even though he looks like a shrunken head, I merely kept my opinion on what I’m qualified to, the music.  But artists like Wayne don’t have accountability, the audience is wrong and jealous of him.  He’ll learn eventually when people stop supporting, ask 50 cent.

The third qualification of a hater is an unsolicited opinion.  You can’t post a picture and call someone a hater for not liking it.  Perhaps they could’ve kept it to themselves but so could you. Yet you put it out there to be judged.   We constantly talk about our lives (looks into mirror) and then feel some type of way if someone comments on it.  I love when readers disagree with my post, call me out on something or tell me I had spelling mistakes.  They have no reason to hate, I’m not that serious.  Opinions can be good or bad, you got to learn to accept both.  But every athlete, musician and actor brushes it off as hate, why can’t I?

Goal for 2013…run marathon, get this watch..okay maybe 2014

It goes without saying, we like to mimic stars. I remember when I first heard Jay name drop Hublot watches in a song, I made decent money maybe I can get me a Hublot…I saw the price, my feelings were hurt. Badly.  We can’t always have what stars have. With fame, hate is just part of the territory.  With ordinary people despite having nothing otherworldly to covet, they pretend they have that same amount of hate. As I said before, haters are usually wrong and/or have no reason to comment other than to hear themselves speak.  You look at the reasons claim they have haters they are silly.  No one is hating on your relationship, they are just tired of reading statuses about him.  We aren’t losing sleep over your follower count, you just aren’t that funny.  It’s not you don’t have a nice body but do you even know how to take a head shot?  It’s just a lack of accountability.  Or maybe I’m just hating because I don’t got any haters. Haters gon’ hate.

-Stan-

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Today’s Word is… BROTHER

I’m not going to do one of those cliche post election posts but I will give my final thoughts

1. How did the lowest approved congress in history get 2 more years

2. Romney should’ve picked a woman or Rubio as VP, especially since Ryan couldn’t even get him Wisconsin

3. Media seriously underrated the youth vote, yeah we weren’t as enthused as we were in 2008, but did they expect us to stay home

4. 47%=302 electoral votes

5. No re-election, no excuses, its time to the President to define his legacy

and now back to our regularly scheduled program….

Today’s my brothers birthday, I’ll probably write on his wall later.  Such a hollow gesture for someone who was once my role model and best friend.  Don’t get me wrong, I love my brother but we drifted considerably over the years when you’d think the opposite would happen.  I was always the nerdy little brother who clung to his shadow, but instead of shooing me away allowed me to hang around.  Wasn’t much of an athlete but he played with me anyway, knew if/when I was lying about a girl but still listened, people asked “THAT’S your little brother” and he proudly claimed me.  We’re 5 years apart but were as close as twins.  Now we’re both adults but he’s just another Facebook friend who sometimes comes to family functions.  Its crazy how it ended up this way…

Not long after my parents divorce, like most kids my brother started acting out in school and ultimately moved in with my father as he became too much of a handful.  I was far too much of a mama’s boy to go with him and alas the divide began.  When I visited I felt more distant than ever, my father and brother bonded, not to mention two more half brothers to follow him around now.  I was jealous, moreso about my father, they were almost like pals, why didn’t I have that relationship?  I started to emulate my brother more again, not because I admired him as I did before but I wanted what he had.  My relationship with my father remained frustratingly awkward, I was done trying to fit in.  My weekend visits started to wane, I started to hang out in my hood more.  My friends were my brothers, the streets my father figure.

Fast forward a bit, my brother moves back in. He went through a really weird phase,  how he dressed, talked, and acted.  He had spent years adjusting to suburban life and now he was back in the hood, my turf.  He was Stan’s brother now,  but like he did before, I claimed him no less.  He once again adjusts to his surroundings perhaps too much, he gets arrested.  He goes back with my father now, but nothing changes, he continues to get arrested over and over again.  Now my brother isn’t that tough by any means, to be honest he got arrested for silly crimes like trespassing and weed.  He’s a grown man now, both my parents warn him to get his act together.  He gets pinched for a fight with a girlfriend he had, for the first time he goes to big boy jail.  I was hurt, I knew my brother wasn’t a saint but he wasn’t a hardened criminal either.  He does his time, gets out, I think that’s it for him.  But he gets stuck in the cycle, he keeps going back to the same girlfriend, keeps getting arrested.  His rap sheet is now longer than his resume, he needs to generate income.  He tries selling weed, get caught arrested again. He gets out and its the fork in the road again, girlfriend or hustle both lead to the same place.  I loan him money to get on his feet, he buys L and weed and brags about it on Facebook.  It gets to the point where I’m exhausted, I stop caring, the system has him now.  He missed graduations, he missed holidays, and what really irked me the most, he missed our mother’s funeral. He asks why I never write, I never give him an answer.  I was too hurt and disappointed, I just didn’t know how to tell him.

If you don’t have anything nice to say….

Today he has it together (somewhat), same girlfriend when they’re not fighting. Also he has a 3 year old girl (potentially another but thats #familybusiness).  I can count the number of times I seen her on one hand.  When we were kids we would talk about how we would be each others kids godfathers, our own conspiracy against our sisters.  I get pictures but I hardly know the girl, up until the past year, he hardly knew the girl.   I can’t say he would be my child’s godfather, or even the best man at my wedding.  I lost all trust in him, I lost most respect for him.  I’ll always love my brother but he’ll always irk me, maybe one day he won’t.  There’s always chance at redemption.

Until then this post is the letter I never wrote, the status I’ll never post, the post he’ll never read.  Instead he’ll simply get a Happy Birthday.

-Stan-

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