Previously on the Trumpocalypse:
6/5/17 (Day 209)- As the world comes together to share condolences and support for the United Kingdom after a horrific attack, leaders from France, Germany, Canada…do what you expect, thoughts and prayers, reach out if you need our support in any way yada yada yada. Then, there’s our “leader”, Truculent Tangerine, who decides to say fuck it, mask off and call out the mayor Sadiq Khan of London on a quote out of context, then upon getting the full statement, accuses him of backtracking and the media for running with it because that makes far more sense than he simply misread the statement. It’s also not lost on me that if London’s mayor was a white man named Tiddlyham Bumbershoot and not Muslim Sadiq Khan, he probably doesn’t say anything. Surely, his supporters have to find antagonizing a Mayor after a terror attack low class right? Nope.
6/8/17 (Day 212)- It’s kind of wild everyone stopped what they were doing to watch the Comey hearing as if it was the NBA Finals. It was also kinda wild that in this one instance, we were rooting for the fed. That’s where we are now, if Putin just came out and said he has Trump under his thumb we’d probably put him on the $10 bill. (As an aside, where the hell are my Tubman 20s, are we still getting them, can Dolt 45 ruin that sorta thing because he seems like the type who would ruin that sort of thing). Comey knew to keep notes because when someone shows you who they are, believe them. If the Director of the FBI couldn’t tell when a man is lying to their face, perhaps a career change was in order. He also figured knowing the President tried to bribe him was far more useful to him than telling someone the President tried to bribe him, because he’s still a fed B. Surely, his supporters have to be taken aback that the President fired the FBI director for investigating him? Nope.
6/15/17 (Day 219)- “We are all Steve Scalise today” – Paul Ryan
“I’m David Duke without the baggage” – Steve Scalise
Issa no for me dawg. But you know, thoughts and prayers for everyone else tho. Stop the violence and all that.
6/16/17 (Day 220)- I’m always fascinated by what makes politicians decide to run for President and when, especially people who should know they have little to no chance to win. Like did Mitt Romney actually think he was going to unseat a popular incumbent? Why did you even try, “Bobby” Jindal? Trump can’t actually be serious, right? That was my thought 2 years ago, when Mango Mussolini announced his decision to run. He called Mexicans murderers and rapists and promised to build a giant wall on the border. Everything about it was absurd. He should’ve been laughed off the stage like it was Showtime at the Apollo. Yet here we are 2 years later, he’s presently on Twitter talking about Hillary’s emails like he didn’t already win the election 220 days ago. Surely, his supporters gotta be over this Hillary thing by now? Nope.
6/20/17 (Day 224)- Meanwhile at the lair, McConnell nem are trying to pass a healthcare bill, no one knows what’s in it, no one knows how much it will cost, and they want it done by the 4th of July because they got shit to do. No committees, no debates, no reading the fine print. Yeaaaaah…that doesn’t sound suspicious at all. I almost envy how efficient the Republicans are sometimes. They are the Golden State Warriors of greed. Imagine if they actually worked for the people with that same vigor. Even if they are thwarted in 2018 and 2020, I’m sure they’ll find their way back and will raise hell if they can’t. Democrats…they have the moral high ground and not much else.
6/24/17 (Day 228)- If a tree falls in the middle of the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? If up til now you were adamant that Russian hacks weren’t real, but now there’s an opportunity to pin them on Obama, does Trump tweet? Of course he does. Because he doesn’t have to be consistent about anything other than being a white man. Could Obama had hit Russia back harder? Been more vocal about it? Probably. Instead, he trusted the people and the process that made him the President because that’s always been who is, for better or worse. Perhaps, like 94% of black women and 82% of black men, he simply was unaffected at all by those hacks that seemed to sway soooo many otherwise non bigoted white people. They were just so offended by those emails that they voted against their own best interests. Yup, it’s all Russia’s fault.
6/29/17 (Day 233)- Just the President twitter beefing with the hosts of Morning Joe because he tried to blackmail them with a National Enquirer story in exchange of more favorable coverage. He then attacked Mika Brzezinski’s looks because he’s a 71 year old frat boy. NOW, people seem to be outraged because these types of shenanigans are beneath the office of the President. You know what else was beneath the office of the President? The guy from the Apprentice with no political experience. The only thing Persimmon Putin has been consistent on, is being trash. Why act surprised now?
7/2/17 (Day 236)- Today in American History
- 1776- Congress votes on Independence
- 1881- President Garfield is shot
- 1921- President Harding declares end of war with Germany
- 1964- President Lyndon B Johnson signs Civil Rights Act
- 2017- President Twitler tweets a gif of him being up CNN
Happy Birthday America.