I found myself tickled by the fact people are writing about “Netflix and chill” as if it’s a new phenomenon. (let’s just ignore the fact that I’m literally writing about it). Whether it was the old Love and Basketball VHS, or that pirated Shottas DVD that seemed to just appear in every black undergraduate dorm, there was always the come over and watch a movie non date date that one would pull when they was trying to hook up but wanted to be a little tactful about it. Seeing as VHS tapes (yes I’m old enough to remember them) and DVDs are all but gone, Netflix has become the norm but the game is all the same. There’s even songs about it. Netflix should just have a “Chill” section with all the old school black romance movies, but they ain’t real. (If this happens just remember it was my idea and someone owe me a check). Not that the movie necessarily mattered because if you turn on a movie and go from credits to credits, typically something went horribly wrong. Or the movie was just too good. Sorry _______.
I did however see this broken down from two different perspectives than the tongue in cheek nature of which I did. The first being, of course the age old why doesnt this generation date? I can’t say I agree with it because speaking for myself, the perk of dating is getting out the house. I also think that chilling is more intimate than dating. I can go out to eat with someone and get to know them better, sitting up in my house or me being in theirs? Idk you like that, beloved. Netflix & chill is cool when we’ve been kicking it a while and we’re just enjoying a show together on a rainy day even though I already watched ahead so I’m sitting here rewatching episodes like they’re new. Sorry ________. (Different _______, I’ve run out of nicknames).
The other perspective was much more deep. Perhaps this was just privilege and naivete but it was something I never thought about explicitly. That “Netflix & Chill” was just another addition to a growing and troubling rape culture of assumptions and aversions to consent. The thought process that goes “She knew she wasn’t coming over to see a movie” is only a few degrees of separation from “what was she wearing” “she provoked him” two issues I’ve been vehemently opposed on this very blog. I guess I found myself stunned as I try to explain the difference and how much sense I thought I was making yet how wrong I sounded. My case being that “Netflix & Chill” was more of a euphemism than deception. If I invite a woman over to watch a movie, it’s because it sounds nicer than “you coming to get this work”. I don’t think that’s harmful, I feel like there’s a level of nuance that can be applied, instead it’s struck down as mansplaining. What’s good Miley? Cuz me no know.
What I do know that changing culture comes with changing minds, so maybe I’m just wrong on this one. I don’t believe so but it’s not a sword I’m prepared to fall on. As I said before, I’m not with just any ol girl in my home so maybe it’s something that doesn’t apply to me anyway. If we’re at “Netflix & Chill” level, we should both understand what we’re both about at that moment as well as be comfortable if maybe the mood changes midway and you end up just watching a movie and dozing off for a few. Sorry ________.