I’m one of those guys who are attracted to quirks. Of course, I’m attracted to physical features as much as the next guy, but I’m far more likely to talk to the woman with the bomb perfume on than the one with v neck. I’ll talk to the woman reading a book before a woman on her smartphone. If I’m at the bar, I’ll probably talk to girl with an exotic drink than the one with cranberry and vodka. There’s no rhyme or reason to one being superior to the other but different catches my attention. (#wellactually all these women approached would have things I can use as an icebreaker, but that’s not the point I’m making). Different is interesting. Different gets noticed. Or maybe I just bore easily….shrug life.
So anyway, I got a reader email, and it was the usual, I’m attractive, I’m employed, I’m respectful, but I’m unchose. Now the curious case of single sucessful black woman is well documented. Usually from the extremes, the women point the finger at men, the men point the finger right back at them. Personally, I don’t believe in “hookup culture” no matter how many homely looking, introverted women write about it on Thought Catalog (that felt mean, I’m sorry) or that every dude suffers from some Peter Pan syndrome. I also don’t believe that women are too independent, too churchy, or too angry. Really, I think the reason so many great catches are single is because, well there’s so many great catches. As the reader went on to describe herself, she sounded like 12 other people I know, so the real question was
What separates YOU from the 1000s of other beautiful, successful women in your area?
Plenty of pretty women cook, are open and vocal about their sexuality, like sports, play video games, don’t mind men who let themselves go, allegedly low maintenance, are hopeless romantics, don’t get jealous, don’t like to club, etc the types of things that supposedly make them “unicorns” are fairly commonplace now, to the point you probably can say men are spoiled by it. So how does one stand out in a sea of eligible bachelorettes? Going back to my original point….just be different. Embrace what makes you weird. Never know who finds it adorable.