So recently, the above video went viral featuring some gentleman, presumably from New York(“You Grimey Son!” the most New Yorkiest phrase ever uttered) freaking out after his girlfriend, his world, his cinnamon apple (I cant mock as im just as lame with pet names) is leaving him. Who knows what he did to deserve this fate but by threatening to humiliate her by posting pictures (yet he’s the one who’s being embarrassed, score one for karma) he’s hard to pity. Now we’ve all been humbled, we’ve all been angry but I cant think of anything as low as publishing intimate photos on the internet. I can, however, relate to his hurt, relate to his pettiness. Hurt makes you do crazy things.
As someone who may or may not have
-sent flowers to her with a passive aggressive ass card
-sold our prom tickets for a throwback jersey
-called her mother on her birthday and intentionally forget hers
-stood her up in the middle of the city
-saved a Valentines Day gift and gave it to someone else the following year
-went on Instagram and “unliked” every picture
-#heyboo’d her best friend (never pulled the trigger i just wanted her to see these homegirls ain’t loyal)
That’s not even including the classic drunk dials, long winded messages and sleeping with someone you regret(that someone being the very person you were trying to over in the first place). Ultimately, I came to regret everything (maybe not the birthday thing, her mama loved me) because when the dust settled all you’ve done is burned a bridge. Breakups are humbling and embarrassing and not everyone, see video, can handle such a traumatic experience. Thats only amplified in an era where your mental breaks are being filmed, you can look on your phone and see 3 dozen people “like” that your girl is single now, or your Twitter rant is a click away from going viral. Hopefully, he calms down and doesn’t hit send on something he cant take back, hopefully she doesn’t take him back (cuz crazy) and he grows from this just like I and many other dudes have. Just throw on “Say You Will” and your best I ain’t crying face and soldier on until it don’t hurt no more. Damn, now I miss my caramel sunflower.