Monthly Archives: January 2015

Today’s Word is… THUG

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So what is a thug?  By definition, it’s a criminal.  What is a criminal, someone who commits a crime.  What isn’t a crime? Being a black person. 

So what is a thug? It has become the Coke Zero version of the n word, used in the same degrading context that it might as well be the “t word” (sorry t word has already been taken; would you like to try t word01, t word_, word.t). A year after Seahawks cornerback shared these very sentiments, it appears no one has learned their lesson because this year the thug scope has been aimed at Sherman’s teammate Marshawn Lynch.  Not for being loud, aggressive and outspoken like Sherman, he actually wants to just do his job and go home.  Thug life.  When thug isn’t being misappropriated to an athlete, its being used to describe an unarmed police homicide victim, the President, the author of this blog.  Now what do we all have in common? *cue Jeopardy music*

So what is a thug?  It’s the Coke Zero version of n*gger.  It’s n*gger but don’t take my job, it’s n*gger but don’t call me a racist, it’s I need to feel okay with unarmed teens dying, it’s I need to still feel superior to a black millionaire, it’s why can you people say the other word and I can’t. 

So what is thug? To me, its a slur.  I’ll go out on a limb and say if someone refers to a black person as such, you meant the other word.  They meant to dehumanize, they meant to devalue, they meant to stir up a certain feeling of disdain.  In short, words means things and I wish people especially in the media would stop insulting our intelligence by feigning ignorance to the context of what they’re saying.  When they call Lynch a thug, they aren’t thinking about Bond villain henchmen or the Indian muggers of the 1800s, they are thinking “a contemptible black person”. 

So what is a thug?  It’s not to be taken lightly, it’s not a racist cheat code, it’s not a Super Bowl winning Running Back who won’t give a quote.  In the same way society frowns upon white people saying the n word (unless you play wide receiver for the Eagles) I hope eventually words like “thug”, “ghetto”, “hood”, “inner city” become just as despised because we’re not naive and know exactly whats being implied. 

-Stan-

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Today’s Word is… TWITTER

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One of my first barbershops I went to was this half barbershop/half salon up the street.  It started off strictly two separate establishments as dudes with braids & sistas with fades grew more trendy the masses joined together and not long after a Battle of the Sexes was waged.  Initially, I was “young blood” being talked through, not to, by men and women alike trying to win their respective debates under the guise of giving me some game.  As I got older I partook in some of the dialogues but eventually, I just wanted to get my “regular, 1 1/2, skinny chinstrap, leave the goatee” and go about my business. So, I found a new barbershop.  It got exhausting debating hypoghettocals like “So you wouldn’t smash your cousins ex if you only met her one time before at a party and she don’t recognize you now” with a bunch of people whose opinions on the matter don’t actually mean anything.  (Also my regular barber got locked up Free “Dread” Bwop Bwop *air horns*).    That’s how I feel about Twitter or “Black Twitter” as the media outlets like to call it sometimes; it just gets….exhausting. 

Now if you follow me on there, you know I’m fairly active on Twitter.  At its best, Twitter is great at getting and reacting to news in real time or consuming media.  Whether its the Superbowl, Apple Press Conference, a State of the Union address, Twitter is the go to for context, opinion, and them jokes (and of course trolls but they get half a bar…..y’all know the rest).  Then there’s times when there isn’t really any news, no game is on, no TV show with a cult following on; its a Tuesday morning and people are at work? more or less getting their barbershop on with outlandish opinions, with mentions and RTs providing credence to the nonsense.  It feels like I’m back at the old barbershop. Everything is a battle.

I’m in my mid 20s, corporate job, Gemini, no kids, under 6′, attended a PWI, have a Samsung phone, PS4, Boston sports fan, indifferent on the weight and hair choice of dating partners, somewhat traditionalist, lean liberal, and I like Turkey Bacon.  That right there is about 35 twitter debates, except I don’t feel the need to turn every aspect of my life into a societal debate.  It’s not so much that I think celeb X is attractive, everyone must or else prepare for battle.  If a 21 year old wants to think her husband must make 100K, why must the league of 30something Twitter rain judgement upon her and tell her she can’t because they didn’t?  Why can’t a song be a song or a movie a movie without someone putting their own agenda into it?  We do we even care when it has no actual bearing on our feelings, our lives.  I remember the barbershop wars would get so heated, you would think these were couples arguing and not strangers and acquaintances that wasn’t checking for each other anyway.  So why even invest the energy? Who cares?

We care. We all do.  It’s a natural urge to defend when one feels attacked, even if the attacker is a sassy stranger getting a roll n set or just some miscellaneous person on Twitter.  Over time, that urge wanes when you realize ultimately that person doesn’t matter.  “Don’t feed the trolls” “Its Just Twitter” “I Know Somebody Like It” much easier said than done when confronted with some fuggery.  I’ve gotten better with just rolling my eyes and keeping it moving but on a good day, I will go off.  But you know I’m being better in 2015, channel your inner Kanye n whatnot.  I stopped going to the barbershop, I could just as easily delete Twitter……

….nah.  Its too connected to my TV watching (cuz some shows are just unwatchable without live tweeting) but I will make it a point to take some breaks when I’m fourfiveseconds from wyling because some people, well, I just wonder who raised them

-Stan-

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Today’s Word is… PROCLIVITY

[Editors Note: A quick peek into my creative process

*New Post*

Today’s word is… TYPE

Damn I did that already, maybe a repost with added commentary? 

*reads*

Nah, wouldn’t fit.  I guess this is more on preferences

lToday’s Word is… PREFERENCE (D’OH!)

How about proclivity, if I’ve done this one before I swear Today’s Word will be End and I’ll quit only got like 3 readers anyway…

Nope never did proclivity.

Wait, am I using that word right?  Of course I am.

*googles to make sure*

Ooh I like how penchant sounds better…maybe I should flip a coin to decide. (I never carry change)

*downloads coin flip app*

Okay now I’m just stalling…wait, what was I writing about?

Writers. We’re all weird.

Now to our feature presentation…]

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So I don’t go no type.  Bad bitches is the only thing that I like.  Skinny, plenty, black, white, I date who I’m interested in and who’s available at the time.  So I was talking to a friend about a crush of hers and how she felt she had a good shot because his ex wasn’t overly attractive.  I found this development interesting because had she never seen her she would likely be intimidated because she would assume he was into, well, not her.  It’s a normal fear that comes with any hey booing, you never know what they like and if you qualify.  However, seeing an actual representation of someone they would date and presumably find attractive, there you actually have someone to compare yourself to. It was interesting to hear this come from a woman and if this was common, the idea that you would be more attracted to someone based on their type. 

As someone who occasionally has thought themselves out of approaching someone, I wonder if I would be more or less inclined, even subconsciously, to approach that same person if they dated someone who looked like Gucci Mane.  Would I be turned off or would self assurance kick in like ” psssh, I can do that”.  What if her ex was like Idris Songz (or whomever y’all man crush Mondays be these days) would I still be filled with that same bravado?  Probably. I’m fly.  Seriously, I would like to think I’ve  never self disqualified; I’d like to think most people are as random as I am with preferences.  Honestly, I find it odd when someone has a strict “type” it just comes off as fetishized and dehumanizing  (see: white women who make it a point to note that all they’ve ever liked was black guys, black guys who are all about latinas and can’t tell the difference between Puerto Rican and Salvadoran).

Enter social media, where you don’t even have to try and project what their interests are and who they be with, you can just see it for yourself.  Your “competition” for lack of a better word is right there.  Every ex, bae, boo or suitor in a scouting report curated by Mark Zuckerburg and the good folks over at Roc-a-Fella records.  My social media is frustratingly boring, so I’ve been told, so one would just have to ask me (like they’ve done a million times), I’m just going to describe them and smile (like I’ve done a million times) because it really wouldn’t matter if my “type” was exotic instamodels, and hers were 6’5 lightskinneds there we would be together so we would both be full of shit. (Or we would just be…typos *cue rimshot*).

I guess my point here is that type or proclivity doesn’t matter much.  Spoiler alert, we tend to say one thing and do another (pun intended).  The confidence boost more or less a placebo, stepping to someone because you think you finer than their ex be advised, results may vary. 

-Stan-

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Today’s Word is… JUDGE

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Lol.

We all judge.  They say don’t judge a book by its cover but if I see a video vixen holding a gun with bricks of coke in the background titled Trap Lady: I Nu It Was Time; I feel like I know exactly what kinda book that is and its intended audience (#40) Impressions matter, appearances matter, words matter.  There’s a negative connotation that’s always associated with judging, it’s always used to elucidate unfair, prejudiced thought.  Hi Respectability Politics brigade.  The other misconception is that to judge means one thinks they are better.  When I say I judge someone its really to say, “hm I wouldn’t do that” or “I wonder what’s the story is there”.  As an INFJ (#37*), I observe, I wonder, I theorize.  My “judgement” is moreso rooted in curiosity.  Just the other day, I ordered a veggie burger with real bacon, the cook probably judged me, but he’s considerably older than me with a mohawk, so I’m judging him (#46*).  (But for real its like he’s Jordan bald and then this crimpy strip of hair or its actually braided, like who is braiding this inch wide strip of hair routinely….you don’t have the answers Sway.  I judge people every day, sorry Tupac I’m inquisitive.  I can’t help but wonder why some people say and do things.  There’s probably a valid reason for all (25? 100?…eh I’ll do 50) of these things (okay some are inexcusable) but hey, ima judge anyway.  Cuz only God can judge me.  Boom. Flipped that.

50) Mets fans (this includes my father)
49) People who wear pajamas in public
48) Men on the subway who dont at least offer their seat to a woman
47) People who purchased a Wii U
46) Grown men with mohawks

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#45

45) Owners of selfie sticks
44) 2015 Blackberry Owners
43) Paid Journalists who just post screenshots of tweets
42) Chitterlings eaters
41.5) People who didn’t know that’s the proper spelling of “chitlins”
41) Dudes at the kickback who take pictures holding bottles they didn’t buy
40) Self published Literatcheture Authors who never edited their work
39) Parents who bought their kids heelys
38) People with “backup” Instagrams
37) People who qualify statements with personality types or astrological sign
36) I love Makonnen fans

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36.)This isnt I Love Makonnen...or is it

35. People who go to Hookah bars
34. Grown men with cornrows
33. Women who don’t want their man to watch adult entertainment
32. People who don’t eat fried chicken (this includes my beloved Reine)
31. Men who don’t like any sports
30. People who lose 10 lbs and start selling Herbalife
29. Black people who strictly listen to hip hop only
28. Bougie black people who think they’re “ironically ratchet”
27. Pedestrians who press the light even when you was letting they ass cross
26. Raider fans
25. Black men without facial hair not named Barack Obama
24. Anyone who still uses hotmail (again, my own father)
23. Men who do suspect things to “mock” women

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#23

22. Women who follow Joe Budden
21. People who don’t have a favorite Michael Jackson song
20. People who cheat in Words With Friends
19. Dating advice gurus
18. Anyone who liked Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor
17. Big girls who fail to see the irony in casting aspersions on smaller women
16. Parents who take their kids to school without hats and gloves
15. Whoever be making fake deep memes comparing Jordans to slavery
14. People who celebrate month “anniversaries”
13. Lil Boosie

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12. Dudes who don’t even think about washing their hands in the bathroom
11. Able bodied people who take the elevator in the gym
10. Women who comment on BallerAlert
9. People who say “natural hair isn’t for everybody”
8. Men who won’t let their hairline rest in peace

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Let it go, let it goooo

7. Women who wear waist trainers
6. Bill Cosby conspiracy theorists
5. Black men who just log on Twitter to talk down on black women
4. People who leak nudes
3. Poor black conservatives
2. Homophobes
1. Deadbeat parents

Honorable mentions: 
People who get tattooed by amateurs, People who want to know why there isn’t a White History Month
Dudes who send unsolicited dicktures, People who make gofundme’s for selfish causes
Anyone who still rocks Girbaud jeans

-Stan-

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Today’s Word is… HAPPY

Hi.  Been a while.

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2014 was a year of struggle, stress, heartbreak, loss, powerlessness.  Sure I had good moments, met some amazing people, reconnected with others, made a little more money but looking back 2014 was the year I held in a lot.  Anger, resentment, jealousy, bitterness….it was exhausting.  I have but one resolution in the twenty fifteen.  Be happy.  Control what I can, which is my own sanity and satisfaction.  At the end of the year I want to look back at the things that upset me and at least be able to say I did my best to avoid it.  So how does one go about being a happier person? Channel your inner Kanye.  That inner monologue that tells you you’re better at everything, happiness starts within. For me, I have plenty of ways I’m going to be a happier person (named after Kanye songs, cuz why not)

Say you Will- It starts with a commitment.  Easier said than done because annoyances happen but just as something can ruin my day, surely a pleasantry can make it

Why I Love You- Appreciate loved ones.  Like the first point too much is spent on the negative. I look at my recent texts and the most active threads were because of arguments when that time and unproductive work time can be spent on one who won’t upset me

I’m in it- Obviously.  Also proved by science.

Clique- I need to be more sociable, spend more time with friends instead of my social life being primarily based off my dating life

Workout Plan- Relieve stress, lose some weight, get out the house…wins all around right

Hell of a Life- My life is more interesting than I give it credit for sometimes, I’ve accomplished things, had a fair share of wild nights, and I still have time for more adventures speaking of…

Runaway- I need to travel more.  I focus on lofty trips like 3 weeks in Paris when I could easily spend a couple hundred to spend a weekend elsewhere

Blame Game- the title kinda a stretch but basically, forgive people.  I hold grudges (cuz petty) but in the end its just not worth the energy.

Drive Slow- or walk.  Just getting some air and no more working through lunch

All Falls Down– Have failsafes in place, rainy day funds, reliable support people, because what’s happiness without peace of mind.  One lesson learned in 2014 was that I didn’t really have the support I thought I did, so now I must do better

H*A*M- cuz some people just need to get cussed out.  It feels good, like saying Mufasa.

New Day- start each day not fretting on the last one.  

Then there’s others I couldn’t fit into the song theme, selfless acts, compliment people, devote more time to hobbies, block more people on Twitter get a full nights sleep, fuck Jordans get decor, avoid negative people, laugh more, try to learn something new, stop watching the Celtics they’re depressing, drink less alcohol, don’t date Deltas, go out at least a weekend a month, stop comparing myself to others (unless I’m flexing on them…kidding, slightly), and overall just focus on being happy.  2015: the year of the smile.

-Stan

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