Today’s Word is… STRANGER

[Editors Note: Repost, cuz writers block and I was halfway done with a post and thought, hey didn’t I do this already? Anyway, this felt fitting since we’re in this end of the summer lull where people suddenly start reappearing in our inboxes, hearts weary from a long summer of dating and have come to realize that hey, maybe you aren’t the worst they can do. Say no to comebacks, except Jordan, because Space Jam. Rendez-vous le jeudi!]

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So, I got a text from this girl I used to see that she chose this cutie pie with whom she wanna be. She apologized if the message got me down then she CCed every man she see-seed around town. I wasn’t down, just a little confused we wasn’t together, or dating to say the least, we went out maybe once or twice, text when I was bored, had roles reversed I don’t think I would’ve shown the same courtesy. Guess she thought more of me than I her, it happens. It made me wonder if that’s how it should go down usually, when you are off the market do you go tell it on the mountain or let it be. The times I did tell someone that “I know we not together but I need to tell you we not together”, it was people who I knew would want to know this (i.e. I seen you naked or I really don’t want to talk to you anymore). There’s been times when I really would’ve appreciated a heads up and times like this when I really didn’t need to know you was gone. What’s more awkward than breaking up with someone who never considered dating you is when you do so and then you try to go back to said person who never actually considered dating you. Which is exactly what happened with the aforementioned woman who’s trying to make a comeback. Nah.

It’s just a natural occurrence in life, especially for single people there will be the ones who just disappear/reappear like Copperfield. I’m good for it myself, whether you’re committed or not, there’s favoritism, I might talk to someone all day every day while someone else might get stuck in the meh zone. Out of sight, out of mind. Why someone might disappear, it can be for whatever, you’ve run out of things to talk about, they found someone new, their phone got cut off, you took too long to put out (kidding, partially.) The comeback is always funny. It’s one thing if you run into an old flame at the store and we re-exchange info but when you just seen her Jamaican vacation photos on Facebook and suddenly you scrolling through the contacts trying to find a way to re-break the ice you let freeze solid months ago, another story entirely. Spoiler Alert, if you wondering why suchandsuch just reappeared, peep the sultriness of your last uploaded photo or avatar. (Sidebar: If you’re over 21, I’ma need you to not still be getting your phone shut off every other month and to have a consistent email that isn’t ballababyphatass@hotmail.com). Why ol girl reappeared, maybe it was my Facebook photo, maybe she’s trying to get back to her old life before dude, who knows? But so starts the awkward reappearing stranger convo (sadly this is exactly how it happened)

I wonder what he’s been up to…

“Hey stranger”

I’m pretty sure I’ve spoken on my hatred of this phrase. Translation: “I’m acknowledging we haven’t talked in a while but I’m not acknowledging it”

“How you been”

No one ever cares how you been that whole thing you wasn’t speaking otherwise, well they would’ve spoke. Translation: “you still single?”

That’s good

Regardless what you said they don’t care. Translation: “Now ask me a question so I can tell you I’m single or I’ll be in town”

I miss you

Again, bullshit. Translation: “Do you actually miss me”

But you never hit me up

Prepping the role reversal…. Translation: “Eat the cake, Anna Mae…”

I see how it is

Wait, YOU hit ME up why am I explaining myself Translation: “Gotcha bitch”

We should hang out sometimes

Availability and interest confirmed, on to phase 2 Translation: “Ask ME out so then it becomes your responsibility to plan”

Ok, sounds fun see you then

What? I don’t have shit else to do. Translation: “Game. Blouses.”

Don’t talk to strangers kids.

-Stan-

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