Today’s Word is… CLOSURE

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Why is closure so annoying?  It’s the YouTube ad of life.  One last, I just need you to know this even though it won’t change anything but I kinda need you to ride along on this guilt trip me, cuz reasons.    It’s tantalizing…you want to believe being simply apart would be enough for them to reflect, learn and grow….but we’re too impatient, you gon get these words.   It’s a hail mary because no matter how heartfelt you think your parting words are, if they don’t give a fuck then….welp.  Some people aren’t ever going to be accountable, some people just were never that into you and some are probably showing their friends what you said and laughing at you. Pro Tip: Opt for the phone call/lunch if you can; screenshots are…

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I’ve been on both sides. I’ve gotten letters, emails, epic texts, crying videos, voicemails, Adele “All I Ask” propositions, awkward public declarations (I know there’s one that’s long overdue, maybe it never happens but I’m assuming it does)….and to be fair I’ve gotten off some Dear Jane letters myself.  In fact, since we folk and all this is an excerpt from one I did…

I just wanted to get this off my chest…the one thing that separated you from just about everyone else in my life was that we had always had this amazing connection.  I felt I could tell you anything and now I’m writing an email hoping you maybe would read it.  As you know I struggle to find people to open up to and it breaks my heart as you became yet another reason why…

She ain’t care.  No one ever does.  (She did come back eventually because they always do, and she even blames said letter for pushing her farther away).  It’s counterintuitive; because clearly your feelings weren’t be acknowledged prior and more often than not, your thinkpiece on this failed relationship/hookup/imaginationship is not going to change anything.  Imagine if the Declaration of Independence was just a “I find it funny how we are being taxed…”, we’d still be on some ol God Save The Queen.  They know your feelings, they were there, (they dont want you to win), they didn’t care then, probably won’t now. MY HURT WILL BE HEARD, no it won’t.

Now closure isn’t the same as a fight for your relationship, it isn’t a selfless act to show how much you care…it’s a selfish desire that you don’t actually need for your healing process.  A desire to end things on your terms, a desire to win one last argument, a desire to get the power back.  Does it suck that they were able to assess the situation, make a decision, make peace with it and move on? Yes. Are breakups/curves/elucidations ever from nowhere? No. (Ol girl I wrote the letter to did just change up out of the blue, cuz this is my blog and I’m always right)

That’s not to say that properly executed closure isn’t helpful.  I’ve had productive conversations with people but really the best closure is the one you can find yourself.   Hell, this blog has be able to think objectively and make peace with situations before I write a four page letter and I enclose it with a diss.  Some questions are better left unanswered, or if you’re so pressed to have one, blame their upbringing, astrological sign, their big forehead, their nationality (no wypeepo, you can’t play with that one), mercury in retro greys, have fun with it (I’ve sworn off Libras, LDRs, Deltas, women under 24, vegans, smokers, writers and ends in -sha) ….then you can take a step back, reflect objectively, lick your wounds and move on.  So if you are planning to write that why won’t you love me thinkpiece…
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Don’t. *beat drops*

-Stan-

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2 Comments

Filed under Dating, Love, Relationships, Simply Stan

2 responses to “Today’s Word is… CLOSURE

  1. Pingback: Today’s Word is… HURTBAE | Stan of Few Words

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