[Editors Note: Happy Stanniversary yall, crazy this is start of the 4th year, probably the last one, you know how shows go on for far too long and ruins everything (looks at HIMYM, Prison Break, Dexter, Family Guy…) I don’t want to get to that point (I don’t think I’m there yet, maybe I am one of my 6 readers let me know it’s time to hang it up) anyway I’m going to be a little more frequent, a little lighter and finish strong, anyway here’s a post that has nothing to do with any of this, Enjoy]
Trust is a funny thing. It’s in our nature to trust, we want to trust but it’s far easier said than done. More than we want to trust, we want to be trusted; as much as one can understand, there’s always a level of offense taken if you were to tell them that you don’t trust them. Nothing sets the mood quite like “so when’s the last time you got tested?”, nothing says I’m secure like checking their social media. The misconception with trust is that one must have a reason NOT to trust not the other way around. There’s been times women told me they don’t necessarily trust me and my first reaction is not “I understand” but rather “why the fuh not?”. More often than not her reasons are typically about what some ex did, and I will respond as either a) I’m not them b) how you gonna let that affect your present? Ego supercedes logic in those cases. It’s somewhat hypocritical; as that could never work on me because, well, I just don’t trust that easily. I’m not jaded, insecure, or paranoid, I don’t think, I think I’m just reluctant to trust. And that’s okay.
Trust issues are shown in a negative light most often. It’s something you must get over, it’s holding you back, it’s unhealthy…but so is blindly walking into any and every situation. It’s a frustration I have with this whole dating game; it’s too objective based and less about just getting to know and understand someone else. It’s why you bring your representative to the first few dates, play chicken with your emotions and keep every possible option open for as long as you can. So when I tell someone that I don’t trust them, can I really be blamed? And it’s not like I expect the opposite, if someone showed up on a date looking like Saturday morning and went way too deep with the TMI, I’d probably go to the restroom and never return. (Kidding, maybe, except that one time….actually I think I said something came up, paid and dipped. We arrived separately anyway.) I guess what I’m saying is, for me to trust someone I need to feel like I have genuine grasp on who they are, what they’re about and if they can meet my expectations for them. There’s level to this shit (RIP Meek Mill), and levels of trust comes with their own expectations.
I can trust a chain restaurant to make me a well done burger, but I’m probably not going to try their lobster. There’s women I can date and share a few funny stories with, but probably not giving the keys and security codes. I trusted “She” to be a girlfriend and confidante but as I contemplated getting #thatring, I realized that maybe I didn’t trust her as much as I thought I did. Conditional trust sounds kinda bad aloud but it’s something we all do, it’s just how we’re wired. All or nothing trust sounds good but most aren’t about that life. That’s not to say I don’t trust anybody; I just place limits on everybody ergo I can trust everybody. Does that make sense? It does, trust me.