“I’ll never do that again” – Someone who probably will.
So I was on the date recently, nice girl, we had went to a little Mexican place I liked, nice ambiance, they typically play 90s R&B and what the menu itself lacks it’s made up for with it’s margaritas. Margaritas, I didn’t feel like enjoying; she didn’t drink. Anymore. We met a bar a few weeks prior. I literally introduced myself by first inquiring about her drink. Is this the same woman I met? Who the hell was I texting all this time? It was her. I think. No, really it was her. However, the woman I met that Friday, went out with friends, got drunk things got real, she or someone got hit with a bottle, she’s not drinking for a while, also she’s no longer associated with those friends. At least that’s what I had gathered, she yada yada yada’d most the details, this was a first date after all,
can’t be showing ALL the crazy on date, gotta bring the representative ,she’on know me like that. Eventually she did order glasses of wine, and I couldn’t help but make the observation that her vow of sobriety lasted all of a few weeks. She took in stride and all in all it was a good night. So that night had me thinking about things that I have sworn off but will probably do again. Some thing I can’t actually see myself doing because I’m like 1000 days from 30 and others things, I just really hope to avoid. I remember one time I got food poisoning from a Chinese spot and didn’t eat Chinese food for years, then on the other end there’s me paying off my credit cards and vowing to never let the pretty girl with the free T shirt get me again (I was literally like the last person who was allowed to get a credit card at 18 with no damn sense where was someone to guide me away, why couldn’t I be grandfathered out, Thanks Obama). But unlike, my lovely companion that evening, I’m a man of my word; if I say I’m done with something, its over, finito. Especially things like…
Fighting- I can say I’m too damn old to be fighting. I probably had my last fight junior year of college. Ironically, it was because two other people was fighting and I was simply telling someone to stop recording the shit. Part of me wonders if I got into a fight tomorrow would I get my ass beat or is it kinda like riding a bike. I aint taking the risk, I’m just going to get by on intimidation like Kevin Garnett.
Long Distance Relationships- I’ve been over this ad nauseum.
Empire- I got sucked in last season but over the break I was able to find God and leave this wretched world of hate watching behind. I rebuke thee Terrance Howard, I rebuke thee Black Twitter. Maybe I’ll just read when it’s on
Sex on the Beach- Overrated. Very overrated.
See a Concert In General Admission- Being in a mosh pit of people, assorted smells, getting shoved and pushed just so some jackass can record the concert on their phone when they know theyre never going to watch that shitty video. No thanks, I’ll kick it in the balcony.
Thirst- Not to be confused with actual courting, but simp was so strong back in the day and it wasn’t even worth it. I have no patience for the maybekindasorta girl.
Move- Moving is the worst. Take my entire house, fit it inside of a truck, drive to another house and empty the truck. Nope, if I move again I’m hiring someone. Pay it forward and such
Stick with a show to the end even when it’s clearly bad now- *Side eyes “The Strain”*
Use Twitter on my work PC- I’ll never understand how someone has time to post a bunch of NSFW pics on like a Wednesday morning. Savages.
Give You Up- Never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you. Yes, you’ve been Rickrolled.
Stay At A Job I Hate- “At least I have a job” is a dangerous way of thinking I’m finding. I’m definitely content at my current employment but if things were to change I’m out. Life’s too short.
Soda- My diet is trash, I should work out more than I do, but giving up soda…that one actually managed to stick.