So, like a lot of people in the Northeast (because apparently we live in Winterfell now and it’s literally too cold to like, go outside.) I spent a lot of my break just watching Netflix on someones elses account. I watched a lot of Black Mirror aka Technology Twilight Zone aka Tales from the Encrypt aka Brits Brazy, B aka Stay Woke Alexa gon kill you aka that show you told your friends to check out except for the very first episode with the pig and if they just skip it they might dig it. Out of the handful of episodes I watch, one of my favorites was somewhat unconventional…it was a rom com episode. Yes, randomly in a show where the Prime Minister fucks a pig. So without giving it all away, I’ll just start with the premise: In a not too distant future, there’s a society where everyone is paired off with an app. (MESSAGE) The app sets you up in a series of doomed to fail relationships until you find your true love because you need to learn from each one in order to be the person who is ready to love their match (MESSAGE). The kicker is, the app tells you from jump how long this relationship is going to last. It could be a couple hours, couple months, couple years and you have to play along or you’ll never find your true love.
I found the idea of that fascinating. What if you just knew this wasn’t going to end well, or that it was. Or maybe, this is the one before the ONE. As an INFJ, I feel like I do this already. I project everydamnthing. I just have feelings about things. Or maybe I’m just a self sabotager…I’ll sort it out with a therapist one day. But pragmatically speaking, relationships end in a marriage or a break up. (or if that’s not your thing some semblance of it…Cassie, cohabitation, kids, a puppy…so you’re damn near married. Well until the W2s come in.) So is it really a reach to say that if this isn’t going in the direction of the former, maybe do the latter? I found myself at that crossroads before, one time I thought this is the woman I marry (it wasn’t…at all….if you’re under 25 and reading this don’t even think about it) another time, I thought okay maybe we need to just get off right here. Maybe we could’ve made it work just a little while longer; but it was probably for the best we got out before someone really got hurt. Whether it’s a job or relationship, that feeling of…this isn’t it. Makes you just resign, even subconsciously because you know winter is coming. But being a relationship pragmatist takes all the fun out of it. Even while I have my feelings, my doubts, my optimism…I don’t know shit. (I usually be right tho). That isn’t to say abandon my gut completely or ignore red flags, it’s just…not the time to think about that right now. Chill.
Going back to the Black Mirror episode, there’s a couple who really like each other and decide mutually agree to not look at the clock. Whether it ends tomorrow or 10 years from now they are just going to enjoy each other. ( and if you’ve ever seen a romantic comedy you probably know what happened next). In that time they were really happy just existing without the pressures of is this forever or am I wasting my time. Too often we worry about wasted time that we don’t even enjoy it (okay I sound like your MCM saying he don’t believe in labels). I do think, to an extent that ignorance is bliss. That happy medium, where “how does this story end” might be in the back of my mind because I’m just a little odd, I’m not just waiting for the app in my head to tell me this is worth my energy. I’m also pragmatic about the idea that I’m probably a couple years, tax brackets and growing pains before I should be worried about being someone’s husband anyway. Or maybe I hit the Powerball this week and suddenly I don’t believe in such an archaic concept anymore. Word to Diddy.