Boy meets Girl. Boy likes Girl. Boy wants to get to know Girl a little better. Girl starts off talking about her love of motorcycles (Boy is afraid of them, still a thug tho), she casually mentions how she’s watching a comic book movie or sports when he hits her up. Boy and Girl have a lot in common*, she’s a tomboy who also loves, heels, makeup and dresses. Ironically enough, Girl actually doesn’t like to go out, Girl wants to hang out have sex, eat pizza and laugh at bad movies. Boy really likes Girl, but he’s not necessarily looking for a relationship just yet. Girl understands*, she doesn’t trip off of titles anyway. If its meant to be, it’ll be….
So, seemingly boy hit the jackpot; the attractive, low maintenance unicorn! Or as it was explained in Gone (head and get that divorce,) Girl, the cool girl. The description of the cool girl illustrates what dating has become, courting for men has been reduced to mere availability while the women respond in kind with acquiescence. The cool girl has tainted the already shallow dating pool, with expectations and bars so low you could trip on them. There has been pushback against the cool girl, largely from women who are challenging women to be better, expect better, have some dignity; you don’t have to hide yourself to get chose. Sound advice that I hope works because, I am soooo sick of the “cool girl” too.
I’m actually turned off by the cool girl. I’m Prince Akeem to the bullshit. For starters, its blatant manipulation. Play it cool, wait for him to fall and then unload a bunch of repressed feelings. The Steve Harveyisms would lead you to believe that once you trick a man into loving you, you straight. (He’s also 3 times divorced so clearly results vary). I date to know who you are and you’re simply trying to be what you think I want. I’m/it’s not that deep. Akeem was at least a prince, I’m just a guy with a beard and a 401k. Ultimately, for the white readers who didn’t see Coming to America Akeem went for (the lightest woman in the movie because this was 1988) the woman who wasn’t a doormat. The Boy from the beginning? Ended up dating someone else. Because we all know how it goes with the “cool girl ” she takes on more and more resentment in lieu of accountability and then suddenly showing up places uninvited because you need to talk, or faking your own death and framing him for murder (stupid movie) seems perfectly rational because how dare you ain’t lose all this self respect for no reason.
All that to say, for who, for what? I can lie on a resume, charm in an interview but eventually the time will come where I have to prove I’m proficient in Excel. As will the time when women who adjust all try ear standards for a man, gets one and now they stuck in a Sportscenter and chill, dating without labels, texting sporadically, picking up checks, never get jealous ass relationship. Are there women who are genuinely down for it? Sure (And apparently they all exist on Twitter). But the majority? They are 3 “its cool”s away from staging a murder. Stay woke.