So I’m single. Like single single. No dates, no boos, no baes, no nah means, no ol girl, no new cast and characters, no prospects, no hey strangers. For probably the first time in years, I spent Valentine’s weekend alone; sipping Honey Jack (rare because I typically don’t drink at home), playing PS4 and watching All Star Weekend. Don’t cry for me Argentina, its been a refreshing couple months, working on me before I dare venture back out in the treacherous conditions that is dating in the twentyteens. As much as I’ve spoken to hating dating, the motions of “what kinda girls you like?” “My ex did this that and the third” “you only text me 2 word answers, is something wrong” BLEH. But I’m a serial monogamist, a romantic, a courter, I’m not fit for this life of not knowing the next time I can get a shot off. There’s probably some deep rooted issue that I hate being alone but I didnt see it on WebMD. So what do you do when you hate being single and hate dating (
You meet a girl, who is attractive but you’re not all that into, she thinks you’re the most amazing guy ever and you date for 8 weeks, but then you want to be a nice guy so 8 becomes 16. Then she says she loves you so you can’t leave, you carry on playing Prince Charming until she slips up and now you have a reason to leave and its her “fault”, she tries to win you back to no avail but you still smash from time to time because you’re a terrible person. You’re much less contemptible now but for past transgressions karma came through and crushed the buildings now you’re spending Valentines with flavored whiskey and Brady. #LifeComesAtYouFast). It’s like the struggle of going to work and looking for work. Left between peeling yourself out of bed and going to work, and getting up skimming job boards and going on interviews, well, time for work.
As I prepare to hopefully leave singledom alone for the last time (well in this day and age I can deduce I’m probably 2 relationships away from the woman I’ll end up marrying.). There’s some lessons I’ve learned for the 9-9 and the 2015 that I must remember…
Its okay to be picky- The thing is when you’re single, every one suddenly got some homegirl, bad built cousin or coworker they think would be perfect for you. If you decline at any point, you’re picky or you just want to be a playa some more. I’m young, employed and still have a hairline I rebuke thee scraps.
Assume you’re not the only one- Something you learn when you have nobody is that that’s actually rare; there’s always someone waiting in the wings, shooting their shot. Save yourself the headache.
Stay off Facebook; it’s just a bunch of engagements & pregnancies- 9 of my friends proposed over the past month. Nine. And all the stories were like back to back on my news feed, fuck you Zuckerburg, go have a kid that will become a Superhero/CEO after you die when he’s 8 because comic books said that’s what always happens.
Your ex still ain’t shit- You’re single, they’re single, you have pleasant conversations about the good times and where you went wrong. You think hmm, who knows me better than this person, why not give it a new round. Resist this urge. They still ain’t shit.
No one respects your free time-
“yo what you getting into tonight”
“just chilling with _____”
“something something whipped, iight yo”
“yo what you getting into tonight”
“Nothing just at the crib”
“Get dressed we about to go see whats up with these chicks like 90 minutes away one of them look like Rihanna she a lil chubbier”
“Im good I’m just chilling”
“Stop being a bitch just come out, we on our way to your crib”
Patience isn’t a virtue- One thing I learned that a lot of “friends” I had when I was seeing someone were really just waiting their turn like Drake and Nicki. Its odd.
Dating websites just aren’t for me- One night out of curiosity I made an account on I think it was OKCupid, i don’t remember. I answer the questions, write an amazing profile and before I upload a picture, I skim through my matches…….. Ex, my boys BM, girl I hooked up with in college, a plethora of white women who I don’t think liked me, another ex, some obvious catfish, a cousin, another girl i used to mess with….the dating pool is too shallow.
The World hasn’t ended- I enjoyed my weekend alone, I haven’t got to point where I’m just being pitied yet, I can say and do what I want without hurting someone’s feelings. At this point, I’m just chilling with an eye out in case I left someone but not looking for just, anyone. If that makes sense.
SFW is much more interesting when I have stories to share- So, you know, stay tuned and what not.