[You ever write something and think I might’ve wrote about this before…well I was going to talk about why I hate the club and realized hey I wrote about this before…This. Is. The. Repost. *Diddy bops*]
I’m a homebody. I guess. It’s not that I prefer a night in, okay maybe I do with the proper company, but I don’t mind going out and having a good time. When I do it’s usually a getogether or a happy hour, I’m more of less done with the club scene. There’s exceptions like birthday parties, I’m out of town, I’m really bored or already drunk, and presumably my or a close friend’s bachelor party. Other than that, at the age 25, still in my clubbing prime, I shall hang my neon wristband in the rafters. I had a good run, well not really in about 7 years of adult hood I think I’ve been to the club about 10 times, one was eh, the other was illmatic. I never been a big fan of clubs, much more comfortable at getogethers, pub crawls and parties. Clubs are just blah to me, or maybe it’s because I’m in Boston, a popular city with one of the weaker nightlives. At least for me it is (more on that later). If I am invited out for reindeer games, first question I ask is if it’s a bar or club and that usually dictates if I’m busy or not. I can list 100 reasons why I’m not a fan of the club but lets stick with 10.
10. Avengers Assemble- Maybe it’s just my friends and family but it’s always a daunting task to get everyone ready to go out, someone needs a babysitter, someone’s broke, someone can’t find something to wear. You can’t go alone because, well, that’s weird so you’re at the mercy of others
9. Say cheese- Of course there’s the gratuitous before shots, maybe even a few in the club but after I had some drinks, I don’t need to be photographed and wake up to a 10 Facebook notifications of people discussing who was I all up on the dance floor with. That’s how you get that Kanye West DDT.
8. Lines- You’ve gotten dressed up, you’ve pregamed, you’ve listened to music in the car on the way there, you turned up and……..stand outside for 25 minutes waiting to get in, because 293 people on Facebook think they on the “guest list”
7. Music sucks- These days any dude with a macbook is a DJ, and it shows by how terrible they are, I’ve gone to spots where they played entire songs, mixed horribly and i still dont know how to dance to house music.
6. Dress to Impress?- Maybe it’s more for men, but it kills me how I have to come dressed like I’m interviewing while about to slide in with a tee shirt and some panties on. (there’s a difference between a freakum dress and whats cleaely a shirt, just saying). Granted I tend to rock business casual anyway, but why do you have to dress up for our own enjoyment.
5. Bouncers don’t care about black people- The main reason I hate clubbing is there’s always some excuse to not let *ahem* individuals of my melanin in, your ID expires in 20 minutes, those shoes aren’t hardbottom, your collar is wrinkled, you have cornrows in 2013. You waited in line got in and find out your boy getting Mutumboed like he’s 19. The worst.
4. Crowded and sweaty- Just way too many people, hot breath, been dancing all night, even VIP crowded because 100 of those 293 facebook people sent the promoter a scantily clad selfie or went to high school with him or dated his cousin.
3. Drunk people- I don’t even like being around super drunk people, it’s quite annoying. Now I’m in a crowded club with filterless people who’s gonna spill drinks, fall, cop not so subtle feels and ask you to take their picture. Pass.
2. For display only- You at the bar you see her dancing in all her curvaceous glory, you hear a song you like, you ready to dance, you make your way to the floor, you tap her ask to dance AND…..Noap, she only here to dance with her homegirl because her man cheated on her with a girl from Myspace she took him back he reconnected with the girl on Instagram and cheated again.
And the number 1 reason, I hate the club
1. I’m cheap- Everything about the club is an unnecessary expense. I can buy a bottle for what they bout to charge for this pineapple juice with a capful of Grey Goose in it. Cover, parking, tips, drinks for that girl who you’re going to be bored with 2 weeks from now, I hit the club come home and think about what I could’ve bought with that money. But I guess the experience is priceless right? Whatever.
Eph the club.