Today’s Word is… TWENTY

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Andrew Jackson wasn’t shit.   He slaughtered people,  he won his elections by rounding up uneducated southern voters, he amassed his wealth primarily through slavery.   Hell,  he abhorred the idea of paper money (dollars ain’t paper, they’re cotton) yet and still Old Hickory is on the 20.  (Yes I’m kind of a history dork…Oh yeah hi International readers who have no idea what I’m talking about, my favorite readers in Zambia,  a couple Canadians, UK… ) Recently,  people (or maybe this is just a reddit thread that’s gone viral,  also I don’t really know what reddit is) have pushed to get Jackson up out of here and the new face of the 20 be someone revered and isn’t an old white man.   Harriet Tubman,  former slave turned abolitionist, civil rights activist as well as a nurse and spy during the Civil War became the popular choice to replace Jackson.   While I support this move,  I’m also torn; Jackson wasn’t shit but to be fair neither is a $20 bill.   9/10 times I specifically used a $20 it probably went to something unnecessary and you can’t quite do that with a Tubman twenty.   How you gonna make it rain Tubmans in the strip club and not feel guilty?  Perchance, I don’t need that level of accountability and I need to stick to bad 20s.  So assuming this rumor is true and the switch is made, they’ll officially be Good and Bad 20s in circulation and one should spend accordingly.

Looking back on some of the bad spending decisions I’ve made,  I can’t help but think what would happen differently if I had Harriet Tubman judging me….Like let’s say hypothetically I had company over and they overstayed their welcome but it’s like 2am and maybe I just gave $20 for a cab so they can go on about their business.   I feel like you can’t do that with a good 20.  Good $20s should go to something a bit more worthwhile like…

-Buy that gross ass Boy Scouts popcorn,  why can’t they get some cookies no one wants that shit

– Get a fresh cut…. In 2013.  I paid $30 for my last haircut.  I’m growing dreads (no I’m not)

– Buy some clippers

– Get Ciara’s album,  she needs a win

– Map a domain name for your blog (oh yeah, that happened)

– Buy a nice tie (I spend way too much on ties and like,  they aren’t even clothes it’s a strip of fabric you wear around your neck, but I’m fly tho)

– Go to a thrift shop and buy random shit

– Go to a Dollar Store and buy random shit (I think I’ve said shit a lot already)

– Get her some Just Because flowers,  nice enough for her to instagram not too nice she wanna know what you did

– Buy a book,  reading is fundamental

– Get your car detailed, there’s like 2 year old fries back there

– Hook up a panhandler, maybe they too would feel bad about wasting a Tubman

– Take your favorite jacket to the cleaners

– Get a charger for your phone cuz your old one has like 3 shorts in it and you gotta hold it at a 45 degree angle to work

– Support a black owned business

Jacksons however, can and will continue to go to the ratchet goods as intentioned.   Hell, good 20s in circulation should make Jacksons even more ratchet; buy some weed, a bottle of Everclear, pay for a month of Tidal (Okay don’t do that).   And so I implore you to look back on the last time you spent a $20 bill and tell me that it wasn’t something ratchet or unnecessary.  Why?  Because Jackson ain’t shit. 

-Stan-

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1 Comment

Filed under Money, Randomness

One response to “Today’s Word is… TWENTY

  1. Andy Jackson isn’t one my state’s best exports. Dude is America’s only thug POTUS. Dude perpetuated a genocide, hated blacks, Indians, the English, Davy Crockett, and everyone not named Andrew Jackson. His only saving grace is that he wanted to hang John C Calhoun. The men on our money are bad but he was worse.

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